Monday, January 31, 2005

   Gomen Nisai!
Sorry about yesterday's posts. I feel sorry for the people who read my first one, I didn't mean to rant, I just needed to get some anger out. Sorry. The second post was short so I apologize. The reason it was so short is because my cousin/idol called me and talked to me about cutting. (Yes... I cut myself.) But she talked to me about her past experiences and how it began to take over her life. It is the same with me... I can't control it anymore. That's the only thing I want-control. Cutting was the only thing I could control in my life and now I can't. It's an addiction. I burn when I don't and I bleed when I do. Will this ever get better?
I'm going to have to see my new psychiatrist again today. Maybe she'll send me to the hospital. I don't know any more. Nothing matters.
I don't know what to do. I'm completely numb. I just want it to be alright... and I want to go back to when I believed in everything. The world is black and white in my sight. Where is the grey?
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Sunday, January 30, 2005

   Changed background...
Hello... again. I had an earlier post but I had to delete it since I decided that it wasn't appropriate. I changed my background to Dir en Grey with Kyo, Die, and Kaoru. My new icon is Kyo, I like it very much. ^^ The reason I made it a Dir en Grey is because they have birthdays in Febuary... I gotta go because it's 30 minutes past my bedtime. I'll write an extra-long post tommorow, okay? Bye!
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Saturday, January 29, 2005

   Kill me
Now that I'm home I wish I were dead. I hate this place.
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   PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am adding another post for pictures because my stupid "modify post" button is screwing up. If you have a problem with it, SCREW YOU!!!


My, Kaoru seems to be energetic. ^^


I'm gonna steal Kaoru's jacket...


Kyo-sama surrounded by skulls. ^^


Kaoru in chains.


Totchi-kun. (This IS a guy.)


Die in his trademark leather. (Bloodandtears... don't say a word!) ^^


Is it wrong to say Shinya is hot?


I'm gonna steal Totchi's outfit. ^^

I'm feeling genorous, so here is a link to Malice Mizer's Beast of Blood music video. Enjoy, and I am terribly sorry to terrorize you all for so long. Sayonara!
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   J-rock related nonsence
Hello, everyone. I'm back from bloodandtears's house and I'm bored. I have nothing to do... oh, well. I got to see a video of Dir en Grey drunk in a club. It was hilarious because at the end, Toshiya was blowing kisses and winking at people. It was so funny... and then I heard an interview with Gackt talking to this guy about where to buy meat for your curry. Did you know that it takes him 4 whole days to make a meal of curry?! Lazy bum... Anyhow, he started mumbling about how they sometimes hide the meat and how you should prepare the meat. I hate Gackt. He's full of himself and he left Malice Mizer, a perfectly good band!!! Baka... (gomen nisai, Gackt fans! Me sorry...) Bloodandtears drew on my foot today. Here are some of the things on my foot... Dir en Grey, Miyabi, Mana, Kozi, Kyo, Kaoru, Shinya, Totchi, and Die. She draws on my foot every time I come over there... odd. o.0 For some reason bloodandtears and I have been obsessing over Mana and Shinya, adopting him as one of our homies and such. Can you blame me? They're awesome! I saw Gackt on Malice Mizer's Beast of Blood music video and I got really mad. I screamed, "GO STIR SOME CURRY AND GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!" (Kei-chan and bloodandtears will understand this... ~.^). Man, bloodandtears's brother had a friend over and he kept on talking about my boobs and talking about how big they are! I'm only a 36B!!! God, makes me angry... >=( Ugh... I'm snowed in today. Perhaps I shall brush up on my Japanese. Here are some pictures in the mean time.


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