Tuesday, May 17, 2005

   HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOUCHAN!!!
Current Mood: Extatic
Current Song: The Hand that Feeds by Nine Inch Nails

WHOOO!!!!!!! TODAY IS TRENT REZNOR'S 40th BIRTHDAY!!! He is now officially my (O)Touchan. It's okay... we all still love you, Trent!






















Hats off to the greatest gaijin musician ever!!! ^_^

I've been bipolar lately and it's bugging the crap out of me. I can't wait until the summer comes so I don't have to deal with all the crap I get from school. I'm gonna continue my book, learn piano, (hopefully) learn guitar, and learn more Japanese. I just hate (almost) everyone at school. They all suck and make me want to smash their head in with a hammer. I dun like them. X_X Oh, Goddess. I'm turning into Trent and gaining all of his homicidal tendencies. This is gonna be difficult.

Oh, yeah. If bloodandtears is reading this- THE MACHINE. :P



+Shiyume, Obsessive Devil Child+
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

   Konnichiwa, minna!
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Right Where it Belongs by Nine Inch Nails

I am sooooo happy! I got the new Nine Inch Nails cd the day it came out!!! I have listened to many of it's songs and viewed almost every music video Trent has released. I also got to ask him some questions on nin.com!!! Trent is such a dedicated artist and puts so much work into his music... I want to be the next Trent Reznor. I love Nine Inch Nails so much... ^o^


My mom thinks that Trent looks cute in this picture, but she thinks that he needs to cut his bangs so you can see his "pretty eyes". So funny! ^^

I changed the background and icon from Kyo-sama to Mana-hime because I am feeling Gothic Lolita today and the background invaded the ability to read my posts and everything. I hope you guys are happy with the change and everything. I was going to do D'espairsRay or something like that, but there aren't many wallpapers for them... ToT

Bloodandtears was really angry today because someone she usually hangs out with got the same haircut as she did, after she saw bloodandtears's hair cut. Now she is really mad because she thinks that everyone will think that she's a follower and blah, blah, blah. She was so angry that it was scary. I told her to spike her hair up and act like a maniac. She didn't exactly approve of that form of independance, but I thought it was pretty effective.

This week I have had to take my End of Grade tests. It SUCKS. Luckily tommorow will be my last test, the Reading portion of the test. Also, we will only have to go to one period really because we will have the test 1st-3rd period, then we'll go to 4th period, and then we shall watch a movie on Vietnam from 5th to 7th period. Yay!!! I will be able to daydream about everything and nothing more...

I hit my finger and it hurts so much that it's really warm and all my other fingers are freezing. It reallys hurts typing, so I have to stop. Sorry I haven't been updating, everyone! I love you guys, even though you may not think it.
+Shiyume, Trent Reznor fangirl+
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Monday, May 2, 2005

   hide-sama...
Current Mood: Mournful
Current Song: Beautiful Disgrace by Orgy

Today is the anniversary of hide-sama's suicide... we all mourn for his soul. His meaningful lyrics filled our minds with the mysteries of all the unknown and we all miss him dearly. He guided us through the dark when we couldn't realize the dark he was in... where ever he is now, I am sure that his journey has not stopped. We all wish that he rest in peace.







Other than the anniversary of hide-sama's death, today was pretty good. I got to read the last two mangas of Kill me, Kiss me. It's a really cute Korean manga and has lots of funny things in it. For example, there's a gay couple in a gang. So adorable! I love it! ^^



We are studying Japan is social stuidies and I love it! It's pretty sad that I'm actually enjoying learning... -_-; I'm almost on Katagana in Japanese, the alphabet for foreign words. Me so happy. *does a monkey dance*

They STILL haven't came out with a new episode of InuYasha with Naraku or Sesshomaru in it. The last episode was on February 6th!!! >_< I want my Naraku-sama and Sesshomaru-sama... T.T I'm so deperate that I bought the 7th ani-manga of InuYasha. I want them so bad...


How kawaii!!! ^-^


Fluffy-sama and the saimyosho.

