Saturday, March 26, 2005

   SUCCESS!!!
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Haunted by Evanescence

Konnichiwa, minna! I'm so happy today! I'm really sorry I didn't post last night, I had written an post that took me an hour to write, but then the computer shut down on me and everything was lost. -_-; It was horrible. I went on the computer again and took some quizzes and someone said that Amy Lee from Evanescence was a poser! Amy could pimp-slap her any day! If Amy is a poser, I'm the head of the preppist cheeleading squad in the universe. (And I HATE cheerleaders.) The ignorance of some people....

But I got to watch Donnie Darko, Wildboyz, and Viva La Bam last night and it was great! Donnie is SO hot and Frank was awesome. I love Donnie Darko almost as much as I love Edward Scissorhands. I love those shows and movies. They rock! ^_^

Today I got to go to the arcade and play some games. It was okay, but I didn't get to play Dance Dance Revolution and a lot of machines stole my money. Lying cheating SOB's. >_< After that I got to go to the pet's store and play with kawaii chibi nekos and inus. The little kitty I played with the majority of the time was so sweet (he was a black cat ^^) and loving to me. I was so cute when he flopped over on his back and pawed at my nose and hands. It was so much fun playing with him. ^^ Then I got to see The Ring Two! Finally!!! Success!!! I was so happy! I finally got to see Samara-chan. She was so adorable and I felt so sad for her. All she wants is a mom. T.T David Dorfman was great as Aidan once again, he has so much talent. Plus he's really cute and sweet. I love him, he's like a little brother (except one that's not annoying. -_-;). ^^ It was so funny in The Ring Two because Samara (while being in Aidan's body) was watching The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. I love that cartoon. ^^ Also, I got to see it in the theater by myself while my parents watched Miss Congeneality 2. >_< Stupid movie. But I got to see an awesome one!!! ^_________^

Nippon Fever has been canceled. T.T Pink Cherry has not had enough time to run it, so it has been taked down. At least she's not stressed. Good Pink Cherry. *pats her head* ^^

Alright, alright. I know you guys don't really care, so I'll shut up and put up the pictures. Here they are!


D'espairsRay, going old-style.


*stares and drools*


Did I already post this picture up? Oh, well. It's Hizumi!!! ^_^


Hizumi with a doggie! ^^


Hizumi is a god...


Zero with his weird dreadlocks...


Zero without makeup... 0.0


Karyu!!!


He's so weird... I love him. ^^


I want Tsukasa's boots.. T.T


Aw... Tsukasa's so kawaii... :P

Sorry all the images were of D'espairsRay, but I just found a great gallery and I couldn't resist! ^^ Well, I hope everyone has a great Easter (to those who are Christian) and have a great day! Sayonara! ^^
+Shiyume+
Comments (4) | Permalink

Thursday, March 24, 2005

   Spring Break!!!
Current mood: Happy
Current Song: Obscure by Dir en Grey

Konnichiwa, my friends! I'm so happy because it's Spring Break... no school tommorow or all next week! Happy I am. ^^ Perhaps now I can watch Donnie Darko sit in front of the television, watching non-stop hours of anime while listening to j-rock. Ah, haven. ^-^ I've gotten really into Dracula lately. Everyone is freaking out because I'm reading it and they keep on asking stupid questions like "Is Dracula real?" I just smiled to show my sharpest teeth and said, "In some souls..." It freaked them out. It was awesome. :P Here is one really good part of the book that I really enjoy. It's where Jonathan Harker finds Count Dracula in his coffin sleeping, after a meal: "A terrible desire came upon me to rid the world of such a monster. There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face. Bt as I did so the head turned, and the eyes feel full upon me, with all their blaze of basilisk horro. The sight seemed to paralyse me, and the shovel turned in my hand and glanced from the face, merely making a deep gash above the forehead. The shovel fell from my hand across the box, and as I pulled it away the flange of the blade caught the edge of the lid, which fell over again, and hid the horrid thing from my sight. The last glimpse I had was of the bloated face, bloodstained and fixed with a grin of malice which would have held its own in the nethermost hell." Good, ne? I imagine Count Dracula in the image of Gary Oldman in the movie Bram Stoker's Dracula.


