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• abram panhead
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• 1986-04-13
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• 2003-12-04
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• musican/music student
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• wouldn't you like to know
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• recording a demo for my last band!
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• 1999
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• shin tenchi muyo/ outlaw star/ cowboy bebop/ inu-yasha/ tri-gun/ blue gender/ hellsing/ DBZ>/ naruto/lain/ etc.
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• become a pro bass player in a jpn band/ finish writing my FFVIII walk-through/ become like gackt
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• music, games
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Wednesday, September 8, 2004
hey, i'm sorry i didn't get to your guys sites today or yseterday. the internet was down here and so nobody on campus could get on.
i have a really not so great story for you all to hear and have pity on. you all pretty much know my special friend. not the one from the last post, but the other one. (are you following me here?) ok, well, thinks were going so-so between us. i mean, when you have 3 months between the times you see each other, things can only go so well, you know? ok, well i started to feel bad for her because she has got alot of things going on and she need someone there with her. she needs more then i can give right now, so i started to feel like i was leading her on and not giveing her what she diserves. i don't really know why i did this, but i decided to give her up for her own good. she'd be better of not being tied to me and getting somebody that could give her all she needs. ofter i said good bye, i lost it. i got so freaked out that i had given up the best thing that ever happened to me. i just started to run. i got outside, into one of the open fields (for like soccer and stuff) and i just exploded. i punched the ground until my fists bleed, i threw my self around, i was so mad. i didn't know why until later. i was mad because i was so scared. i relized i had made the dumbest mistake. i couldn't do it. i called her back the next day, and we worked it out. we dicided to see other people, but still be together. i'm not a jealous guy, so i can handle that a whole lot better then giveing her up totally. i guess i know what was right. i should let her go, but i can't be that unselfish. i need her more then that. so, the moral of this story is; when your in love, there might come a time when you have to do something for the other person that will hurt you more then you'll be able to deal with. don't rush into it. think about it and talk it out, or else you'll end up far worse then you started.
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