Friday, March 11, 2005

   Due le Quartz...
Hello, everyone. I've been watching Due le Quartz's "Rodeo" numerous times today, so I have decided to share it's greatness with all of you. Here is the link to the video. (Please be patient, it may take a while for the video to load, but it's well worth the wait. ^^) I love it because Miyabi, Sakito, and Kikasa look so sexxy in it! I love it. :P Also, it makes my parents motion sick. It's really funny. ^^

Yay! No school today! I'm so relieved. It's not Spring Break (curses! >_<) but at least I get a day off. I don't get Spring Break until Easter... stupid school. >=( Today my brother worked me up at 1:30 and I was really angry. I stayed up until 12:30 last night and I was having really good sleep! Stupid brother... Today he looked up "chicken legs" on AskJeeves.com. I have no idea why my brother is so obsessed with chicken legs, I find it really odd and somewhat annoying. And he calls me weird... Last night I got to watch Jackass and a little bit of Wild Boyz on MTV2. I hate MTV and I only watch it for the shows like that. Once they had the Happy Tree Friends Christmas Special. It was great. ^^ All it is a bunch of fluffy little cute creatures getting the crap beat out of them, usually killed. It's awesome. But on Jackass last night it was so funny because they had Johnny Knoxville wear a cup and go through a series of tests to see if it works. They even used a slegehammer. It was so funny. ^^ The only girls I know that like Jackass are my cousin and myself. Sad, eh? T.T Today has been pretty slow, but it's way better than school. The prison that our government holds us in... anarchists need to tear it down. I hate that place. *shudders* Lalala... I've been listening to Nine Inch Nails, Dir en Grey, and Due le Quartz all day today. That's basically everything I've done. Hopefully my parents will take me to Media Play and I can get some Ramune! Yum... :P



Well, here are the daily pics, everyone. Hope you enjoy. ^^


Aw... Sakito is so kawaii. ^^


Kazuki in purple.


I love Kikasa's hair...


Miyabi-kun!!! ^_^


You just have to love Dir en Grey. :P


Once I dyed my hair blue like Hizumi's... but then it washed out... cheap crap... T.T


Aw... Toshiya, naughty, naughty! ~_^


*drool*......


Heh heh... ^-^


I love D'espairsRay. ^^

Well, there you are. I must be going now because I'm sort of hungry... :/ I forgot to eat lunch today... Ja ne!
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Thursday, March 10, 2005

   Konnichiwa, minna.
Hello, everyone. Sorry for being all weird and crap in the last post. I was just angry because no one knows about D'espairsRay!!! The ignorance!!! >_< Anyway, I had a decent day. I felt really bad for bloodandtears though because she got grounded again for ignoring her mother and she had a hole in the crotch of her pants. We traded jackets and it was really funny because she's shorter and smaller than I am so she was walking around in a jacket that was too big and I was walking around in a jacket that was too tight on my boobs and shoulders. At least it looks cool. -_-; I'm spazing out over plaid for some reason. I wanted to find this really prissy plaid dress my grandmother gave me a few years ago to "alternate" it. I couldn't find it. T.T Anyhow, it was really funny because I brought the manga of The Ring to school and everyone was like "Is that the movie?" I glared at them and showed them a picture of Samara/Sadako's skull and walked off. Idiots. They really need to do more background checks on things. Right now I'm listening to "Color Me Blood Red" by Malice Mizer. I love it. ^-^ "Beast of Blood" is way better though. Today was the last day of school this week, thank god. I was going to kill someone if I had to stay any longer. Preferably everyone in the school except for all of my friends and the only cool teacher there who is a gothic hippie. I love her. ^^ Too bad she only teaches 6th grade, though... T.T I realized that I've been listening to Nine Inch Nails a whole lot more than usual. "Head Like a Hole" on playing in my mind. I love it. ^^ I feel really sorry for Kei-chan. She keeps on tanning and she's hispanic so it's WAY worse for her. Poor thing. *hugs* One day the sun will die... Hizumi is so hot... eh, sorry. Daydreaming. ^^ Oh, it was so fun in Aikido tonight because we were doing this kada where I spun around and I felt like Mana in the "Beast of Blood" where he spins around. If only I were wearing a fluffy dress instead of a gi. -_-; Tommorow is my friend's birthday and the only thing I got her is strawberry pocky so far. I'm such a bad friend... -_-; Hey... I get to stay up and watch Family Guy tonight! Yay, I get to see Stewie, my homie! :D




