Friday, April 22, 2005

   School Grading System
Its not fair that you get 60 percentages to make an F, but only 10 to make an A. I f it was fair, a 0-19% would be F, 20-39% would be D, we skip poor old E who never did nothing to us, 40-59% would be C, B would be 60-79, and A would be 80 and up.They wouldn't even be A B C D F, thats to morally stressful, they would be good, great, awesome, excellent, and super-dee-duper (because we should all integrate some more Barney into our lives). I think on Monday, we should say were part of a new group called SAID, Students Against Intellectual Discrimination, and say we refuse to be judged merely on our intellectual capacity, but by our character and moral values. That'll teach those pesky teachers.
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Thursday, April 14, 2005

   Rat Race
Chased by no one
Persuaded by nothing
I run
Dash to the left
Dead end
Rear backwards
Dead end

Panicked and fearful
Lost in this maze
Panting
Surrounded by others
Running
Searching frantically
Running

I stop in my place
There is a low place
The wall
It shallows
I see
It lowers
I see

I peer above the wall
And see the alarming truth
No cheese
At the end of the maze
Nothing
Any redemption
Nothing

I tell the others
There is no compensation
They jeer
They hiss at me
"You lie"
They sneer at me
"You lie"

Now I sity in an alcove
Looking about the maze
Philosophically
Its reason
Not found
Its purpose
Not found


The beginning of aa bad poetry streak. Once again a surprise to any who can tell me what it's about.

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Monday, April 11, 2005

   Farmer Grey
I lean upon this fencepost
Old and damaged as Farmer Grey
And trace his motions
Like a pendulum
In his old withered rocker
Like this post

He calls for me to come
And I respond rerluctantly
His eyes somwhat glazed
As he speaks
His voice raspy as he tells me
His melonchaly tale

"Every month a truck arrives
Taking taxes of what little I own
And the feds can tell me
What I can grow
And what I cannot grow
Upon my own land

"And many years past
People came and corraled my land
Limiting what small space
I have to plant
Still yet I remain calm
And silent

"But every few years
I will go to market and trade crops
With the other farmers
And recieve
The foods I need
But can't grow

"In whole, my farm
Now so small and suffering
Has been diminished
By others
Who seem to think
They own me...

And I sat there
Listened to his misery
Looked at him
His eyes
Filled with tears
And I wept


Theres my second decent pome, anyone who can figure out what its really about; it's not about a farmers land.
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Friday, April 1, 2005

   Higglytown Heroes II: The Backyardigans
Here is the long awaited sequel to my previous post. today i will be informing the masses about the childrens series 'The Backyardigans'. This show revolves around four animals who share a big backyard (maybe they're to poor to each afford one?). Pablo is a blue punguin with a propeller hat and bowtie; Austin is a purple kangaroo with a sky blue and yellow striped shirt and navy blue pants; Tyrone is an orange moose wearing a red and blue shirt; Tasha is a yellow hippo with a floral mumu; and finally, Uniqua is a magenta colored indistinguishable creature(hence the name) with pink polka dots and antenae(I'm not sure if she even wears clothes). But, those are the characters. The shows pretty much involves them playing make-believe in their yards.

The show starts with the singing of the Backyardigans theme song, which goes like:
"And we're,
Your backyard friends, The Backyardigans
Together with The Backyardigans
In the place where we belong
Where we'll probably sing a song
And we'll maybe dance along
We've got the whole wide world in our yard to explore
We've always find things we've never seen before
That's why everyday we're back for more
With your friends, The Backyardigans".