I can't wait until tommorow! Nine Inch Nails' next album With Teeth comes out tommorow! Me so happy! Trent Reznor is a god... yay... *dreams of the amazing-ness of the next album*



Well, I must go. Sorry everyone, I love you all! Ja ne! ^o^ *muah*
+Shiyume is hyper... X_X+
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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

   NINE INCH NAILS!!!
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: The Hand that Feeds by Nine Inch Nails

Konnichiwa, minna. Sorry that I haven't been on for a while, I've been kinda busy... ^^; Please forgive me. Gomen nasai! *bows*

I bought a second issue of Gothic Beauty and all of the articles on fashion really inspired me to design my own clothes and make them myself. I've already come up with a few skirts, a corset, and a pair of boots. I really like the boots and I named them "pSYCHo", which I found quite fitting. I've been on a fashion spree, which is quite new and odd to me, and have been designing like crazy!!! It's really odd, but I find that it is really cool because I can make my own stuff. Hopefully I will be successful in the future.

After much anticipation built up over five long years, With Teeth by Nine Inch Nails will come out on May 3rd!!! Me so happy!!! I will get to hear more from Trent Reznor!!! I love him! Nine Inch Nails is the closest thing to J-rock to me and is in my personal opinion, the best American band ever!!!


Trent in The Scream.

Today I had a cupcake. It was tasty. It tasted like chicken.
+Shiyume is hyper like a squirell+

P.S. Sorry for the long post, everyone! I'm kinda tired... *o*
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Friday, April 22, 2005

   NARAKU-SAMA!!!
Current Mood: Obsessive
Current Song: Ruiner by Nine Inch Nails

Today I watched my bootleg of InuYasha: The Castle Beyond the Looking Glass because I really like that movie and it has Naraku-sama in it and he rocks in Japanese! His voice makes me melt into a puddle.... *sighs* Anyhow, it was awesome because I got to listen to all the Japanese and blah, blah, blah. But it was so funny during the credits because Shippo-chan had draw a picture of him kicking Kaguya Hime in the butt and her screaming while Sango-chan, Kirara, and Kagome-chan cheered and then drew a picture of himself kicking Naraku-sama in the butt with InuYasha-kun and Miroku-kun looking quite disgruntled. It was so cute and funny! Today I was going to put adoptables up, but my stupid profile is screwing up like it does sometimes and so I have to wait to put in a song and everything... CURSES!!! Today I rented Tomie from Blockbuster, a Japanese horror movie that has two other sequels. It looks really cool and I haven't watched it yet, but I really want to. But I didn't get to hug the tree at Blockbuster... I miss him. T.T In school, we have silent class changes because apparently we have been too loud in the hallways, which makes me really angry. Now bloodandtears can't babble in the hallway all we want, we have to be discreet about it. Baka sensei!!! The full moon is on Sunday and I am so happy! It is one of the holidays a Wiccan celebrates and is one connecting with the Goddess. And after that will by May Day, the most important Wiccan holiday of all!!! It is also when I believe that my powers are most potent. Sorry, I just really love my religion. And Naraku-sama!!!


My Naraku-sama!!!


XD *in pure ecxtacy*


Aw... isn't Kanna kawaii?

Is it wrong to be in love with someone who doesn't exist?
+Shiyume is confused+
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Wednesday, April 20, 2005

   GOMEN NASAI!!!
Current Mood: Frustrated
Current Song: Starf***ers Inc. by Nine Inch Nails

Oh, Goddess!!! I haven't updated in forever and I feel so bad about it!!! I am so sorry, please forgive me!!! *bows deeply and apologetically* I feel like a total buttface... I'm so sorry...

The reason for my absence is that I have a had some trouble with my parents, emotions, school, all that crap. I'm really sorry that I haven't replied to any of your messages, I feel so terrible! You may shoot me if you wish, but I just feel so bad. Please don't kill me!!!

You like the new layout? Eh? Eh? TELL ME OR I SHALL HAVE TO GIVE YOU TO NARAKU-SAMA!!! Anyway, I may be the only one who likes my new layout, but I'm happy with it and that's the way it's gonna stay for a month. Then everyone gets Kyo-sama!!! ^^ It's sad that I've already planned my next layout, isn't it...? Oh, well! Madness is nothing to cure... once we're far enough in it, there is no escape...