Hee hee. ^^ Here are some pics of D'espairsRay since you guys think they look pretty hot. :P


Heh... I want a haircut like that!


Hizumi... *drools*


Karyu, my homie! We like the same things and we agree on our favorite colors! I love him! ^^


Sugoi... Zero has some trippy hair in that pic... 0.0


Aw... Tsukasa. So kawaii. ^^

Okay, that's all I can do right now. I just found a J-rock graphics site!!! *sqeals* Sayonara!
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   IIIIEEEE!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
T.T I can't find D'espairsRay MP3s on the web that I can put on my site anywhere. And I had to change the background because I accidentally linked it directly. T.T Curse all the peoples who don't appreciate D'espairsRay... I will go whimper in my own little corner of despair now... T.T
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Wednesday, March 9, 2005

   New Layout... D'espairsRay.
Konnichiwa, minna. Sorry I was so depressive, I think it was post-PMS. >_< It sucks being a chick. Anyhow, I'm pretty much better today except that I had to finish tons of make-up work for science and yesterday I spent three and a half hours finishing this stupid poetry project. Also, my math, homebase, and social studies teacher (I hate that evil ba'san... >=() was being really mean today. She screamed at me for because I was doing what I was SUPPOSED TO DO and she called on me when I was daydreaming but still paying attention. It's not my fault my binder decorated with j-rock pictures is distracting... ^^

As you can all see, I have changed my layout. It's Hizumi-sama from D'espairsRay! I think Kei-chan and I are the only people on MyO that know about them... -_-; But aren't they spiffy looking? They rock and Hizumi-san is soooo hot and has a great voice. I love him! ^^ To hear them, go to Nippon Fever to listen to D'espairsRay's best song (in my opinion), Sexual Beast. It rocks! ^o^ Ugh... I spent forever searching for the perfect wallpaper. First I searched through Dir en Grey wallpapers, Malice Mizer wallpapers, some other j-rock wallpapers and then I finally found some D'espairsRay wallpapers. It took me like two hours until I found a site... -_-;

I'm really happy today. Purgatory is much better and she isn't feeling suicidal or anything. I was really worried for a while and now I don't have to! ^_^ Also, Kei-chan got on MyO today. Her Kaoru-sama background is so beautiful! I love Kaoru... not more than Kyo-sama, though. ^^ My dog is feeling better and his arthritis isn't as bad as it was. I was really worried for a while because he's so old and I'm afraid that he's going to... die. He's been with me since before I was born and I don't know what I'd do if that happened. He is able to wag his tail now and he wants to play with his toys. I'm so glad. ^^ I love my dog. He is so cute. He's an American Eskimo Spitz and is really fluffy. He loves bloodandtears and everytime she comes over to my house he is so happy. I love my little kawaii inu. *huggles* ^-^ Last but certainly not least, on Friday I have no school. A three day weekend! Yay! A day of laziness and I don't have to deal with the annoying teachers. I hate them... >_<

Alright, everyone. Here are some pics of D'espairsRay because I love them and they are so hot. ^^


Hizumi... *drools*


The entire group! *sqeals*


^^ Awesome.


Aww... Hizumi is so kawaii.


Karyu! My homie. :P


ZERO!!! *glomps*


Ooh... Tsukasa-san...


A D'espairsRay Shockage flyer


Sugoi... aka and kuro... my favorite colors.