Then from there, they proceed to some small song. I will follow the course of an episode where Tasha becomes Princess Cleotasha, ruler of Egypt. After the fruity theme song, Tasha comes out and says "I'm Princess Cleotasha" then begins to sing some song about how she "loves being a princess". All of a sudden, we're in ancient Egypt and she's wearing a necklace and some hat thing and doing their generic dance where they sway from side to side and once in a while to a ballerina twirl. Soon, she decides to call upon her servants Pablo, Tyrone, and Austin. She asks them for various fanning and nourishment. These servants, though loyal, complain to each other how "The bad thing about Princess Cleotasha is that she never says please","Or thank you...".She asks servant Austin for a glass of water, only to find that the Nile River dried up(at the moment we're putting aside the fact that it is the longest river in the world and it emptoes into Lake Victoria, a considerably large lake). Servant Austin says the only way to bring back the river is to find the Sphinx and ask her the secret of the Nile. But the Sphinx does not merely GIVE away the secret, oh no, she needs three presents.

The first present is the Jewel of the Waters, kept in the Hidden Pyramid. So they set of, Cleotasha on horseback, to find the Hidden Pyramid, singing the second of five songs in this 25 minute show. The subject of this one is how they need 3 presents for the Sphinx. They get to the Pyramids and they need to find the Hidden Pyramid. Cleotasha sits on a rock and tells servant Tyrone to fan her. He does so and leans on the air; everone asks "How are you doing that?!?!". They find out he was leaning on the Hidden Pyramid, which is called that because its invisible(though I could swear as they came to the pyramids they walked/rode right through it...). They open it but the Princess is reluctant, "I'm not going in there by myself!", so Tyrone agrees to accompany her. The two get inside and see four jewels. "Oh!!This would go great with my dress!!", but servant Tyrone intervenes, "No Princess!! You muust only take the Jewel of the Waters, or all will be lost!!"(All what?!?! Their dignity, sanity, ability to dance, chance in society, or non-faggotyness? Thats all gone all ready!) Back to Cleotasha, "Which one could be the right one...". Tyrone drops a helluva hint towards one. "Look! I found the Jewel! You hold it servant Tyrone.". They go back out and the servants have a conference, "did you help Cleotasha find the jewel?", "Yup, but you know the Princess", "She never says please.", "Or thank you.".

Now the Princess sings the next song "I want my river back, I want my river back...(need I say more?)", then back to, "We need 2 more presents for the Sphinx".

Next on the agenda is the yellow lotus flowerand the go through the same skit. Cleotasha won't go by herself, Pablo goes with her, only the yellow flower or all will be lost, he finds it for her, no please or thank you. Now they sing that they need one more present etc. etc. Finally, they go to the Secret Oasis that just happens to only appear exactly when they get there. They need water from the oasis and servant Austin "helps" get the water with a huge cup he happens to have in his back pocket. But Cleotasha can't drink the water or, claaaass? Thats right, all will be lost. but Cleotasha never says please, or thank you.

They find the Sphinx, who just happens to be Uniqua, and give her the three presents. "Did you find these gifts all by your self?", "No Sphinx, my servants helped some.", "Did you say please or thank you?", "Well, no, but O great Sphinx, what is the secret of the Nile?", "The secret of the Nile is(just guess)please and thank you!" So she says thank you to the servants for helping her find the three presents and all the other stuff they did, and the River magically appears!! Then guess what happens, they sing how
"Please and thank you are the secret of the Nile".

Then Princess Cleotasha asks Austuin for something to eat. He responds "We can eat a snack at my house, we're having cheese and crackers!". Then Egypt dissapears and they rush into a house and then those word things go down the screen and Uniqua shows us how to do a tango.

There
The long awaited sequel, hope you get a good laugh.



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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

