Wednesday, October 27, 2004

   computers...MUST...be...stopped!!!! 0_0
i hate my computer sooooooooo bad right now. i'm on my dad's computer cause mine has just...died. i don't know what's up with it but it's in its own little world now and hates everyone.../growl/ so yeah. i feel deprived of AIM and the chattiness that goes on there. oh well, less drama i suppose. people are gonna think i died probably. I HAVE NOT!

anyways....school still sucks bad. there was some drama in JROTC today and one person was stressed to tears almost. it was all grrr but Cassidy helped us sort it out kinda. yay for MSG CASSIDY!!! but yeah...i also just realized (it started friday night) that i really like this guy who's a good friend of mine (kt knows this...btw kt, you are the only one i told so feel COOL!)but it's kind of got me blah for reasons that are too numerous to explain. i was sitting in JRTOC today and guys that i used to flirt with or w/e made absolutely NO impression on me. it's like they didn't exist. i ignored almost everyone. i have problems, i know. and i'm now gonna get jumped by a senior for yelling at him cause he opened the door in my face, hehe. silly people. but i'm gonna go drink my hot chocolate which you do not have *points and laughs*
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Monday, October 25, 2004

   yay for boredom
been doing nothing all weekend and procrastinated my homework until today. but it's done now. we had the day off, yay! i've been watching the patriot, airforce one, and reign of fire. movie weekend! nothing at the theater i want to see right now, so meh. yesterday was my friend's b-day...HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETH!!! (aka Evil Twin) mwhaha! she be 16 now! yay! and my grandaddy FINALLY got home from the hospital today, so we can all rest a little easier knowing he got out of that mess. he had a rough time of it, stupid doctors!
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Sunday, October 24, 2004

   Casting Crowns
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours


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Saturday, October 23, 2004

   parteh!
yay! party was awesome, glad i decided to go (tx ktz) there was dancing and semi-drunkenness (not REALLY drunk, just sugar-high) all my "sistah" were there (except for holly) and so was JEW BOY!!! YAY! *cough* jesse, i'm never gonna be able to call him that...it just doesn't fit -_- they had a FIRE too! (yay for fire!) kt burnt the friggin marshmellows, as did many people. there was some Slipknot action going on, WOOHOO! /bangs head/ twas all quite awesome indeed until mom had to show up, so jen and i had to leave cause we were givin her a ride. but yeah, then i was tired and went to bed. good times...good times...



^MWHAHA^
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Friday, October 22, 2004

   CHRISTMAS
yay! Christmas isn't going to suck after all. mom says that Aunt Caroline and Uncle Dominic (family in California) are planning on comin' out here, and they're going to try to bring Elizabeth (cousin) with them. AND, hopefully *crosses fingers* they're going to talk Christopher into coming too. he's my cousin in the army who was in Iraq for a year and i haven't seen since i was, like, 5 or something like that. it's been a while. sooooo, i'm really hoping that'll work out since my brothers won't be coming home. Christmas was going to suck, but i think it's ok now.
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Thursday, October 21, 2004

   stressing out...
i woke up, got ready, and then my ride to school forgets to pick me up! /not a great way to start the day/ so 7:30 rolls around before we finally call the people...they're on the way to school. i have 25 minutes to get to school, it takes 20 to drive the distance, and my mom is all grr cause now the has to take me and that means being late for work AGAIN! cause she was late yesterday cause my brother forgot to wake himself up to take me yesterday and AHH! so i get there, have a test in civics, algebra 2 bored the crap outta me, Biology was actually cool cause we went to the library and stuff and i saw my friend Connor. JROTC was semi-cool, but we had to do work and have P.T. tomorrow. then i had to go to driver's ed, IT WAS THE LAST FRIGGIN DAY! YAYAYAYYAA! that was the best part of the day. except then, i had to come home to a crap load of homework which took me 2 hours, and even then i rushed through it. now i'm tired, angry (oh yeah, i also had a condom thrown at me which grossed me out cause it probably had STD's on it) and i want to kill someone. luckily there are no color guards this weekend...YAY! but i'll probably end up going to a halloween party tomorrow night if kt mentions it again and i feel like going anywhere. my grandaddy in the hospital is supposed to have a procedure done tomorrow so that'll be where dad it i guess. anyway, i have to go now, i'm gonna catch some zzz's. talk to you people later!