I gotta go. My okasan says so. Crap. T.T Well, I guess I better get off before my mother kills me. Sayonara!
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Tuesday, March 8, 2005

   Hello, what's your name? I believe I've lost mine...
Hello. I feel numb today. Why is it coming like this? Last night I couldn't take my mind off of my ex-boyfriend. I kept on thinking about our first kiss together... I even wore the bracelet he gave today. Pathetic, eh? I just can't erase him from my past. My relationships always end up this way... Yesterday at my psychiatrist, I had to name all of the things I hated about myself and explain why I felt that way. I ended up crying for no reason. I guess it was because I wouldn't feel numb. I can feel my eye ache when I cry. Last night I cried when I thought about my ex-boyfriend too. He told me he loved me countless times and then he would ignore me at school. I know that he would want to keep our relationship a secret, but it hurt. Deeply. Today seemed to drag on forever. I wish it was the end of the world. It took me about 4 hours to finish a poetry project for reading. At least I got to listen to Dir en Grey and D'espairsRay. I hurt, but at the same time I can't feel it. Like when you're foot's asleep and you feel pain rush through it. I can't describe it... I don't know what to do. I think I'll rub ice on my wrists and snap rubber bands across my wrists to keep my mind off of cutting. Bad habit.


I feel that the other me is rising inside of me...

Sorry the post was so short. I had to post on bloodandtears's site and I had to finish that stupid project. I'll try making it longer tommorow. Sayonara.
+Shiyume is in her own DeathDream+
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Monday, March 7, 2005

   Tasuke...
Help... please. I'm really worried about Purgatory. She keeps on wanting to cut herself. I've been dragged down by that sickness before and it's not a pleasant thing. Please, someone help me to help her. I don't want her to cut herself. I don't want her to die. Just please... help. I've been thinking about things... who are we to judge everyone? Who are we to judge everything? What are we? Yes, we are shells made of skin and bone and filled with blood, but behind that primitave view of humans, there is so much more. There is sorrow. There is anger. There is love. There is doubt. We have dreams. We have hopes. Someone doesn't just give it to us, we aquire it ourselves. We're fragile things, if touched the wrong way, we shall break. We have tears that flow from our eyes and blood that flows through our veins. Humans are intresting, yet vile things. We ridicule and torture each other just to see them squirm. What kind of organism does that? We are nothing but barbarians, cannibals, and fools. There is no arguing about it. We are just a pile of flesh waiting to rot.


Come to me, my child. Let me embrace you and wash away your fears. There are no shadows in my love.

Life sucks. But we have to get through it and help each other. We can perhaps break through that disgusting shell we are reclused in and show that we do have a good side to us and we're not all that bad. Don't take life so seriously. No one gets out alive.

Sorry if I was really depressing in this post. I'm just being all psychological and crap like that.



See you guys later.
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Sunday, March 6, 2005

   Konnichiwa, minna.
Hey, everyone. Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I got really angry because I wrote an entire update and then my computer shut down on me when I opened a new window and it erased it all. I hate my computer. >_< Anyhow, on Friday night, I went to Blockbuster and I got to hug my tree! I love my tree... ^^ Trees are sexy! (Inside joke between bloodandtears and I.) We rented Evil Dead, which was an awesome movie! It scared me even though it was made in 1982, where computer generation was never heard of. It was everyone's first real film who was in the movie and Sam Raimi was the director. Sam Raimi was the director of The Grudge and Spiderman. It was great, I highly suggest it to anyone who hasn't seen it. It's what a horror movie is supposed to be made of- sheer talent and sick minds. On Saturday I practiced my Japanese for over an hour and we went to go eat Thai. It was really yummy and the manager there is always nice to my family. ^^ We went to Target after that. Ugh... whenever my family goes to Target we're there for hours... -_-; I got to look at the hair dye though and I was staring at the black-blue hair dye and the purple-reddish hair dye. I'm tired of my crap colored brown hair. >_< My parents dragged me to the movie theaters and we had to see The Pacifier. It was torture. The movie sucked and my mother kept on talking about how hot Vin Diesel is. Disgusting. @_@ Luckily, at the movie theaters they had this really cool poster for The Ring Two at the theater and it the picture switched from Samara to Aiden whenever you looked at it from a different angle. I love The Ring.


