Saturday, April 23, 2005

   Hm..
Hey everyone, whats up? Nothing really here. Just chillin' and listening to some new songs by Rob thomas! ^^

I'm feeling pretty decent,even after the break up...I'm glad..I'm finally starting to just, take shit as it comes, and move on...I'm a bit sad about it, ya know? I mean...even though it was short lived, it was nice...and I thought it was a good thing..but it turned bad...which really, did quite suck.

But, anyways, I'm not moping around ^_^ so yeah. Thats good ,right? :P I suppose it is.

QUESTION: anyone know of any good comics. My favorite ones are: Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, Ron White, George Carlin, Robin Williams, Dane Cook, Lewis Black.

Know any more? Tell me! ^-^
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::Sighs::...
Well, yesterday, technically, sucked...

I really did care for emily, I really did...but the drama in her life...was too much, even for me to bare. Over the years I've become less immunse to that kind of drama, you know, broken home, abuse, that sort of thing...its not easy for me to deal with it, since I can't actually help...

Anyways...We broke up...I felt it, I knew it...that it had to be that way...The fight turned things, why? I don't know...How? Well I'll give you an example.

Earlier when she got on, I asked her how her day was, and she wouldn't tell me, 'cause she said there was too much drama...-_- I never once stated I didn't want her to tell me anything like that, she assumed that. And that was the beginning of it. Honestly, I don't feel GREAT About it, but I won't let myself suffer needlessly either...

That was my day. Later all.
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Friday, April 22, 2005

   o.o
Wow...What--A--Day...

Emily and I had...the worst fight I think I've ever had.

This where so messed up...I don't know where to begin, well, yeah I do.

After telling me a shitty incident at school, which she refused until later to give me details about, I was pretty pissed, it only got worse from there. It wasn't really the reason I was pissed either, it just..was the spark that caught fire to the soul, so to speak.

After ALOT!!!!!!! of fighting and my friend steves counsilins(sp), things got resolved, which was suprising, but good.

I acted so indesisive on the phone, I was like, No, I dont want to get back together, then I was like, yes, I love you, I want this to work out, back and forth, I was as confused as a retarded dog under a blanket...seriously. Lol.

Oh well, all is good now..for now, we'll see how stuff goes the next few days! Later all.
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Thursday, April 21, 2005

   Hehe.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? its bugging me.

(In the paper the next day):
"A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. 2 people were on it, but only 1 survived."

*The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.If there's anyone you love this much, re-post this

And I love emily this much, so ::Sticks tongue out.:: Mwhaha. ^-^
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   Heh...
Hey guys, well yesterday(Technically) was pretty decent, tiring, long...But good, ya know? One of those days where ya feel like you've done a lot, and it actually has some GOOD in it. Heh, haven't had a day like this in some time.

If you don't wanna hear another rant about my girlfriend, stop reading now..Heh...Just a warning.

Damn do I miss her, I reallllly miss her, and its only been like 2
hours since she left...I feel something strange inside me...I suppose the feeling could be longing...I saw a picture of her sleeping yesterday, oh man...It was so adoreable...I so wish I could have gently crawled my way over to her and snuggled up behind her for a nap...that sounds so wonderful...damn...I love her so much...shes so fantastic...She listens to me, she respects me...shes funny, caring, kind, loving, she can raise my mood neigh instantly, she doesn't put me down, shes beautiful, she has morales, and FOLLOWS THEM, which is so hard to find now a days...and I respect that ALOT..Since I too am a man of morality. I love that she listens though, she isn't one of those "I'll say alright to anything" types either, so it makes it that much better, 'cause I know she trust me and my decisions, and my word. Which is so awesome...This has to be the best relationship I've been in, trusting, loving, just magnificent...