I'll stop babbling and try to update later. Bye!
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

   KISS ME, KILL ME, LOVE ME!
Current Mood: Angry and angsty Current Song: Spit by Kittie I'M GONNA BURN DOWN MY FREAKING SCHOOL! I HATE THAT PRISON! I WISH THAT ALL THE TEACHERS WOULD GET WHAT THEY DESERVE AND THEIR KARMA COME BACK TO THEM TEN FOLDS! THE IGNORANCE! I FEEL LIKE SMASHING SOMETHING! I WANT TO SCREAM AND SPIT POISON! I WANT IT ALL TO MYSELF! Sorry... I really don't feel good right now. Last night I had really bad heartburn from all the stupid American food that I had to shove down my throat because we're Americans and like to make ourselves morbidly obese and then mope and cry over it when it THEIR FREAKING FAULT! It felt like a demon was looping through my ribs and struggling to break through my chest cavity... you know, like in Alien. I missed three hours of sleep and I was so tired in the morning that I didn't care what I wore and I only put two bracelets on, unusual for my twenty-some. I even wore my glasses because I've been straining my eyes. Stress has smothered me like a thousand-ton brick. I want to take a hammer and smash it all... my stress, the pain, the worry, my mind... I just want it all to go away and leave me alone. It's like a nasty omen that just won't go away and haunts me eternally... oh, Goddess. I must sound so selfish right now. There are thousands of other people dying right now and I'm griping about how much my life sucks. I must be a real dissapointment... I've turned into something I hate. I tried to make an alter for my Wiccan rituals today, but it was too small. I'm also trying to find a box for my tarot cards. Why does everything I do end up in vain? Bloodandtears got in trouble today for wearing a mini-skirt because some stupid people said that it was too short when it was past the school regulations. We were both really angry. Why can't people just mind their own freaking business?! I'm going to chop their dirty little noses off if they don't stop poking it into my buisness! Today during 5th period math I asked one of my teachers if I could use the bathroom and she said no because she wanted me in the room for a certain excercise. 25 minutes later, class ended and she let me use the restroom. Why do teachers have to be so stupid? In 7th period Science, my teacher was explaining something to the students that I wasn't going to be here for- and she knew that. I was working on my homework- writing 30 spelling words 10 times each- and she saw me. She walked over to me, ripped the paper out of my hands, and tore it apart and threw it in the trash. I had already wrote 230 words and I only had 70 left. Everyone in the class started to laugh at me and gasp saying, "The smart girl got her homework thrown away!" I started blushing and I wanted to cry. I just don't feel like doing anything. I want to go to sleep and lie in a permanent sleep... where I can escape from this horrid reality. +Shiyume is stumbling in the dark+
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

   I am the voice inside your head...
Current Mood: Ill Current Song: The Odyssey by Orgy Eh... sorry about that. I'm just listening to Orgy and I love their lyrics. So eerie... yesterday was quite exciting. Unfortunatly, I cannot say the same for today. Allow me to elaborate... Yesterday I went to the local Science Museum on a field trip and I wasn't very pleased about it. Luckily, they had rainforest animals on exibit, so that made me really happy... but sad at the same time. I felt so bad for the animals because they were caged and were in a place where they were held to their will. They were in a prison and they didn't do anything to deserve it. People keeping on getting freaked out whenever they saw the pythons, fox bats, tarantulas, and scorpians and things like that, which made me even angrier. They are beautiful creatures and are very sweet if they are treated with kindness. I've pet a tarantula before and it was soft and really nice. If only people would get past the exterior... snakes are really sweet too! My friend has a pet corn snake named Fred and he is one of the sweetest animals on the Earth. I just hate people's judgement. Also, there were these hollowed out boxes right next to the lemur's cage and people would crawl in it and scare each other. I was fine with that except that they were terrifying the lemurs. The poor dears ran up in their tree and hugged each other while shaking. I told the people to stop and why, but they didn't care. I would like to put them in a strange, odd place and lock them in a cage and have ugly creatures poke their faces in and scream at them to see how they like it! Also there was this macaw in there that would talk to you but they were screaming, "Polly wanna cracker? Come on, you stupid bird! Talk!" I hate stupid people that are mean to animals... I just want them to understand their beauty. Eh... sorry. I went into an entire rant, didn't I? I do that sometimes... -_-; Bloodandtears got the 2nd part of Gokusen, a Japanese drama about an all boy's school that harbors juvenile delinquents and a female teacher teaches the class. The way she goes on about it makes me want to watch it so badly! But I can hardly understand the conversations between herself and her mother... -_-; She posted some pictures of the actors on her site and they are HOT. ^^ Today she came up to me and told me that my hair was cool. I asked her why and she said that it looked like a guy's off of Gokusen, just longer. I rolled my eyes and she burst out laughing. We both have the maturity of five year olds on crack. :P Today bloodandtears and I designed masks for me because when we become part of a visual kei band, I'm going to cover my face with a mask so no one will see that I am nothing but a baka Amerikanjin... *bows head in shame* Anyway, some of the masks are really cool like I designed one that was made out of mirror and named it "Reflection." Bloodandtears designed one of my favorites, a mask with a girl smiling like she's way too happy and her face is covered in black straight-jaket like material. It's really cool. A terrible tragedy (I won't say what for their privacy and I promised) fell upon one of my friends yesterday. When I heard about it I almost cried and fell to my knees. The whole entire day she couldn't stop crying and I couldn't do anything, but think of her when I was on the field trip. Fear is twisting in my gut because she hurt herself because of it and people are spreading rumors about her. I performed one of my spells of healing for her, but I don't know if that will be enough. She has a lifeless look in her eyes now. She looks like crap and it seems that she doesn't care about anything she holds dear anymore. The only thing I can do is hug her and tell her that everything will be alright... but I don't know if they will be. I feel horrible. I can't possibly imagine how she feels because her grief is so heavy and her lost was so great. I just wish I could take her pain away... Eh, I'm getting all depressive. Sorry. I do that sometimes when I get to deep into things. I need to go pray for my friend again. Sayonara. +Shiyume is lost and can't find her way to the light...+
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