This is what the poster looked like. Isn't Samara cute? ^_^

We got to go to a comic book store after that and they have the cutest Sesshomaru plushie. I love the one I have, but the plushie they have there is about the size of a small dog. Too bad it's $30. T.T I can't wait until they come out with a Naraku plushie in America because over the internet they're $35. T.T I don't have that money and plus my parents don't let me shop over the internet. Curse them! We went to Media Play after that and wondered around in the Otaku section. They had the cutest Yusuke plushie there! I almost hugged it but I would only do that with Kurama or Hiei plushies. Too bad they don't have them. T.T I remember once when bloodandtears and I went to a Media Play and she licked all of the Sesshomaru plushies there. It was hilarious. ^^ The InuYasha episode on Saturday didn't suck because InuYasha was really cute in it! ^^ This old lady who was trying to be a demon exorsist threw purifying salt at him and he kept on hiding behind Kagome. It was so kawaii. ^o^ Today my brother went to a birthday party so I didn't have to deal with him. Yes! We got to go to Pier 1 Imports and I bought a bamboo mat, four pairs of chopsticks and chopstick holders, and a chinese coin windchime. Asian crap rocks. :P We got to go to the movies agian and we saw Constantine. We missed the begining because the stupid people at the movie theater played it too early. >_< It was really cool though. The special effects rocked and it gave an intresting perspective of life. I really liked it. Now I'm home and typing this....

Yesterday was Hitsugi's (from Nightmare) birthday and I feel really bad that I didn't do anything for him. T.T Oh, well. I'm sure bloodandtears did enough celebrating for the both of us. ~_^ Here are some pictures of him to celebrate.


Aw... how sweet. ~.^


Hitsugi with his dogs and Yomi.


I love this picture. ^^


Hitsugi with his little kawaii neko. ^o^


I want contacts like that...


Ooh... spiffy.


I like his hat.


Aw... it's bloodandtears and my bishonens. ^-^


Watch out! Hitsugi's gonna eat the camera! o.0


Aw... lookit! I want a paper hat like that. ^^


Awesome outfit. :P

Okay, my computer time is up, I gotta go. Stupid time limit. >_< See you guys tommorow!
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Friday, March 4, 2005

   The horrible truth...
I now know why I have been so hyper and upbeat lately. Instead of taking my 150 miligram dosage of Wellbutrin, I have been accidentaly taking my mother's 300 miligram dose! Hopefully I be back to what I call "normal" soon. X_X I've been thinking about Jhonen Vasquez a lot lately and have been reciting lines from Invader Zim a lot. Here is a picture of him.



Who0t! I love Jhonen. He's the creator of Invader Zim, Johnny The Homicidal Manic, B.A.C. (Bad Art Collection), I Feel Sick, Squee, and Filler Bunny. Wow. That's a lot of stuff. 0.0 I've also been listening to Nine Inch Nails a lot lately too. I guess it's because Trent is singing in English and I can understand everything he's saying. I want to speak Japanese so badly, but I'm stupid. T.T Curse it all. Today bloodandtears and I were really hyper because she didn't get any sleep and she's hyper when she doesn't and after I took the 300 miligram dosage, I realized that it was the wrong type of Wellbutrin. It's so funny because bloodandtears and I make fun of my depression medication, Paxil and Wellbutrin. Paxil sounds like some type of retarted computer program and Wellbutrin sounds like a nun's name. It's so fun to make fun of them. ^^ In reading class we're studying poetry and we have to write 10 poems for a project. I already knocked down 3 today. But it was really funny because I wrote this sad and depressing poem and it worried my teacher. It's about a Japanese legend that when ever it snows, the Snow princess is crying. I thought it was a really good idea for a poem. I'll post it up.