I must say, he is quite attractive for an Englishman. ^^

Aaron has not been as bad to bloodandtears as much as he had been lately. I was really worried about her today, she looked so sad. It worried me so much that I drew a pentacle on her hand and performed a quick spell to help her. Sad, ne? -_-; Hopefully on Easter I will be able to go with her to this Sakura celebration that her mother's friend is hosting. She's so lucky thats she's half-japanese. She's pretty, has wit, is bilingual, and partakes in one of the best cultures in the world. Lucky devil she is. ^^ But it's not stopping this baka Amerikajin!!!

I found a really good website today, it's based on the goth/underground culture and allows you to put up your own profile and speak to other goths. It's an excellent site and I love it. Click here to visit Vampirefreaks.com! Be sure to visit it, I promise that you trip will not be in vain. Well, I don't believe I have anything to talk about. Here are the pictures!!!


Malice Mizer... *drools*


Sugoi... they are all so hot...


Dir en Grey in a Buddist temple. ^^


Good Goddess! Toshiya! 0.0


Ah... Mana-sama...


I wish I had pretty clothes like Mana... T.T


Oh... Hizumi... *melts*


Hizumi vamp-style.


I love my kawaii bishonen. :P


It's a doggie!!! *short attention span*

Well, there are your daily pictures. I think I'm going to read some more. Sorry for updating so late. *yawns* Good night...
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

   Grrness...
Current Mood: Angry
Current Song: Raison Detre by Dir en Grey

I had to wait 3 whole hours to get on the computer because my mother was on it and there was a really bad storm. I was so bored that I drew a picture of Naraku, practiced my Japanese, played Kingdom Hearts, and listened to Nine Inch Nails. I think I might have drooled on myself a little bit... -_-; I should have watched Donnie Darko instead of laying around like an idiot. Then I could smile everytime Frank came on.


Frank!!! *hugs* ^_^

I feel really bad today. I found out that this boy named Randy who goes to my school cut himself and tried to commit suicide. I used to think he was an annoying crackhead and I would make fun of him all of the time. I'm part of the reason of his misery. I've become the ones who have drived me to insanity. I am the hate I try to hide. I am nothing. I felt so bad for him. I tried to talk to him and I threatened to kick his butt if he didn't stop. I know what it's been like. I know what it feels to hurt... I don't want him to go through the same pain I did. I can't believe he hid it so well. It was all behind a smile. I never thought to look inside his eyes... where the reflection of your soul lays. I feel terrible.

On the other hand, there is a boy named Aaron that I hate that I want to kill. He's been treating bloodandtears like crap and is talking to her dirtily. It's absurd! Porky (Aaron) shall die... >_< He's been calling bloodandtears and I Satanic because we had a pentacle with the sign of Wicca on our hands- the pentacle- where the sign of Satanic worship- the pentagram- were not. He kept on putting his fingers in the form of a cross and screaming "Devil worshipers! Devil worshipers!" I hate him... >_< If he gets bloodandtears upset ONE MORE TIME, I will have to perform a spell that will have grave consequences...



Last night all I could do was stare at Naraku and Sesshomaru (InuYasha). I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm in love with anime characters! XD I mean, it's okay if you think they're hot and everything, but it's to the point of obsession. Naraku and Sesshomaru... *drools* Speaking of InuYasha, there was this girl on MyO who was screaming at me because I prefered one InuYasha character over another. I hate it when people are stupid like that and are pro-nazis. They hate someone for their beliefs. Hopefully their karma will come back to them and they will pay their punishments in the afterlife. Anyway, I will stop being vain and give you the promised pics. Here you go! ^-^


Kyo-sama! *glomps* :P


Aw... it's Mana and his nephew. ^^


Yomi-sama! The crazy hentai bishonen we all love. ^^


MANA-SAMA!!! *glomps*



Sesshomaru-sama and Jaken. *eye twitches* Jaken... >_<


*drools* Naraku... *bows and glomps*


Kawaii! ^o^ It's Sesshomaru as a little boy...


