Monday, May 30, 2005

   Two more poems...
Fake Reality
Naught to fear.
Nothing to be.
The way I feel,
It’s melancholy.

Can you understand?
Grasp what it is I’m saying?
I’ll only say it once,
So I hope you’re listening.

This loneliness eats me,
It leaves me unloved.
It cuts me deeper,
Than any physical blade.

You see I’m here,
Do you know why?
You seem perplexed.
Here goes, one more try:

Depression holds me,
Its icy clutch tight.
It’s slowly choking me,
I fear and loath it so.

There’s nothing I can do,
And nothing more to say.
You’ve left me, you know.
You’ve left me here alone.

Desire to be held is wrought,
Of fine emotions tied,
Threads strung together,
To withstand the sands of time.

Here is how I see it,
This fragile bond that once was,
It’s fading fast right now.
Will it be whole again?

Can it be repaired,
And be what it once was?
Or is this all a dream,
Some sort of fake reality?

__________________________________

Let It Burn

You can’t stop it.
It tears me up within.
If you want to know,
I’ll show what I can.

This searing pain,
Cuts me quick.
It festers constantly.
Ever growing.

This swell of emotion,
Flames rising.
Passion, depression.
Let it burn.

Everything simmers.
I’ll let you take a look.
Can I scorch you?
Do you see inside [of me]?

This constant crest,
Complex yet so simple.
It’s driving me
I fear I shan’t stop.

This swell of emotion,
Flames rising.
Anger, desperation.
Let it burn.

Burning me, I
Feel it always.
Shouting, crying,
Bleeding internally.

Emotional blood,
White hot and ice cold.
Struggle to break free.
Never ceasing.

This swell of emotion.
Flames rising
Uncontrollable, unstoppable.
Let it burn.

__________________________________

Yep...that's all for today... No such speaking about how it's gone just yet... I'll put something up when I get home.
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Thursday, May 26, 2005

   Oddly enough...I feel...happy.
Time: 11:30am
Position: School computer lab, working on English and other tid-bits.
Results? Yep, been getting some good articles on plane crashes (reading Alive).


Yes, yes... Though you'd never believe that only two nights ago I was hit with a bout of depression. This is a result of that depression:

Breaking Me

Don’t you know?
Can’t you see?
Every slight shove,
Every small refusal…
It’s breaking me.
(Breaking me)

Why do you push me (away)?
I don’t see why.
But I know I feel.
Every crack, every splinter,
And it’s killin’ me.

Have you felt pain this deep?
Know that it’s there to stay.
It’s with me now,
But I can’t say,
That it’s hurting me.

Simple affection, heartfelt words,
Don’t last when I’m alone.
So hold me close,
Don’t let me fall.
Please, love me.

I’m safe for now,
Until the time comes,
That you do this again.
You distance yourself (from me).
It shatters me.

Don’t you know?
Can’t you see?
Every simple shove,
Every small refusal…
It’s breaking me.
(Breaking me)


Yep, completely mine. Nifty, eh? Personally, I don't think it flows too well...

Well, I should continue on with my English. Hopefully I'll post more tonight.
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Tuesday, January 18, 2005

   ...subject?
Today was a great day. /sarcasm.

Won’t be ranting in this journal too long, as alas, I do not have much time to spare. I know, I should have seen it coming...my cat has been sick for around two weeks. This morning, picking up one of the people on the bus, the driver ran over one of her kittens. -fumes- But then I’ve got to think of what it—Veering sharply away from that. I knew that it was more or less a sign. So, I’ll be skittering off to say my last good-bye to her tonight... It’ll be better for her, I know...but if anyone says or types it, I just might do something I’d most definitely regret.

-slides off to make supper and keep her thoughts distracted-

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