   Higglytown Heroes
I am now completely convinced that childrens television is completely retarded, you should hear some of the CRAP they're loadin' into kids heads...
So my five-year-old sister is watching Playhouse Disney and some stupid music video for the theme song to this TV show Higglytown Heroes. It said at the end of the video "Somthing-or-other; They Might Be Giants; Blah blah blah", and I'm like "Cool, my mom used to listen to them and they do a bunch of stuff for Homestarrunner.com. The theme song can't be THAT bad. I'll actually sit through the show, mainly to make fun of it, and find out if it's really sung by They Might Be giants(I realize now I could have just looked it up online; SOMEONE has to have so little of a life they'd actually post that on a site...). Anyways, the show is based in this wierd town called, you guessed it, Higglytown. It's filled with obscure shaped houses and all its inhabitants are people(and squirrels) that resemble those russian dolls that open up at the waist and stack up inside each other. Thats really pretty creepy in itself considering that they're living, breathing people that have absolutely EVERYTHING inside their hollow bodies, even being able to hide in one another. There are these five main characters, four children named Eubie, Wayne, Twinkle, and Kip, and a squirrel named Fran. Eubie's like, 14 and he has a high, squeaky voice and Kip, like 8, has a deep voice(they must each have some kind of gland disorder). Fran has a voice like the secretary lady from Ferris Beauller's Day Off(saying "Dontcha know." a lot). Every episode they encounter some prblem and need the help of an everyday hero(a HIGGLYTOWN HERO!!!, they even have a fricken song, Wayne:"Someone special, who could it be?", Twinkle:"This job's too big for you and me.", Fran:"We need some help", Kip:"But never fear-o!", Eubie:"It looks like a jooob, for a Higglytown Hero", all:"A Higglytown Hero", then the particular hero sings a song 'bout what they do)and they always seem to get some help from Pizza Guy, a pizza delivery man who has a scooter, helicopter, motor boat, etc.... So in this particular episode, Kips mom is sick and they decide to sing a song about what their various relatives do for them when they're sick. So Kip and his friends decide to make her a get well card. They draw a picture of his house and thay start to make a tree but, OH NO!!!, no green paint!! Without green paint, you can't paint the leaves; without the leaves, they can't make monkeys, and what would a get well card be without monkeys!?!?!First, Twinkle suggests that they get a band of astronaut bunnies to go to the moon, which everyone knows is made of green cheese, and bring back some cheese. They then turn the cheese into paint somehow and paint the trees. But everyone soon decides it's a job for a Higglytown hero. A painter, stereotypically French of course, comes and tells them how to make green from blue and yellow. They can then make the card and give it to Kips mom, monkeys and all. Aawwwww...I'm gonna die laughing...

If you want to hear more about the Higglytown heroes, including Acorn Day polka, A garden gnome sitting on a blanket at the beach, and a stuffed Tarzan wannabe skunk named Jungle Skunk, then comment this entry and I'll post another on this topic.

You can't make this stuff up. If you want to see it for yourself, its on playhouse disney at 8:00 am weekdays.

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Monday, March 21, 2005

   BE WARNED:If you are religious and are offended by the questioning of God or your
Tonight I had a conversation with my friend about humanity. I have discovered that God, Heaven, Hell. They're all creations by man hisself due to his evolved brain. He now feels significant, and a bit arrogant, feeling like he serves a purpose. That he is far superior to all other lifeforms that aren't humans:animals. He CANNOT have simply become a random happening on a lone planet, he must serve a purpose. So man created God, he served as he who created all that is, made man as a model of hisself. Anyone who has read the book by the great Issac Asimov, "I,Robot", knows of the story of a robot who's so advanced, he decides that he was not merely thrown together by these barbaric humans. That a supreme being "programmed" the humans to eventually create a better lifeform, the robot being one of course. Yet htere are those who respond "Yeah but how did Earth come about having life? It has the perfect conditions:If there was less than 1% more oxygen in the air, we'd burst into flames. Less than 1% less, we'd suffocate. If Earth was a mile closer to the sun, it would be too hot to support life. A mile farther away, we'd be frozen. But think of this, if you have a bag with QUADRILLIONS (1,000,000,000,000,000) of marbles in it, and you had a bucket in the distance, then you were blindfolded; if you were to throw the marbles out, would you not eventually get one or two marbles in the bucket? IF WE WERE ONE OF THE OTHER MARBLES, WE WOULDN'T BE TALKIN' BY NOW. We are on the single marble. The one that landed in the bucket. You say "How could we get THAT lucky?" Well, if Earth wasn't that lucky, we'd be talking about the same thing on a planet that was.
All that humans hold to value has been fabricated by them themselves. WE decided that the best way to win a fight was with the killing of others. Thats not am instinct; humans have very few instincts. WE decided that killing was bad, not a supreme god. WE invented Easter and Christamas. WE decided that god created us.

