Tuesday, June 14, 2005

   Hey.
Hey everyone, I'm making this post actually short...

Went to Aarons O.o swam...got a little burnt, on my back, but it doesn't hurt...so it's all good.

Came home, relaxed on the comp. I found out from Mom there is a staff meeting on Thursay, doing some last minute cleaning, and orientation type things...

I'm trying to my license later today! I finished reading the book, and I think I'm pretty damn good to go...I hope. I also practiced my signature in cursive for it...It sucks, but hopefully it's good enough...

I was browing MySpace members and found some cool people. One was from Grampian, her name was Steffanie Lynne DuFour, I believe...We talked for a while and had some really cool conversations. ^^

I really hope I get my permit! I don't wanna fail! Wish me luck please! Lol.


Take care all,
-Ryan.
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Monday, June 13, 2005

   Posting?.....Lol.
Making this post quick.

Well, I didn't do much today. Went to aarons for a while. Geno FUCKING WOKE ME UP AT NOON..(I know, don't say a thing.) TO BURN HIM A DAMN CD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The little fucking prick...Next time he does that I'm gonna punch him as hard as possibly with my damn knuckles on his shoulder...>
Now that I've vented a -little- anger...

I haven't talked to Danielle today, or yesterday either..I think. O.o Not sure...but not day, I know that...I wonder if she started her camps...hell, she's going to like 3 of them. Lol...Ah well..I'll talk to her eventually. ^^

Talked to Stephanie a bit today. We had an awesome conversation. O.o Which was shweet, as always. Lol. She put down "Godo xanga buddy." I was like :: raises eyebrow:: Lol. I think she mean 'Good.' but yeah...s'all good...But Xanga buddy? SHES SEEN ME IN PERSON O.o WHAT THE HELL! Lol. I didn't QUITE Get that, but maybe 'cause we didn't actually 'Talk.' in person..ah well whatever. Lol

Well hm...I guess that's it..no real plans for tomorrow...Take a shower and a crap. ^^ That's it. Lol! Probably go over to Aarons, which seems to be coming a usual thing..which is good...'cause I'm getting out more..and stuff...but he sorta pissed me off...I was at the park with Chad, shooting some hoops when Aaron up and leaves with Ryan( A different one, of course.) so I'm like.."You bastard...-.-..." I HATE it when people freaking do that crap...that's one of the reasons I stopped going over there, and doing things with him. -.-;; Meh...mofo better have a -DAMN- good exuse...meh.

Besides that, Theo and I got into a little bit of a fight...I insulted his poetry, not really meaning too...just sorta did...and he got upset and blocked me...after a WHILE of bullshit, we apologized O.o and it was all good...so thats good, definitely...didn't wanna lose him as a friend. He said that my apology nearly made him cry...Heh...Kinda sweet. XD Lol...Poor guy...I felt a bit bad..but oh well...shit happens..<.>;;

Take care all,
-Ryan.
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Sunday, June 12, 2005

   Meh.
Well, today was alright..I mostly just spent it with Aaron, which was fun for the most part...We just hung out, and went to Chrome At The Dome, which was a biker festival type deal...yeah...it was alright...nothing too special...

I've been thinking lately, and Iono...I guess...:: Sigh :: Well, here we go...

As far as Danielle is concerned, she's a great friend and person..and I've been thinking about whether her and I should even go out...It isn't that I don't like her...but she acts differently around me then other people and guys she knows...I don't get it...I don't...I really honestly don't understand that...I wish I did! Then maybe...Iono..::Sigh:: Maybe I'm just being stupid...about something...gah, hell I don't even know.

Anyways...On another note, I'm taking my permit test on Tuesday. Gonna need to read that stupid book...but I suppose it's worth it...Lol. Aaron lets me drive his car. XD It's fun..>.>;; Shh, I didn't say that though. :P

Anyways..that's it for this little post.

Take care,
-Ryan.
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Friday, June 3, 2005

   Hm.
Hm, only two people commented? Jeez, thats rather sad...
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Thursday, June 2, 2005

   ::Nods nods...::
Thank you demonic archangel, for the comment...it made me feel a little better. ^^

Well, nothing to post today since...well no one cares. XD If you want me to continue with how I normally post, comment about it and we'll see. :p
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Wednesday, June 1, 2005

   Yeah? Well fuck you too...
It seems to me that no one really gives a God damn about what I have to say because, evidently all I do is 'Moan' about girls...That isn't my intention, I try to add more then that...But whatever.

And as well, I must be rather confusing you people, because what I say and what I mean to say are two differnet things. Let me set it straight for you, to the people who don't understand what I'm meaning to say when I post.

Now, when I posted around talking to Danielle, Stephanie, Hollie, etc...I never implied I liked them, or anything. I like Jackie and Danielle, the thing with Jackie won't work out because I suck with long distance relationships, and I KNOW I've made that evident before. It doesn't mean I don't find her likeable, or anything, 'cause I do, but it just won't, and can't be, and I'm a bit sorry for that...because she really is a great person.

On another note, what is it with you people? I don't hurt people intentionally! I speak my mind, and say things I feel at the moment! Why are you guys throwing earnesty in my face?! Like its a BAD thing! Is it WRONG that I speak earnesly?! From the heart and soul?! With emotion and pure intention! Rather then being numb, and not caring, and not giving a shit, and lying, and being a fradulent little miscomprehending idiot?! Sorry, but if thats what you want to believe I am, FUCK YOU!

