myOtaku.com: abc kid

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1985-04-28
Gender
• Male
Location
• Texas
Member Since
• 2004-09-29
Occupation
• Student
Real Name
• Demeterius

Personal

Achievements
• Most Outstanding Acheivment, Texas Scholar Recommended
Anime Fan Since
• 1995 or 1996 and so on
Favorite Anime
• Gundam Wing, Tenchi Muyo, The Irresponsible Captain Tylor, FLCL, G Gundam, Cowboy Bebop, Digimon, The Slayers, G-Force, El Hazard
Goals
• Animation, Comic Illustrator
Hobbies
• Drawing, writing, playing video games, and wrestling
Talents
• Other than drawing, I've learned the bridge

myOtaku.com: abc kid

Sunday, April 24, 2005

The Great Deal of Emotional Dorment
I've been thinking a great deal lately. I always wonder when the next days in life would pass, what events would occur and how will the overall outcome will be. Not to say I am comptempating anything, but there is never a day when I don't think about who I am and who I want to be. It is as if my outlook on life is changing as every minute pass as the seconds before them.

I understand if one were to say if I was too wrapped up into my beliefs, which is needless to say because I have been before. I've always felt that way. Mainly, I usually am concerned w/ how people would perceive me as a person and as a human being. This is usually the case w/ my social life. I have a quiet nature, although it isn't in a shy-like manner. I just feel the need to be quiet at times whenever there is a conversation, but this sometimes prove to be very difficult for me to deal w/. Due to my quietness, the confidence seems to dim as I go through the day because I might want to know more about the person and see him/her as who they are. I mean, a friend would ask me about my interest and nothing more, when I feel to be the one who wished to ask the questions for hi/her.

Another thing that I have difficulty in life is the ability to enjoy the day and not having a care in the world. Every day, I would go through the day and wonder why different individuals behave the way they behave and then compare them to my own behavioral patterns. I would see the people around me to be either open about themselves, wanting to get attention or just going crazy for no reason at all. *sighs* I guess that I've always wished to be my own person who can identify w/ the next person, who can touch an individual or at least have that individual say that he/she knew me as such. This generally grows into a bigger dilemma than for what it is worth, really, plus it actually explains my inability to become more friendly towards people and certain groups; I doubt my own behavior toward them.

I don't know what to think. Either I am crazy or just a nut case for having such thoughts, but it is the way I am. I've always wanted to make sense out of the world around me, even if it means changing my life for the better in order to understand it. However, it seems difficult to live even though you try the best you can to live on. At least I feel that way.
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