Sesshomaru in his full form. Hey... he kinda looks like my dog... if he had rabies... ^^;

Well, I must go now. Dinner is ready. Sayonara!
Comments (5) | Permalink

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

   Konnichiwa, homies!!!
Mood: Reasonably Happy
Current Song: Please by Nine Inch Nails

Hello, everyone. I had a pretty good day today. Most the only thing that made me unhappy is that I had an orchestra that took about 45 minutes to prepare for but we only played 3 songs... -_-; Also my brother was being a butt and was talking about how much he hated Naraku (InuYasha) and we kept on fighting. It was kind of fun... :P


XD *drools*


Hahaha!!! It's so cute! ^_^

Anyhow, I've seemed to be obsessed with Trent Reznor this past couple of weeks. He great and all, and I love his to death, but it's become quite freakish and odd. It's sort of starting to scare me now.... o.0


Aw... someone needs a hug...

You like my new background? Everyone voted for Dir en Grey, so this is my new theme now. I always loved this background because Kyo is so crazed looking yet cute while eating that pie. You can never go wrong with Kyo-sama. Oh, also, my icon is from Slipknotrulez's page. If you haven't been there, please go to her site! She's an excellent person and is really funny and nice. Also, be sure not to get me and her mixed up. (Just kidding, GwarSyndicate. You know I love you. *hugs*) :P Ano, my day has been filled of thinking of j-rockers and Naraku, just like any other day. It was so funny last night when bloodandtears and I went to our brother's boyscouts meeting and she was teasing me about that because we were talking about Naraku's hana (Please PM me if you wish to know what that is. ^_^). She laughed whenever she teased me too.

Today I messed with my rose to make sure it would last longer. If you put a asprin in the water, it will make the flower last longer. Don't use Tylenol or anything else, just asprin and one. I also cut the stem shorter so it could drink better. Sorry... I'm rambling on now, aren't I? I'm just so facinated with nature and Wicca and everything, so I get sort of obsessive... -_-; And my rose is pretty! ^-^

Here are the daily pictures. I have to get off the computer soon, so there won't be many. Here they are. Enjoy. ^^


Kyo-sama!!! :P


Ahh!!! Kaoru is wearing his alien hat! ^^


Aw... Kyo's so kawaii! ^o^


Iie! Kyo-sama looks unhappy! T.T


Kawaii! Kyo is playing with his neko. ^^


Toshiya-kun and Kyo-sama. :P


I love the safety pins on Kyo's face. ^^

Okay, I gotta go now. And I have a new icon. Visit SlipknotRulez's site anyway, minna! Sayonara!
+Shiyume+
Comments (3) | Permalink

Monday, March 21, 2005

   Happy Birthday, Mana!!!
Mood: Frustrated
Current Music: "StarF---ers Inc. by Nine Inch Nails

Okay, today isn't Mana's birhtday, Saturday was. I'm so upset! I forgot his birthday!!! I'm so sorry, Mana-kun! T.T Anyhow, here are some pictures of him to celebrate his birthday. Behold and adore his greatness. ^^


He looks like a peacock. :P


He looks so good in blue. ^^


Aw... that's a kawaii kimono!


I wish I was as pretty as Mana. T.T


Aw... roses. ^^


He looks like he's covered in snow...


So beautiful...


My favorite picture of Mana... I love his guitar!


Aw... he's like a little teddy bear... I wanna hug him.


Welcome back to the old ages...

Anyhow, I'm sorry about the post yesterday. Yesterday I had a really bad day because I had to go hiking over half a mile yesterday and my parents were being ugly to me so I went to bed at 6:30. Today started out badly but it got better as the day went on, thank the Goddess. It was really bad because I fell on butt when I tried to get into the car and dirt got all over my courduroy pants that I love. Luckily, they came out alright. Report card day. Ugh. I got all A's except for one C in Sciecnce because we're doing work that my father was doing when he was a senior in highschool. Stupid teachers. But I on the bus I talked to my friend Lisa and I finished my homework, so when I got home I was able to watch television and read my book, Witches' Night Out, which is a book about Wicca and was really good. If you're intrested in the Craft, you really need to read it. My father gave me a rose when I came home because he said that he knew that I have been sad lately and he wanted to cheer me up. I was so happy I almost cried. It was right beside me for quite a while. Anyhow, I went to my brother's boyscouts ceremony and I got to talk to bloodandtears. She got to see The Ring Two before I did... grrr... I still haven't seen it. T.T While we were there, we were babbling about chicken and j-rockers and Naraku and all different kinds of things. I feel really bad for her because this guy named Aaron (who we nickname Porky) is hitting on her and is utterly disgusting. Baka hentai. >_<" It was really funny because she was doodling on a napkin and we were making fun of Porky, she was making fun of Naraku T.T, and she was drawing random things like a monkey. It was really funny because I brought the 13th manga of InuYasha and she kept on teasing me with the picture of Naraku almost naked because she knows I adore him. I kept on turning red. ^^; I changed my background back to D'espairsRay because Shintoga was upset that I changed my icon. Are you happy now, Tyrell? :P Ano, I need help deciding on my next background. Please vote in your comment, okay? Arigato!!!

