Saturday, May 28, 2005

   Hey all.
Well, crossroads wasn't bad...it was pretty good...though I heard a few things I didn't really want too..but maybe they where for the best.

For example; Danielle and I were talking, for a WHILE...which was really cool..but some of the things she said kinda upset me, a little...I wasn't angry, maybe just a bit somber...I said something and she was pretty much saying, shes a huge flirt, etc...V.V...That makes me think a couple of things, like; A: If we where to go out would I have to watch her flirting with other guys? B:Hell I might not even have a chance...C: If A or B is a negative anwser, then I should just forget about it.

Meh!! And it sucks because...shes really cool...but some of the things about her I don't like, like...she let her ex boyfriend touch her ass when they hugged, and ...yeah...that kinda...yeah..-.-...I can't stop that, but yeah...and...I dunno...I'm just a bit confused on what to do ::Sigh:: but thats life..as usual.

Enough of my rambling, take care all...
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Friday, May 27, 2005

   Meh.
Well I'm sittin' here at...4:11 AM, and I'm lonely. God, why doesn't that suprise me? Probably because it happens too often...Damn, I'm adgitated...My room is kinda warm, and I feel like pounding the shit out of someone, but then I don't...Meh...Maybe Its just the slight heat in my room, or maybe its some kind of...well I don't know, but something else I'm not aware of.

All I know is, I'm lonely, and I have too many things going on in my head...sorta. Maybe I'm just thinking too much, and becoming frustrated........Fuck I don't even know.

I'll share someone with you all, though. I kinda have a crush on two people, Danielle, and a really, very close friend, Jackie...Jackie is one of my dearest and best friends, and she lives in oklahoma, unfortuantely, but...in any case, maybe the flirting has gotten to me, and I stopped dating long distance a while ago, as did she...so..I know nothing will happen, but while I know that, I feel somewhat drawn to her. But I'm willing to bet if we spot flirting it will stop...::Sighs:: God I hate having such a complicated heart...

Then theres danielle, the local girl I met at crossroads last week, who broke up with her b/f zack(of which I know). But---Never the less, I feel a bit...I don't know, frustrated, maybe a bit angry torwards myself for letting such things frustrate me...Ugh, I dunno...

You know whats horrible? When you go to bed at night and are stuck thinking about things you wouldn't have too so much otherwise. Your stuck, laying in your bed, pondering the things of your life and you just wish you'd fall asleep in hopes that a happy dream will take over your then unconcious state and rid your thoughts for the hours that you lie in bed...That seems to be one of my only salvations...

Sleeping and dreams, that are purely fictional...

Take care all.
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Thursday, May 26, 2005

   Meh.
Meh, meh, and meh...thats how today was.

Lol. It wasn't all that day I guess.

Exept that.

CARRIE WON! UGH! Damn it! Bo should have won...and for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about American Idol.

::Sigh:: Oh well, thats life.

In any case, I got to eat pizza and make one. Woot.

Hmm...Well, Danielle was a bit upset. Shes stressed out...people, school...just life in general. So, I tried helping her, well, as much as I could through AIM since she lives 45 mins away..but yeah..I tried, she said I did help...so I'm glad.


In any case, thats about it. Goin' to crossroads again tomorrow night...See Daneille, yay. And everyone else...

Take care all~~~
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

   Ah well damn...
Lets see..I'll try and make this a short post.

Mary and I broke up. No no, its ok...Its rather funny. I called her to break up with her but no one anwsered, so I called Danielle...Mary called after a while and I gave the phone to amanda, which was who she asked for. I went downstairs, came up, and amanda pretty much said that they she wanted to break up with me too. Then all three of us busted out laughing at the pure irony of the situation, and its mutual want.

I love Irony.

That went pretty well, exept Mary laughed a bit TOO Much, which is what amanda said..more or less.

Bad news is that Danielle broke up with Zach, and...is a bit frightened to go into another relationship. Not that a possibilty has been shown, yet...and I explained to her to be scared and why, and she understood...thankfully...

Her and I have talked a decent ammount since we met, which is good, and I'm happy about that...

What I'm not happy about is that I'm again girlfriendless, drat...Oh well, such is life...I suppose, and I'll live, but until then...I might be a bit somber...again, such is life...

Take care everyone!~
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Sunday, May 22, 2005

   Woo hoo? :p
Went to Crossroads, they had ALOT of stuff going on, like...Skateboarding with a little course set up. They had three bands, and I hung out with out of the bands main singers. It was really cool. Me and my Sister had a magazine we got for free signed with a BUNCH of autographs! It was the shit. Like...the front, back, and a page have signatures on it. And we got our shirts signed by Pures(Spelt it wrong, they spell it differently.) lead singer. He was so good dude! Even for a christian band. There energy was just so awesome. And they had me jumping, and waving my hands, and screaming, and shit. o.o It was so cool. But, my feet ended up hurting like HELL man...but its all good, well worth the fun! And Mary, my girlfriend, was there. Unfortunately we didn't get much chance to talk or anything...::Sligh sigh:: That was pretty much the only bad part...And I got another girls number. She seems really cool. And I talked to Kathy, and met a dude named George.