"Still, we have to keep trying and hoping. That's what's important?the trying and the hoping. Maybe that's most important of all."
-Tasslehoff Burrfoot, Dragons of Winter Night



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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Evanescence
I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more.
(So much more)
I'm dying,
And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal.

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved ?
Am I too lost ?
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

Do you remember me ?
Lost for so long.
Will you be on the other side ?
Will you forgive me ?

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.

Am I too lost to be saved ?
Am I too lost ?

My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

(Return to me salvation)
(I want to DIE!)

My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My God! My Tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

My wounds cry for the grave.
My soul cries, for deliverance.
Will I be denied ?
Christ! Tourniquet! My suicide.
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

   well, i'm not in that great of a mood :\ got into a couple of debates online last night about politics and such. someone suggested religious debate, and i knew as soon as they did that it was time to get pissy. it got me really upset b/c things like that make me doubt myself. they put down my positions until i feel so stupid and naive and then i ask questions and lost faith. faith is the only thing i have to keep me from going insane, and people try to rip it away from me. it's not fair and i hate them for it. then when i got home from a semi-good day at school and driver's ed, my grandaddy was in the hospital again. this also gets to me cause this is like, the 3rd time since school started and they keep sending him home like nothing's wrong. something HAS TO BE WRONG! friggin idiot doctors should be shot. so that's where my parents are now. it's just got me questioning myself again, and i hate not being sure of things.
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Sunday, October 17, 2004

   stole this...
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS

Part I: Anger
1. Who did you last get angry with? Someone from marching band?they really piss me off -_-

2. What is your weapon of choice? @@ FIRE!

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Hell yeah, damn idiots

4. How about of the same sex? If they piss me off, I?ll beat the shzzt out of em

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Probably?a marching band person?but does it really look like I care? Z_Z

6. What is your pet peeve? People who say they are your friends then abandon you when ya got a problem

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I hold grudges a looooong time?unless it?s just stupid

Part II: Sloth
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Read my bible /gets hit by lightning/

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? Probably about 1 in ze afternoon

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: Rachel!! I haven?t even gotten her a b-day present yet 0_0 woops!

4. What is the last lame excuse you made? I?don?t remember

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? yup, don?t ask why!

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? last time I did P.T. we ran 2 miles

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? I didn?t hit snooze, I just turned it all off and got back in bed until mommy came to get me

Part III: Gluttony
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? DEW!

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? White meat buddy!

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? Well?this one time?my friends had a little get-together?and?uhh?I didn?t drink, so :P

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? Nah, I ain?t that desperate

5. Do you have an issue with your weight? Yah, but everyone says I need to shutup cause I ain?t fat

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Gimme some of that sweet stuff?

7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"? MWHAHA!

Part IV: Lust
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? *shifts eyes nervously*

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? Hopefully none, but I?ve always had that feeling of being watched

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? /tries this/ AH! MY EYES! IT BURNS!

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Eyes, they hypnotize me

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? They are all over me yo?nah, jk

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? No, but that sounds like fun, as long as the answer is NEGATIVE!

Part V: Greed
1. How many credit cards do you own? None L

2. What's your guilty pleasure store(s)? suncoast, sam goody?s, spencer?s is cool too

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Go to SCOTLAND!!!! YAY!

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich, I don?t give a rat?s a$$ about fame

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Sure, why not /shrugs/

6. Have you ever stolen anything? Yes?but I won?t tell you what it was

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? None, my computer ate them

1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? I survived Camp Carolina, YAY!