+Naraku from InuYasha
+Mana from Malice Mizer
+Due le Quartz
+Dir en Grey

Well, there are your choices. I must be going now. Sayonara, minna!
Comments (4) | Permalink

Sunday, March 20, 2005

   I hate everything
I was going to update but the computer keeps crashing and my mom only gave me half an hour on the computer and yelled at me for her not telling me when to get off. I hate my parents. I wish I stayed at my friend's house forever so I wouldn't have to deal with my family. Kill me now.
Comments (3) | Permalink

Friday, March 18, 2005

   Konnichiwa, my homies.
The Ring Two RELEASES TODAY!!! ^__^

I am feeling much better today than I was yesterday. And LaceratedWings was right, I am being whiny. There are people all over the world that are in far more pain than I am and I need to be thankful for what I have. Plus, The Ring Two comes out today!!! ^_^ Hehe!!! I freaked my father out badly whenever I saw the title in the movie theater. He just shook his head...


Too much t.v. can be bad for you... ^^

It's FRIDAY!!! Thank the Goddess. I don't think I could take any more school... X_X And plus, I can practice some more of my Wicca! ^-^ I may be a witch, but I am a happy one. If you have anything against my religion and beliefs, I suggest you leave immediatly before I shall have to hurt you... >_< My daddy is going to bring his Nine Inch Nails cd to let me hear it. Hai! Nine Inch Nails rock... I love him. But today I forgot to ask my mom for lunch money or to ask her to pack my lunch so I didn't eat today so I read my book, Witches' Night Out by Silver RavenWolf (a well known Wiccan author), which is a really good book. I highly recommend it. I got to talk to bloodandtears and my friends Lisa, Rachel, Korkalia, and Mellisa. I have had a good day so far... I just hope I can go see The Ring Two!!! Ugh... I gotta go eat something now... I got a headache... X_X
Comments (6) | Permalink

Thursday, March 17, 2005

   ...
1 day until The Ring Two

Yesterday I watched The Ring. At least THAT went right for me. Today we had a two hour delay because of snow. I was happy. Then it melted. My mom went ballistic because she lost her keys and she screamed and she said horrible things about different people. I wanted to cut myself. Then I kept on thinking about my ex-boyfriend again. I didn't bring my viola for orchestra because I didn't think we would need it and then, of course, I needed it. My math teacher was being evil and started picking on me because I got a problem wrong because I wasn't at school yesterday and she persisted on embarassing me. I have tons of make-up work, but luckily, I've finished it. I was so depressed that I had to go to the bathroom to cry. I couldn't take it. I feel like my whole world is crumbling. I'm sorry for whatever I did to deserve this. I just want the pain to go away. I just want it to go away...



"She just wants to be heard..." -Rachel from The Ring.
Comments (6) | Permalink

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

   Gomen nasai, minna.
2 days until The Ring Two

I'm really sorry, that I haven't updated, everyone. I've just been busy and really depressed lately. I feel really bad about not being on the computer, I'm a horrible Otaku and I apologize. Please forgive me. *bows* Gomen nasai.

Yesterday was horrible. All I could think about was my ex-boyfriend. I still love him even though I pretend that I don't. I can never get him off of my mind. I thought about him so much is that I wrote on my hand about him.... how disgusting, revolting, and pathetic. I can't believe what a fool I am. It's unexcusable. The past is the past and it is out of my control but at the same time I know that is all of my fault. I broke up with him and I didn't realize how much I loved him until I didn't have him anymore. My heart aches. The mistakes I've made will never be able to be forgotten or forgiven. It's all my fault... it's all my fault. My stupidity has droven me to the edge. It's all my fault and I'm drowning in my tears.