   Konnichiwa, homies!!!
Current Mood: Playful
Current Music: Suckerface by Orgy

Hello, everyone! I'm sorry I didn't post for a few days, but Friday I went to bloodandtears's house and I didn't come back until today. It was so fun! Okay, the last time I talked to you guys, I was sick. I got to go back to school Wednesday and I finished all of my makeup work (THANK YOU, GODDESS!!!) and I'm feeling a whole lot better except that my throat's sore and my allergies are flaring up. Anyhow, on Friday night I went to bloodandtears's house and we babbled about j-rock and things like that and she translated the part in the InuYasha manga where (WARNING: SPOILER!!!) where Kagura died. It was so sad. After she attempted to betray Naraku, Hakudoshi tried to kill her and she fled in fear of her life. Suddenly, Naraku appeared out of nowhere and talked to her for a while and then told her that he was going to give her heart back. When he did, she looked so shocked and then he stuck his tail-like things on his back into her chest and killed her. It was so sad. Her face was so upsetting. For once, I felt bad for her. She sat alone and she was thinking "No one is going to come. I'm all alone. I'm going to die alone and miserable." Then Sesshomaru came and he said that he thought he smelled Naraku. Kagura laughed and said that he must have thought that she was him. Sesshomaru said, "No, I knew it was you." It was so sweet. Sesshomaru says he's cold and all that, but he has a soft spot. WE LOVE YOU, SESSHY-SAMA! Anyway, when she died she smiled and said "I am one with the wind..." and exploded into feathers. It was beautiful. InuYasha and his campanions came and saw Sesshomaru and saw that Kagura had died. InuYasha and everyone knew that Naraku had killed her because they were there when Hakudoshi attacked her. InuYasha asked if she suffered and as Sesshomaru walked away, he said, "No. She was laughing." It was so sad. Then I looked at the part where Naraku supposedly killed Kikyo. She didn't die... WHY DIDN'T YOU FINISH HER OFF, NARAKU-SAMA?! WHY?! (Sorry, all Kikyo fans, you can kill me later.)