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? They were pretty proud when I was baptized I think, they always raised me to be a good Christian

3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? Get the hell out of this fcking country

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Only if the 1st place person makes a big deal out of it in my face

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? I don?t like to think I?m better than everyone else, but I do think I could have done better on the super sergeants board

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Pfft, yeah, all the time

7. What did you do today that you're proud of? I went to church

Part VII: Envy
1. What feature of your friends would you most want to have for your own? to feel loved by someone and know that there is someone who will stand by me always, I don?t have that anymore, at least not in my friends

2. Are you jealous of any one in your family? Charlie, he has a good job, is far away from here, has cool friends, his own apartment and his own truck

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? I hate everyone

4. Have you ever been cheated on? Probably, just didn?t know it

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? sure, at times

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? To be more outgoing

7. What do you want, but know you will never have? Lots of things, money among them

THE SEVEN HEAVENLY VIRTUES

Part I: Faith
1. What religion do you follow? I?m a Christian!

2. What religion were you raised as? Southern baptist

3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? human

4. Do you believe in magic? I?d like to think it?s out there

5. What was the last promise you broke? I?m sure it was something recent?/thinks/

6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? Yah /goes to hell/

7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? Not unless they can walk on water K

Part II: Hope
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? Pretty close, but I don?t recall asking for much

2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? Go to college, maybe get married (no kids!) travel the world, have a good job?just be happy, then die

3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? Oooh yeah, and it failed too. I was pissy

4. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? Nope, but dad did and won $5

5. Do you gamble? Not seriously, and I usually lose

6. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway? Such as??

Part III: Charity
1. What causes do you support? Helping the poor kids in other countries who don?t have anything

2. What causes have you given money or time to? None? /is struck by lightning again/ damnit!

3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless? Er?no?/dodges lightning/

4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel-inherent worldwide charity group? Sure, I get to TRAVEL!

5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? I ain?t got no money, but I gave them my pizza once!

6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food? I ain?t got nothing to give em

7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need? Talk to them and try to calm them down when their upset. I like to give them a shoulder to cry on, but honestly, not many people come to me for help

Part IV: Fortitude
1. What are you most afraid of? Being raped 0_0

2. What did you do today that was really brave? Hmm?I shall get back to you on another day

3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why? I have no idea, seriously

4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? If it was family or one of my BEST friends

5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? More courage, I don?t need to be smart or fall in love

6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? yah I hate big crowds of people

7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower? I can do both when times call for it

Part V: Justice
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? Nope, waste of time if ya ask me, and you did ask me, loser!

2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would you find away out of it? HELL NO! MY ARSE IS OUT OF HERE IF THEY TRY THAT SH*T!

3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)? If they murdered someone on purpose, ok

4. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? Nope, damn electoral college screwed it all up, Gore had the popular vote! Fcking republicans

5. What was your favorite media circus trial? Wha?

6. Have you ever written a letter to a politician? I?m gonna write one that cusses out Bush

Part VI: Temperence
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? Work and food

2. Do you collect anything? Horses!!! YAY! (not real horses) and posters J

3. Are you addicted to anything? DEW!!!!!!!

4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan? Uhh sure?

5. What's your preferred method of paying for things? Money my parents give me

6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do: I?d tell you but then I?d get all depressed again and you don?t want me that way, so next question!

7. Do you feel that you obsess over things? Sometimes, if I feel it?s important

Part VII: Prudence

1. Who is the wisest person you know? My bro

2. Have you ever participated in a vigil? /hides/

3. Do you take advice when it's given? If I think it sounds good

4. What area are you wisest in? annoying people

5. Do you drive defensively? Nope, I drive offensively! TACKLE BABEH!

6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage? Nah, I have my virginity

7. What did you learn today? That I have no life?wait, nvm, I knew this already :\

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Saturday, October 16, 2004

   Dedicated to JEW BOY!!!!
Take the quiz: "ARE U A JEW?"

UR A JEW!
HAHAHAAHHAHAH.........JEW,JEW,JEW,JEW,JEW....UR A JEW! CONGRATS! NOW U CAN GET A SHITLOAD OF MONEY FROM UR BAHMITSHFA


p.s. I'm not a jew -_-
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