myOtaku.com: abc kid

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1985-04-28
Gender
• Male
Location
• Texas
Member Since
• 2004-09-29
Occupation
• Student
Real Name
• Demeterius

Personal

Achievements
• Most Outstanding Acheivment, Texas Scholar Recommended
Anime Fan Since
• 1995 or 1996 and so on
Favorite Anime
• Gundam Wing, Tenchi Muyo, The Irresponsible Captain Tylor, FLCL, G Gundam, Cowboy Bebop, Digimon, The Slayers, G-Force, El Hazard
Goals
• Animation, Comic Illustrator
Hobbies
• Drawing, writing, playing video games, and wrestling
Talents
• Other than drawing, I've learned the bridge

myOtaku.com: abc kid

Thursday, February 24, 2005

M'kay, folks, where should we start?
I definitely had a better day today than I did yesterday. Perhaps it was due to me waking up at 4:00 am courtesy of a thunderstorm, or perhaps it was from reading several threads from members of the weforums. I don't really know why I felt so miserable, nor did I understand the distress within my heart. I really don't know. One would think I would complain about it, but I refused, because my pride went against any sign of openness.

Throughout some time in life, I endured loss. Basicially, I'm not referring to just physical loss, but the term loss period. Whether it was losing a best friend to suicide or my mother losing her apartment, the loss was there. There was also love missing within my heart, which was brought on by sometimes senseless arguments involving my mother and sister.

At the time, I tried to explain to anyone and anyone about the distress within, but it seems that everytime I wanted to take it out of my chest, the words just weren't there. No words, no action. Just silence. I could never explain it to my mother, because even if I did, she wouldn't understand. She probably would just take it the wrong way and believe that I just have a bad day.

I questioned whether or not life had any form of meaning, and at my age, I know that it is more than just a scripture in the Holy Bible. Sometimes I'm quiet by nature, yet I was still acceptable to my peers, several of whom truly understood me by personality. However, I always ask myself if I knew me. It is not as if I was suicidal (which by any means I'm not, trust me); I just couldn't put a finger on it. If I was brought here to this world I appropiately dubbed "life", what meaning does it have? Am I truly important to live in it? Who am I important to? I always ask that.

I wish to explain more about my mistroubles, but at the same time, I wish not to place anyone into sheer panic, esp. those of the myO community. I am just grateful to know I can live another day w/o compromise. Hopefully, you all may understand a portion of my distress, lingering in this world called "life".

P.S. I have just submitted a cool wallpaper into my collection. If anyone has a chance to check it out, you most certainly may.
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