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myOtaku.com: A Non-follower


Friday, July 14, 2006


1st part sad part, 2nd part happy part. READ WHATEVER PART
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Hey. I lost someone very important today. No. No one died. I lost a friend, and the love of a family member. Both is one of my step sisters. We got into the biggest argument of our little, fucking, lives. I'm not gonna sat what the argument was about. Anyway, her and I have been close our entire 3/4ths of our lives.
I met her when I was 5. Her first impression was getting stung by a bee on the first day I met her. She's allergic to them. After we were out of the emergency room. We really had a fun time talking about what we liked. Today, a part of me died. I was always used to having her around me all the time. We were each other's sidekicks. Today. We no longer speak. We have both changed so much, she decided to be mean to everyone around her and I somehow turned into a joy for everyone in my family to be around.
My step sister: Always looked up to me, always gave me piggyback rides, always went with the flow. Me: I used to be a big, little bitch that no one could stand, I even made my step dad cry, (he's a big, muscular man) Now: She doesn't want to hang out with anyone, she has a cardboard box of a boyfriend, BITCH, hates me and is very spoiled. Me: Has nothing, very content, many friends, tons of therapy, family that loves mwa, crybaby, angelic and not fat.
Today, I confessed to my step sister that I was sorry. She was in trouble for being mean and mistreating her brother and sister (and me). All she did was ignore me and glare at me when I was pouring my heart out. She didn't seem to care. My eyes started to hurt as salty tears burned down my face.
"Um... (step sister's name) I'm sorry If we had a disagreement or two these past few days. But we've gone through too much together for you to just sweep me out of your life. I'm one of the only people you have. Everyone else, you drove away and were mean to too until they don't even want to ever see you again. You're one of the closest people to me as well as I am to you. You probably don't care if I cry or how broken I would be if you are going to leave me like you left everyone else. Soon, you're not going to have anyone when you grow up. Why do you want to be that way? Since I care about you and what happens to you, I ask you one more time if you really hate me and never want to see me again."
She ignored me and I ran away.
"I want to die." I cried out under a tree by my aunt's dog. (this was today at my aunt's house) **I was also very sad and being kind of dramatic. Tiny (my aunt's Jack Russel terrier) (her dog) Licked up my tears and comforted me. To me, I thought she never really cared about me. I supposed she was just waiting to drop me like an abused child. I went in the house to Julie. She was on the couch watvhing disney channel. (the tv wasn't that important) I jumped on the couch crying and hugged her really tight and told her everything. I didn't know she was going to but she told my mom, and scott, and my step sister's other sisters and brother. They all comforted me. I didn't really want them to comfort me but they did. Now I know how one of my best friends at school felt when she feels some days like I do. *bows* I understand you now. I always did, but now (my one friend) I understand you even better. It's like, all those icons and emo sayings of "I just want to be alone and (whatever verb or feeling)" When other people are in it, it's like you don't want them to worry about you because you don't want them to worry about your own problems. That gets them worried and they could use their time for something else-it's hard to explain. Harder to type. Yeah. This iz the end of part one.
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This iz A-Non-follower,
getting ready to suck it up like a big girl (that sounded so Huggies,)
signing off

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