WE decided we were special.

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Monday, March 14, 2005

   The Acrobats
The acrobats sway and bound
Chaotically
Yet controlled and graceful
My eyes darting to trail their agile motions
Hypnotically
Drawing me in

My mind strains
Searching
Looking for their passion
The justification for their alluring dance
Wondering
Burrowing deeper

I search in vain
Knowing
Realizing they are mere puppets
Following the ringmasters every command
Blindly
So ignorantly

My hate swells
Building
I storm from the stadium
Bursting down the beaten path leading from the lone structure
Panting
Brimming with hate

I wait in darkness
Distraught
Engulfed in those who obey
Perpetually following the whims of those in power
Stupidly
Their own judgment vanished

I return to the auditorium
Reluctantly
Deserted for years past
The walls crumbling as I survey the grounds
Remembering
Going back

The acrobats sway and bound
Chaotically
Yet controlled and graceful
My eyes darting to trail their agile motions
Hypnotically
Drawing me in







My newest/only-good poem
You can rate it here(not a link): www.ratemypoem.co.uk/index.aspx?poem=1148
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Thursday, March 10, 2005

   Hot Stuff
Well. I have'nt updated in a looong time so, um, Oh! Okay,, A friend of mine drew an anime picture of me. It depicted me with mid-lengh bright orange hair and black jeans, a black undershirt, and a black shirt with colored flames on it. Apparently while at a church youth group, a couple of girls were huddled around it saying "God he'ed be hot if he were real!", so my friend told them who I was. Those of them who knew me were like "Oh, I wanna go out with him right now!", and "Is he single?" Or mybe they just said "Eeeewww! THATS Patrick?" But hey, I can dream right? Anywho, it's always been a dream of mine to be kidnapped by a horde of fanatic girls. I'm single. Hear that: IF YOU ARE A HOT GIRL IN THE CARROLWOOD-TAMPA BAY AREA, AREA CODE 33618, OR GOING TO ADAMS MIDDLE SCHOOL, OR ARE AN 8TH GRADER IN THAT GENERAL VICINITY, LOOK FOR PATRICK PATERSON A.K.A. SORA, A.K.A. INUYASHA, A.K.A FLOATING BOY. I'M V-E-R-Y AVAILABLE. Visit my friend who drew my anime caricature. Ask her about it. Her site is ShikyoKasu.
I'm hot.
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Thursday, February 24, 2005

T-shirt
MY GOD. t-shirt companies are so retarded. All right: my shool orchestra ordered t-shirts to wear on Fridays(to wear to break the monotonous donning of uniforms)and we could customize them so that they looked like sports jerseys(name and number). So I decided to make mine say "ABYSS OF DESPAIR",obviously,and somehow from that they got "ABYSS OF DESPALI"! How? So now, all tommorrow, People are gonna be asking me "hey, whats despali? Some kid of lamo yu-gi-oh card! ha. ha. ha." Retards.
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Friday, February 11, 2005

February 11
AHAHA! Today on the bus was like, best ever. These two girls from I-don't-know-where kcked me out of my seat, so I showed them! Ten grueling minutes of pain and suffering for them, as well as pretty much everyone else onthe bus. I was all like,"I know your type, you're all 'I'm better than you', but you're not!"
And they're all like,"Confused?"
And then I'm all like,"You, you don't know what it's like to be me. I...I got the heart of a champion, the spirit of a fighter! You, you can't relate. I can relate!"
And they're all like,"Huh?"
And I'm all like,"Burn!! You got told! Straight up; you betta realize girlfriend!"(snapping strangly in front of my face),"I'm gonna go over there and give you a piece of me! You're gonna get a piece of me; you are."
And then we got to they're stop, and they started to leave. So I'm all like,"You betta run!"
That'll teachum. Obnoxious 7th graders...
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