My sister walked into my room earlier and told me to say hi for her, I did, then she said "Tell her I think you two should get married" Or something similar, so I told her, and she was like "Probably"...I really couldn't help but smile at that. I hope nothing ever goes wrong...I can feel myself starting to cling...that feeling...its a different feeling, I'm trying not too, trying to not be clingy, but its hard, you know? Loving someone soooooooooo much, and wanting to be and talk with them every moment, is hard...Which is what I wanna avoid. I love her, I love talking to her every chance I get, but I need my space too, and if I don't have that, things might become worse, atleast...thats how it was before. I really, truly love her...I've never felt a love this stong. I haven't cried in so long since her and I got together, its like...on that day she was the medicine to my wounds, is that wrong? I dunno...thats just how it seems...things seemed right, complete, full correct. I feel so satisfied with her, and I can't wait to embrace her tight in my arms when she walks through my door...I hope that day comes, and I hope it comes soon...thats what I wished for when 11:11 came around, I wished everything would go smoothly between her and I, and that we stayed together forever, and that she came down here as soon as possbile if not sooner, unfortunatley when I opened my eyes it was 11:12 so I don't know much got in, and...I don't normally do stuff like that, but thats how much I wanna see her! Heh...damn...I should go to bed before I rant too much longer, which I know I could...I love you Omaesan Emily!!! ^_^
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Wednesday, April 20, 2005

   ...
Heh, well today..was...tiring.
::Yawns::

I woke up to my sister handing me the phone with who else but Emily, which wasn't bad, it was nice waking up to her..BUt....it would have been better if her dog wasn't darking and her friend screeching...yeah part, I will admit, did suck...:-p

For the most part the day has been good though, nothing seriously bad...And Emily and Susie sent a bunch of random pics with themselfs dressed up, hah, it was kinda cool o.o

She randomly got off line not too long ago, I'm guessing her dad kicked her off, or something..or her internet got kicked off 'Cause of a call...or..it went down and then her dad had to go on, or something. She'll tell me when she talks to me lol

::Hand slides down his face.:: Tired...Always, fuckin', tired...I don't know why either, I suppose it may be become I don't eat as much as I should, no, I don't starve myself, I have the belly to prove it, but I really only eat at night...which is when I'm most active o.o Maybe it is why, maybe not..Dunno...

I love you emily!! ^.^
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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

   ...Pfft...I hate you subject bar.
Hmm...yes the above is true, I do indeed hate the subject bar.

Today...was long...too long...WAY TOO FREAKIN' LONG...It was amazing how long of a day it was, but meh...

Lets just say I had a fight with Emily..but its allllllllllllllll g0o0o0od now...Thank God...

Then I had a little open hearted conversation with her, which went neigh perfectly...Hell yeah...
I didn't fuck up for once when explaination myself to someone! Yay! This is cause for celebration!.......No.

Emily is thinking about ditching school tomorrow, and I really hope she doesn't...'Cause if she does...Thats bad...'Cause if she gets put on PINS...I won't be able to talk to her for a long time...and I don't want that! >.<;;; SO GO TO SCHOOL DAMN IT EMILY lol.

In any case its nearly 12:00 Midnight, so, thats my cue, later all.
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sigh...
I miss EMILY!!!! ::Whines like a puppy.::
DAMN IT!!!! This is crap..utter..freakin'....crap...I wish today was a freakin' saturday! Then She'd be up, and yeah..but meh...I have shit to entertain me while I wait another bloody...5 or so hours?!?!?! JEEZ! I hate that I even calculated that and now I feel worse almost...well no..I don't but meh...

Ughh...I do miss her though, I love her...so freakin' much..and I swear if I don't get to hear her sweet voice today, I'm going to explode.

...Maybe not...but you get the picture. ::Sighs::
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Monday, April 18, 2005

   O.o o.O o.o...
Omaesan is goneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Meh! I miss her already,
And damn I miss her voice! I kinda wish she would call more often...or had me call her more often...Meh...oh well.

All in all, it was a decent day. Dunno what else to say.
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Sunday, April 17, 2005

   Hm..
Hey everyone, today was funky...definatley.

Well, emily nearly got hit by her dad, which while it wasn't all together suprising, pissed me off. I ended up getting pissed at emily, for no reason, actually she was upset, and I said something to upset her further, which was what caused my anger, and...I felt really bad about it, even now,I dont feel that great with it...But, she forgave me, thankfully, and I'll try and do better next time..nothing more I can do really.

I do love her, so much...

Well...I figured I'd atleast try not to make this completly about her, since I could rant on forever probably Lol.

Tomorrow we're having a cook out, YAY!! And listening to some lewis black while doing say, DOUBLE YAY! Should be really fun, getting to hang out with my dad and have fun, seems like something I've wanted to do for a long time...Him and I got along alright during my early childhood, but after a while, we drifted apart more and more, and I pretty do wanna fix that, my tears almost went watery thinking about it, hah...meh.

Besides that, I don't know what else to say, exept I love you omaesan~!
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