Tuesday, June 27, 2006

   Updating!
yay finally i can update! my computer wont let me onto Myotaku so im at bethany's house. yay! thanks to the people who keep up with my buisy life and the people who missed me while i was gone (i bet no one did...*sad*) ok anyways...im in summer school this summer and im switching schools too. its cool i guess but my stalker kid is going to the same school so ill have to spend all year with him...yuck. well i g2g
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   Updating!
yay finally i can update! my computer wont let me onto Myotaku so im at bethany's house. yay! thanks to the people who keep up with my buisy life and the people who missed me while i was gone (i bet no one did...*sad*) ok anyways...im in summer school this summer and im switching schools too. its cool i guess but my stalker kid is going to the same school so ill have to spend all year with him...yuck. well i g2g
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Tuesday, June 6, 2006

   666!
Whoohoo HAPPY 666! i got "dressed up" today in my black clothes and dark makeup. its the good stuff even tho Craig dissaproves the Goth look but he's not here to see it is he?? dum dum dum j/k he wouldnt care. Well i have to go to some psycologist guy at 9:15 today....im scared i dont want to go. ~.~ I wish i coulda talked to Craig about it before i go....

Hmm...Oh so you like my new background?? Tell me what you think, ok? thnx. Im in love with Advent Children. Ive been trying to find it everywhere with out having to buy it, and FINALLY our local movie renting place JUST got it in like 4 days ago and i was the first to get it! Muahaha! lol

Hmm.....i have the urge to play KH2 but Craig still hasnt beaten it yet. Yeah he was telling me how he'd beat it in a week, yeah right. i actually thnk i beat it faster than he did.




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Monday, June 5, 2006

   So....
Me and Craig's anniversary was way more wonderful than i could have ever imagined! we chilled at his house (instead of him comming here) and it was like KAPOW! we were chilling down stairs in his basement and one thing lead to another....it was good stuff! Mmm i get all happy inside just thinking about it. (Im sure you people dont really want to hear this because im ranting on and on about how much i love my boyfriend but nothing really goes on in my town that i can tell about so this is basically my only interesting thing....) Idk all i have to say was that i had a good time, but im sad because i cant see Craig next week cause he's going on his school camping trip....damn you stupid school to hell! oh well i think i can live without him for a week...but i kno im gonna go insane durning finals week unless i at least get to talk to him. Idk well i have to go because someone needs the computer. Well ill post again soon! L8rs. -Alexx


Oh, P.S.- Good job Bethany on yur Alpaca show!First place bitches!
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Friday, June 2, 2006

   Anniversary!
yay today is me and Craig's anniversary! whoop whoop! lol yeah we're gonna hang out tomorrow at my house. Im gonna show him all the cool places in Herkimer (yeah who am i kidding?) and we're gonna have fun. But see, Zack (the goth kid i was dating who broke up with me to go out with my bff, if u dont remember) is trying to find a reason to beat craig up, and i dont want Zack to. He's being an asshole about it. i wish Zack would just stop....idk. Well i hope everything works out....
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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Yay!
3 more days until Me and Craig's 2 month aniversary! I kno it hasnt been a long time but we're working on it! He wants something kinky....like sex? eh...idk...lol *wink wink* So....I got my 2006 yearbook this morning! yay! i look decent in my picture but ive changed so much since then. in the picture i look really goth, but now i just look regular. It pisses me off tho that the stupid yearbook staff put the modified picture for track from LAST YEAR in the place of the one for this year. at least me and Jess are in it, so what ever...im thirsty, i think im gonna go get a drink. l8r.
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Friday, May 26, 2006

   lol
Lol Myles is making me laugh. Mike is making noises too. Omg their moaning like fucking pornstars! haha its so funny. now they r talking like gangsters. god i love these guys,..
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Thursday, May 25, 2006

'Wish i'd died, instead of lived. A zombie hides my face...'
So...now that im all done with commenting everyone i guess ill post something for you!

ugh...i dont kno guys...the depression's kicking in really badly this week. All i want to do is hang out with Craig for Memorial Day weekend, but i think mom doesnt want me too....Shes telling me that i hang out with him every weekend -which i do...- but weekends r the only time i get to see him! I was really looking forward to seeing my boyfriend this weekend and getting to hang out with his family....I absolutely adore his family. When im around them, i actually feel like i belong in a family....When im at my house, i feel like i dont belong...i feel like im just there to get yelled at, or hit, or fucking put down by their words. i fricking came home yesterday and showed my mom my 98% that i got on my Constructions Math test (which i thought was dreadfully hard) and all she says to me was "u can do better" and she walked away....Thats the best grade ive gotten in math all year!!! Fuck, i dont kno what the bitch i call my mother is getting strug up on but she needs to just fucking die...i kno it sounds horrible to hear me say that, but as i sit in school today, all ive thought about is how much i love my boyfriend and how i cant wait to see him on the weekend, but then i think about mom and what she was saying to me....everytime i think this,i feel the feeling of hate getting stronger and i dont kno when im just gonna fucking blow up and punch the bitch in the face, or leave the house, or worse, but idk.....

Ive been listening to this song alot lately and i think it explains me completely...
Its called "Bother" By StoneSour:

-Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries

And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I'll never live down my deceit-



If u really read this all the way through, then u can comment me, but if u didnt enjoy my shitty post, then dont bother.


im srry that ive been moody and mean sounding but i just cant take it anymore...
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

   Yay
Justin is over-riding the system!!!!
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

   This song by James Blunt explains me. I really like it.....
"High"

Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me.
There is nothing else in the world,
I'd rather wake up and see (with you).
Beautiful dawn - I'm just chasing time again.
Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.
But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Beautiful dawn - melt with the stars again.
Do you remember the day when my journey began?
Will you remember the end (of time)?
Beautiful dawn - You're just blowing my mind again.
Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine.
High; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older?
Promise me tomorrow starts with you,
Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me

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