Sunday, May 29, 2005

   Why I Hate Resumes
The topic of today's post will be on why I thoroughly abhor resumes: Those glittery, hype-infested scraps of paper job-seekers dole out by the dozen. Overall, I’m going to argue that the act of writing and editing a resume is a dangerous and self-abusive one. I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while now and finally wish to publish my thoughts.

So let’s begin.

When a person is in the act of writing a resume, they are effectively bifurcating themselves into two entities: The resume writer and the person being written about (let's call the latter "the product-person").

The resume writer has one purpose: to spin and to mold the product-person into a perfect fit for a given audience. To accomplish this, the resume writer must critically analyze the product-person through the eyes of an expected target audience.

Now, who here likes to be judged? It’s an obnoxious experience and writing a resume forces constant self-judgment on every single thing you’ve done. And it’s not just once, a good resume writer will write a different resume for each and every job they apply.

It’s painful.

Let’s say Susan worked at Burger King for one year as a cashier. She’s applying to work at IBM. Will she include her bout at BK on her resume? It really depends on her other qualifications.

If after BK she interned at Intel, she would probably not. She wants IBM only to see her as an engineering professional, not as a food services employee. However, if she had no other work experience, she’d probably try to spin her time at BK to emphasize the more universal things she’s learned. She’d write something like this:

“Cashier, Burger King. Trained in providing superior customer service. Received “Employee of the Month” distinction four times. Had a perfect attendance record. Supervised assistant cashier.”

The point is, she’s forced to place a value judgment on her life’s various paths and forced to edit or spin them for someone else’s consumption. And, after facing imagined rejection dozens of times before finally submitting a polished resume, she no doubt must experience the agony of real rejection.

But this is far from the biggest problem…

The biggest problem is when people become “proactive” resume writers. In this case, the resume writer becomes a puppeteer and the product-person becomes the puppet. I’ve always felt a natural disdain for people who fall into this trap. You know the type.

These people look at life as simply the material to fill out a resume. They join clubs because it “looks good,” take jobs because they “sound prestigious,” or pursue hobbies because they make them “unique” or “well-rounded.”

While this may lead to short-term successes, it carries grave risks in the long-term. If you sell your soul for something and then fail to get it, what’s left? People should live their own lives, not the lives that other people want them to lead.

It all reminds me of “Crime and Punishment,” that famous Russian novel. In it, the central character desires greatness, so he acts like he perceives a great person should act. However, he soon realizes that great people act a certain way because it’s in their personality, not because they’re trying to mimic someone else.

To disclaim though, I absolutely don’t advocate a complete bottom-up approach of blindly pursuing interests and emotions. This can lead to unemployment, under-appreciation, psychological problems, and so on. That’s a whole other blog post.

For now, I just wanted to complain a bit about resumes, not provide any alternatives, advice, or guidance in any way. I’ve had to write a *lot* of resumes these past few months. And I hate, hate, hate doing it.
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