Then we went dropped bloodandtears's mother at the Japanese school, at breakfast at McDonalds and had an entertaining conversation with her and her father, dropped her brother off at Japanese school, and went to the library. While we were there, bloodandtears and I looked up on Wicca. They didn't have much there, especially for how prestigious the library was. I was very dissapointed. Anyway, after that, bloodandtears drew a picture of Kaoru-san from Dir en Grey and I researched on Japanese. It was so funny because bloodandtears decided that when she sees Kaoru-san, she's gonna jump on him and scream "To-chan!!!" (To-chan is an affectionate reference of father, which is otosan.) It was so funny and we kept on screaming To-chan at random times. When we left the library, we went to Borders and I got The Complete Book of Incense, Oils, and Brews by Scott Cunningham and I got a blank notebook for my Book of Mirrors (Wiccan diary of recording magickal events). Bloodandtears bought books 1, 2, and 3 of Kill Me, Kiss Me, a Korean manga. Kill Me, Kiss Me is so funny! I love it! The 1st book was really cute because there was this boy who switched places with his cousin and he was wearing her school uniform and said "Whee! Wearing dresses is fun!" In the 3rd book, there was a gay couple in a gang and they were arguing over who was the wife and when they made up it was so funny. It rocks. After that we went to Sam Ash and talked about j-rock (mostly Shinya from Dir en Grey). Then we picked up her brother and his friend from Japanese school and went to go eat and we went to go eat Japanese and it was so cool because we got to speak to the waitress in Japanese and I understood everything she said! I'm so happy! ^-^ Anyhow, we walked in the park and read our books and talked while her brother and his friend played on the playground. It was so hot. I wanted SPF 50 so bad because I was afraid that I was going to tan. I love my pale skin and I want it to stay that way!!! >_< After that we went to pick her mom up from a party and went to Lotte, an oriental store where they sold all sorts of different stuff. It was so cool! I loved it. We went to a hockey game where bloodandtears had to play The Star Spangled Banner. Instead of watching the game, bloodandtears and I just read Kill me, Kiss me and giggled and babbled in Japanese while everyone stared in question. Such fun! After that we got drove back home and by then it was about 1 in the morning. We stayed up and listened to Kittie while she drew and I stared at Naraku-sama in her mangas and drew a small comic. We ate Hi-chew, a Japanese watermelon chew that lasted for a while. I loved Japanese flavoring, it tastes more natural and isn't as sweet as American flavoring. We also chewed Ume, a gum with pickled plum flavoring. It was so tasty! We both chewed 4 1/2 sticks of Ume... so yummy! ^_^

Today I woke up at 1 in the afternoon and we babbled about crap, played with her brother and his friend, and ate lunch. Then I had to go home! ToT Oh, well. I missed my family and it had been long enough anyways. I still loved it! ^^ That's been my weekend. Jampacked, eh? :P Here are some pics, I hope I can post some up...


It's Ume!!! ^^


Strawberry Hi-chew! (I couldn't find Watermelon...) -_-;


Pocky!!! (We got it too but didn't eat it... curses!)


I want Ramune so bad... my tastebuds desire it!!!


Once I got my brother Ramune candy, it was really good.


It was funny during lunch because Tomo, bloodandtears's brother's friend, tried to get me to eat wasabi and I told him only if he did it first. He did and he ended up gasping for water. So funny! ^^


This stuff, Meiji 4 Ren Kinoko & Takenoko, is really good too, it tastes just like ice cream!

Ugh... I have to go now. Looking at all of this Japanese food has made me hungry and it's dinner time. Oh, how I wish I could eat in Japan!
+Shiyume likes sugar...+
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Wednesday, April 6, 2005

   And if I die before I wake...
Current Mood: Miserable
Current Song: Fiction (Dreams in Digital) by Orgy

Hello, everyone... I'm still sick. Now my throat hurts. Curse it all! I can't imagine how much makeup work I have by staying home... just thinking of it makes me want to puke. I think tommorow I'm going to school even if I have maggots crawling out of even orfice of my body. (Nice thought to think about, nai?) I'm wearing the clothes I wore yesterday... I didn't take a shower yesterday... I slept for about 18 hours and had some REALLY screwed up dreams. For instance, I had a dream that I was with a bunch of druggies and we chewed some gum that had crack in it and I was in pure bliss. We partied in this bus the police picked us up in and went crazy. It was really weird and it freaked me out. I think I've gone even further into insanity than I currently am in. Today I ate ramen and drank green tea and coke. I want to go to the gym so badly for some odd reason and just run until I collapse. I feel like crap. I want to talk to bloodandtears and babble about all different sorts of crap. I'm listening to Orgy right now and Fiction (Dreams in Digital) completly describes me. I'm like a robot and I dream in digital all the time and live in a world of permanent imagination and go to sleep to escape reality. It's sad, but true. I dream in digital. (It's a great song, I hightly suggest it.) I think I should do a ritual bath to cleanse myself of my illness and worries. I dunno. I just feel like lying down and going to sleep again. I changed my icon for all the people that voted and if you aren't happy with the change, I'll change my layout on the 20th. So shut your mouth until then. I know I'm not pleasant right now and I'm sorry. I just feel like crap and I want to go to bed and not have to worry about anything. I want to have a stronger immune system... I get sick all of the time. I think it's because I worry and get depressed all the time. I dunno. And right now I really don't care. I don't feel like posting any pictures up. I have to finish homework... maybe my dog can do it for me...
+Shiyume is tired... of everything+
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