Sunday, May 8, 2005

   happy fucking motherz day
well... title says it all. my moms being a fugly bitch. she left b4 i got up and went somewhere. i was hoping she died... but nooo she just got back home and is yelling at me again. nows she crying because "i treat her like shit" "dont care for her" and even though my dad made me clean the entire house this morning so she would be nice to me and my sis, she still says "your all useless!" "why the fuck did i have kids!"

so yeah. for those with normal moms out there, happy mothers day. not.
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Friday, April 1, 2005

heh
ok ok ok ... as soon as i started coloring the miroku x sango pic i hated it. ill redo it if i feel like it. i made this other one instead. it was of a witch but then her outfit looked like it wouldve falled off if someone breathed on her so i just cropped it to her chest... which is pretty skimpy too anyway but watever...
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Friday, March 25, 2005

Ok ok ok...
i have something drawn (finally) i will color it completely and stuff tomorrow... srry for the wait... its of sango and miroku... sango looks retarded cause i cant draw the angle i drew her in well.... yeah
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Thursday, February 24, 2005

deletion
yo i deleted the last post cause some ppl from school now have my sn here and i dont want them to see it. i started anime club again today now that paddlings over... i will start drawing again soon. no promises though...
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Sunday, January 16, 2005

im a failure dont talk to me. i cant do anything right and just cause people pain
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Thursday, January 13, 2005

   meh
i feel sick...i need to go to sleep
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Friday, December 31, 2004

My last two days of the year were the most exciting for me
The only time I thought I was going to die and didn't have a hand in it was yesterday morning.

At my paddling practice, my coach told myself and my fellow two steersmen to take the three canoes out on the race course - a race against each other. At the starting line, I was looking into the water when I saw something big swim by. At first I thought it was a dolphin...but then 'shark!' entered my mind. I kept it to myself, not wanting my crew to panic.

Halfway through our practice race, some other canoes where coming towards us. They stopped and I tried to go to the right around them and would have suceeded if the one closest to me's steerman would have kept her canoe straight. We ended up smashing into her and my canoe flipped over. The first thing that came to my mind was the shark, but I pushed it away and had my crew flip the canoe back over, bail out the water, and finish the race. The canoe who originally flipped us left with a crappy apology and some laughs. Bitches.

When we returned, our coach gave us a different race to do. We hadn't even reached the starting point when a huge wave came. I steered the canoe straight into it, but somehow when we were coming back down it, we ended up flipping over again. Except this time it was different, when we flipped the canoe back over, it was completely under the water. The only reason it didnt sink was because of what it is made out of (fiber glass) and the ama (which has air in it). My crew and I was out in the ocean treading water for about an hour before a boat came to help us. It was during that time that I discovered there was a hole in the back of my canoe. I was like 'fuuuuuuuuck!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!' but as the steersman, i couldn't panic.

When the boat finally came to help us, they refused to call the coast guard because they didnt have life jackets and were supposed to be carrying them. Fuckers...

Then they left us for a good 20 minutes or so to get some, but came back with enough except for one person. So everyone got life jackets except me. Nice...real nice.

They had my crew members swim to shore with an adult to guide them there. The boat that came to "rescue" us could only fit about three people squished. So They put a rope around the canoe and towed it back into shore with me in it, about 2 inches under water the entire time with waves smashing me and a geko in my hair...

Oh yeah, I dind't explain the geko. When they were tying the rope around the canoe, I saw a geko in the water, no doubt found himself on the "rescue boat"a dn had falled off. I for some unknown reason thought it was my duty to protect him and get him back to land. So I put him in my hair, highest above the water.

When we finally get into shore, we realize that my crew who had to swim back weren't there. They had started swimming about 30 mins before we finally started towing the canoe back to shore. The "rescue boat" went back out again to search for them, but no such luck. I was like shit it should have been me seeing how I am the steersman and in charge. But that was also the reason I didnt get a life jacket and had to stay with the canoe...I think...

Turns out instead of swimming the farther, but safer way, the adult took them through strong waves and rock walls. Nobody was hurt. Thank who ever is up there and watching out for us.

I put the geko on my tree after some of the other girls from the other crews started freaking out that I had a "lizard on my head". I told them it was drowning. It didnt change their opinions on "lizards".

Yeah. I have a couple of scratches, multiple bruises, and plenty of sore muscles today from all the swimming and waves smashing me against the boat... but now that I look at it, I'd do it again save the shark part.

I hope your New Years is fun.
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Saturday, December 25, 2004

truth
srry to disappoint u ppl, but the last post was a lie. my sister saw the previous post and i had to cover for it. i am angry with myself that i even tried doing it, and i promise that wen things get rough again ill try different means to solve it.

i feel ... idk how to explain it, but it was ... nice knowing that others... actually cared...

aww crap im not good with this type of shit so ... yeah!

im ok now... thanks for the IM ... it made me feel important for some reason...

ok Merry Christmas! or Happy Holidays for those non XMas ppl out there. have a good one!

as for sliting your wrists, i wouldn't do that either. if u live through it u will have a scar and if u get over wat made u do it u will have a mark for the rest of your life to remind u of your pain.

... jumping off something high sounds better... but im not into that rite now so don't do it!
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

   ermm....
*nervous laugh* ... i was just warning the ppl hu want to commit suicide out there... i never wrote that i actually did that...

tho its nice to kno so many ppl care about me
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Tuesday, December 21, 2004

meh
When trying to commit suicide, i seriously suggest NOT to try an overdose of advil / alieve / other pain killers unless you really want your bathroom to look like the inside of an airline's barfbag after hard use.
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