Also, last night a great tragedy happened. When we were eating dinner last night I gave my dog a piece of bread and he coughed a little bit, but I ignored it because he does it all the time. He then walked over to my mother and he flopped over on the ground. I laughed at him because I thought he was being cute and clumsy and then the horror revieled itself. He didn't move. He wasn't breathing. I started screaming bloody murder. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't hear anything except for my screams. All I could think was, "Gods, I killed my dog. I killed my dog. I killed my dog. And I laughed at him. I killed him and laughed..." My mother took him in her arms and shook him wildly but he flailed in her arms uselessly like a rag doll. The scene still haunts me and is fresh like blood on my tongue. I won't go away... My father pushed on his diaphram and blew into his nose. My mother finally pried open his mouth and blew into it and he blinked. He was restored. All I could do was cry and hug my dog. I couldn't do anything else. The world stopped moving for a while. And once again, it was all of my fault. I ran into the bathroom and cried and I wanted a razor or a knife so badly... it was my fault and I deserved to be punished. I told my parents that I wanted to cut myself and they let me get a piece of ice to rub on my arm, which would give me almost the same sensation of cutting but wouldn't hurt me. I'm a monster. Everything's my fault. I'm a mistake... I didn't go to school today I'm so upset. All I want to do is watch my dog breathe. I want to tell myself it was all a bad dream... that this nightmare will fade...



Please wake me up.
Comments (5) | Permalink

Saturday, March 12, 2005

   X_X
Hello, peoples. Guess what? I'm on Google, baby!!! I typed in D'espairsRay and my site popped up! I feel so special... ToT Anyhow, this weekend has been... intresting so far. My family and I went to dinner on Friday and my brother and I fought the entire time because he was acting retarted and it really gets on my nerves. My parents weren't too pleased... -_-; Anyhow, after dinner we went to Media Play and unfortunatly I didn't get Ramune. T.T Woe to me... anyhow, I got the newest Yu Yu Hakusho DVD for my friend's birthday because she is in love with Kurama. She's so obsessed that she licks the TV screen everytime he comes on. It's quite funny, yet sad, really. ^o^



While we were there, my father found a magazine called Goth Beauty and he bought it for me. It was really intresting because it had all these really cool articles on different things on gothic fasion, music, different ways to show your respect towards the deceased, crafts to give as gifts, and a lot of other things. I really enjoyed it. After that, we went to Blockbuster and I hugged my beloved tree. It's so cool. ^^ While I was there I looked at all of the horror and anime sections and only saw select few DVDs that caught my attention. I want to get Vampire Hunter D sometime. We got Evil Dead 2, which was a great sequel to the incredible Evil Dead. If you guys haven't seen the movies, YOU NEED TO. They are great. After I picked out the movie I ventured to the game section and gawked at Resident Evil 4. I want to get that SO BAD, but it's $50. I don't have that kind of money and there is no way on this Earth that my parents would buy that for me. Stupid prices... >_< Anyhow, it was really embarassing when we checked out the movies and the guy at the counter saw me hugging the tree and was picking on me about it. I could feel my face turn as red as a strawberry. My dad and I stayed up watching Evil Dead 2 and the extras until around 2:00 and then he finally made me go to bed. Darn. >_< This morning my dad woke me up at 1:00 this afternoon with my Sesshomaru plushie. I love it, it's so huggable and kawaii. ^-^ But today basically all I did was go eat lunch, get issue #2 of I Feel Sick (a great comic book for goths, I highly suggest it), see Be Cool (which was pretty funny), and go to Best Buy and play that Donkey Kong bongo game-thingy. It was really fun but afterwards I payed the price because I was all achey in my neck and arms. T.T Stupid game. I think I've covered almost everything... oh yeah! Kei-chan has now moved to an account called Pink Cherry. Please click here to visit this account. Well, I'll shut up now. Here are the pics!


It's my boys! ^o^


One of my favorite pics of Hizumi-san... ^^


Stare into the eyes of Zero! @.@


Hitsugi with scissors... scary. 0.0


Watch out! Yomi's gonna eat you!


Aw... I want Sakito's necklace...


Aw... Kikasa is so kawaii.


Miyavi is so cool...

Sorry for the lack of pics, I gotta go. We're going to Blockbuster again. -_-; I hope the guy who saw me hug the tree isn't there again... Sayonara, my homies!
Comments (6) | Permalink