Now that thats out, I'm fuckin' out,. -.-;; Ya'll can screw yourselfs if you choose to think negatively on me. And for those who don't, I apologize for this post. -.-
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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

...Ahem..
Ok, on the last entry someone posted under the name "Jakemorgan" and this post goes to, that little bastard.

First off, I've rarely, if ever, gotten mad at Jackie...Jackie doesn't anger me...While it doesn't take TOO much to anger me, stupidity does more then anything, and she isn't stupid.

I don't know who you are, but you made that account soley to bash me..it seems, because you don't even have your site setup, yet you're in my comments...Ahem...

Well then, besides that...Everythings..bleak. ^^

Nothing much to say really, just that. And I met a cool girl who lives a town or so away named Stephanie, she seems pretty cool and goes to crossroads...I'll probably get to meet her. ^^ Sounds fun.

Well, besides that I also met a girl named Hollie...very depressed lonely girl..I feel bad for her...we got into a few 'rows' today as jackie would say, but we quickly recovered...Poor girl is 18 and her parents treat her like shes my age...Hah...Oh well...I hope all goes well with her..and her parents stop acting like asses...

Take care all..~~~
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Monday, May 30, 2005

   ...
Well, I've realized I'm a bloody fucking idiot for what I wrote in Jackies comments...which was basically saying everything I said yesterday about her in this post and more..V.V

Well evidently her friend Phil likes her, and...I'm not going to compete...I don't want too, and I realized something else...

I can't be with her, damn it. As much as I care about her, and everything...she isn't HERE...I suck with long distance, I do...Why? Because...I end up feeling useless when I can't help with a hug, or something. And...I dunno, I just don't handle it well. And I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! want our relationship hurt because of this..I want it to stay how it is forever. I'd perfer it...As long as she doesn't mind me getting a bit jealous of whoevers shes with, I'm fine...

Sorry if I upset you Jackie...you know I never want too.

Well thats it for this post, later all.
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   A realization.
Hey everyone, I got some good news...I think?

Well, I realized something...today, well just a few minutes ago...I think I might have known it before but was admited to admit it, but hey..thats how it goes sometimes, ya know?

I realize I am in love...with who? Well Jackie Maree! Oh and..hehe...I feel a bit stupid about it, but she lives in CT, not OK...Hehe...oops? >_> Yes well, she said in Her Otak that she likes me too...If it wasn't 6:24 AM, and I hadn't had similar thoughts, if not knowings about her liking me, I would be grinning from ear to ear like a stupid git. :P

I love the connection we have...We can talk about anything, and be stupid, and be silly, and laugh, and have so much fun in such a simple way...I know that I need her in my life, however it may be...I can't wait for to see the comment I left her on MyO Revealing all this..Hehe...Its a silly way, maybe even stupid, but I like suprising people like that...in odd ways, makes it more..suprising. :P

Well, I'm in love with the magnificent Jackie Maree. Astonishing, really...I remember I liked her quite a while ago too, but it wasn't so bad...She liked Parker then, I think...but hey, whatever! Lol its all good.

Only a few things stand in the way of her and I really...and that would be her Dad...As I hear, hes very over-protective, and I doubt he'll let me call her...I have to call her if I want anything to possibly work...Thats just how I am with long distance relationships, I can't have just text...but a voice is better.

Is that wrong of me? I hope not...

I really care for her guys, I do...I earnestly do...She has my heart, what she does with it, is hers. ^^

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Sunday, May 29, 2005

   Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh..
Well...Life as it normally is, is confusing as FUCK! What can I really expect, though..

Oh well, haha, thats life...I'm becoming a person that says that often...Ah well!

I'm still ruddy confused about the Danielle and Jackie thing...I really care for Jackie, but she isn't here...But I really care about her...but I know she doesn't even do the online thing anyway,so I shouldn't feel bad or anything, but I can't help it...I just feel so close to her...and...I dunno...I just feel such a strong connection I haven't felt in so long...I love her, as a friend or something more, I don't know...this feels alot like the past loves I've had...which really isn't a good thing...

But then there is danielle, when I'm with her, I forget about everything else...But the same is with Jackie when we talk. But I can look into danielles beautiful eyes, and see her smile, which brings the same to my face...And hug her, damn I loved that hug...I dunno what to do, or even how SHE feels yet...I intend on finding out monday though, may even tomorrow...who knows.

I really hope its just a strong infatuation, I really do...But that would mean most of my other relationships were just that too...I don't know...I wouldn't mind that, but that would mean I lied when I said I loved them...but atleast it wasn't on purpose...

Bloody hell this is complicated! It may not even be, it may be simple from someone in a second person view, but...it isn't for me.

::Sighs::

Well, Jackie and I started writing a story together, we have two chapters, six pages total, and so far its a brilliant beginning. I know, I know..its a bit short...I was hoping for 5 pages each chapter, but...yeah...I'm still new to this so meh...Its all good, and I'm pretty proud of myself. I can't wait to start writing chapter three.

Oh, if anyone wants to read the story, IM me sometime..or PM me..^^

Take care all~~~ And please comment~!
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