I remember amanda and I, and Mary where standing around eachother and shes just like "Give him a hug." And she like, wouldn't give me a hug. I was like o.O O.o o.O O.o. Heh, I was kinda brooding on that..I was like..."Wtf..I finally get a girlfriend, and she won't even HUG me?" Ugh..Amanda talked to her after seeing her in the bathroom, and she was told that Mary had went a bit too quick on the last relationship, and wanted to go slow. SURE! I'm all for SLOW. But a hug, is like, a hug...-.-..I don't get it really...jeez...What, does hug now lead to sex, or something? Oh well, anyways, I got my damned hug at the end. Lol. When I left, so yeah...

I'm happy as well that I got danielles phone number. ^-^ Yay! She was enthused when I said I'd probably call her. Haha, that made me feel good.

Well, enough mushy goodness for today! Take care everyBODY!!!!!!~
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Saturday, May 21, 2005

   Mood: No--Fuckin--Idea...
Today wasn't so bad really, I suppose...I went to Crossroads, and had fun...some of the time. Yay...I got some hugs. Which...ya know...is always good. I love hugs! I don't get enough of them! Pfft. Oh well. :p

I triiiied to talk to people today! A big jump for me...Normally I just...shut the hell up. XD But I walked up to Kathy, and said "Kathy right?" and shes like "Yeah." and walked away..I'm just like...::Walks away....::...v.v...lol...AManda called her over and was like "Why'd you walk away from Ryan when he tried to talk to you?" ANd she apologized..I'm just like..."Well, are you coming tomorrow." She said she was. I replied; "Well, good! Then I'll talk to you then." >
Damn, I'm rambling. Better end this soon.

Or not.

Anyways, When I got home, I wanted to call Mary but John, called Amanda. And that fuckin' pissed me off! But then I threw a fit ((Uncommon for me...I don't usually act like I was. But I was quite upset.)) Eventually I got the phone, and got to talk to Mary. YAY!! I was happy about that. But...we didn't even talk that long...which was quite upsetting...we never seem to talk for a long time...which is getting to me. Is she just that busy? Does she not like talking to me? Or does she simply just not like talking on the phone...either way...I'm a bit upset...but meh.

Take care all.
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Friday, May 20, 2005

   What--A--Day...
Well, today wasn't as great as yesterday. How unfortunate...

Well it started off with something my mom said, which is very unexpected. She asked me what the attraction to Mary was. I told her that I thought she was nice and I like her personality...Who would have thought something SO minuscule, would have me contemplating the future. Go figure.

Well, because of this question, I gave a hard look at where I wanted her and I's relationship to go...Boy did that suck.

So, after brooding for atleast half the day, dad talked to me after mom told her what she thought was upsetting me, which was basically right-on-the-fuckin'-mark. And he relieved a little of the depression, thankfully. I'm glad he said what he did, hes not used to saying stuff like that to me. And seldomly does, but...I mean hell, I looked pittiful. :p

In any case, another reason I was upset is because Mary is going to be away for summer vacation. Which rather BLOWS!~~~~ But, I don't know how long. What I do know is that she'll be at her sisters which is like four hours away, if I remember correctly...I finally get a girlfriend, and I hear that? Thats...so....fucked up...oh well...thats life. Ying and yang, rather...Heh...fits in So well with my philsophy, it isn't even laughable.

Well that was my day in a nutshell. Take care all~~

PS: We cooked porkchops on the grill which was cool. So..I guess thats a plus. :p
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Thursday, May 19, 2005

   ^-^
Hey everyone, hows everyone doing? Good I do hope.

Well today, might I say, was pretty good! I talked to Mary again, yay! And well, after a while she talked to my sis, and I could hear her saying stuff like 'Yeah, he missed you and stuff last night, and I think he likes you.' And stuff like that...you know how girls do! Lol. Well, she said something to the effect of "Well, have you thought about it?" I said, after making it evident I knew she liked me, and what they where talking about..I think. But I said, "I have." Then she said "Weeeeeelll?" I said "Well what?" Oh was I smirking then. XD Then she was whining that I had to make her say it. XD Which was mean, but funny as hell. Then shes like " Will you date me?" And which of course...she meant 'will you be my boyfriend?' I dunno why people word things like that, but meh. I responded with...Hm..should I tell you guys? I don't know...Hmmmmm..Ok I will, I said "I'll be glad too." All cool like...yeah, you know how I do. :-p

Well, that was my Daaaay! And that happened about an hour or so ago. Take care all!~~~

PS: I hope a certain Orange isn't upset or anything. o.o
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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

   Hey all.
As above says, Hey all.

Well, lets see, today was good, nothing bad happened, nothing fantastic happened. But I did watch american Idol with my sis, and talk to mary on the phone for a bit, though she never called me back and I couldn't call her back because my sister was hogging the phone and it was late...Oh well.

I wrote a new character biography, which is cool...second longest in the RP..which is again, cool...

I think I'm beginning to like Mary...which isn't strange, just a bit unexpected, since I didn't before...maybe as I mature things like that will take longer...makes sense, things progress...

Later all. Take care.
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Sunday, May 15, 2005

   o.o
Hey everyone, whats up?

Well, Two days ago (technically) Megan and I had a fight, which I'll only state this 'cause its annoying to explain; She got pissed 'cause I was trying to show concern, or didn't take it as concern, rather...being...annoyin'.

Talked to mary a little yesterday, her mom came home and she assumed she'd want to spend some 'quality time' with her so she had to go. And I didn't bother to call back 'cause she was having some friends spend the night, figure I'll call her sometime today...

No other plans really, oh and Megan and I made up...she apologized for being less then empathetic ::Cough:: So...I did what I normally do, give in...Oh well..

Night all. Take care!~~~
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