Snow Princess
Sorrow in her eyes
Cold beloved at her side
Her tear drenched face
Is one you can't erase
The Snow princess must be crying
The ground blanketed in snow
I wish this deep pain would go
Death never ends
The cold tears she sends
The Snow princess must be crying

It sucks but my teachers will eat right out of my palm sometimes, so it's good enough. It was really funny today because we had a celebration today for the "good students" and bloodandtears and I were invited, and plus we got out of 7th period! Yeehaw! It was retarted but I'll take hanging out with bloodandtears than going to school any day. We went to the cafeteria and we could do whatever we wanted as long as we didn't violate school rules and we got cake or popcorn. I got popcorn and bloodandtears got cake and I shared the popcorn with her. I also didn't eat lunch today, so I was kinda hungry. >_< It was funny because I was babbling about Naraku and then she told me about this picture that she saw on MyO and it was a picture of Naraku with his eyes cut out and moving eyes put there instead and he went cross-eyed and stuff. She laughed about it when she was drinking and she choked and laughed at the same time so I couldn't help but burst out laughing and we were laughing so hard that people were staring at us. It was great. ^^ After that we got bored and drew on out napkins and I drew an eye and then she drew a dog that said, "Hello. My name is Polly Prissy Pants." She's so weird, but then again I have no room to talk. :P We saw some boys and girls facing each other and it looked like they were about to fight. It was awesome. Then I started complaining about my period and I showed her how my pads were sticking out of my pocket. I took the pad out of my pocket and waved it in the air and went, "Look, everyone!" No one saw it but bloodandtears but I thought she was going to die. Her face was bright red from laughing so hard and she almost fell down. I would feel bad if she were to fall because of me. T.T Then when I went on the bus, I had a lovely conversation with my friend Lisa. She's Hmong but she knows how to speak and write in Korean and she likes J-rock and anime. We were babbling on the bus about all the different j-rockers we liked and all different types of Japanese things. We even talked about Ramune and Pocky. -_-; Lisa's really nice and funny and it's cute how friendly she is. She's like a puppy, she always wants to be by your side. ^^ Tommorow bloodandtears has to go skiing with a group of Japanese people that her mother teaches. Let's just say she's NOT looking forward to it. Poor thing. Also, tommorow is Hitsugi's birthday, so I'll be celebrating and telling it to everyone. I hope we get to go to Blockbuster soon... I miss the tree there. He loves me and I love him. I miss him. (Yes, I'm a treehugger, so what?! I'm also a treekisser!) T.T I'll shut up and give you guys what you really came here for- pictures!


Sugoi! What a wicked banner! I like it. ^^


Kyo and his neko. How kawaii. :P


The band in their Jessica PV.


Sorry, this pic is kinda fuzzy. -_-;


This is a Mana cosplayer. They did a good job, ne? ^.^


Wow! This Sesshomaru cosplayer did an awesome job compared to some of the others I've seen. Plus, he has spiffy contacts! ^^


All of the boys this time with Khala.


Oh, what a cool outfit! I like the black angel wings, I had some like those for Halloween last year.


Alright, if you attempt to make a doll look like Mana, you have WAY too much spare time on your hands.


I love Mana. He rocks. ^_^

Okay, minna. That is all for today. Ja ne!
+Shiyume+
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Thursday, March 3, 2005

   Hello, my filthy stink children. (^_^)
Hello, everyone. I think my insanity has been slacking because I'm not babbling as much as I was. I'm really consearned about bloodandtears. She keeps on doing this thing when she gets really depressed and she doesn't know. Then the next day she's fine. It consearns me and I can't do anything to cheer her up. I even mentioned Hitsugi and it didn't work! It really worries me, but it's probably PMS since it doesn't happen much. -_-; Today we had two substitutes at school today and they are the ones I love screwing with the most. One teacher is pure evil and has anger problems and if you make the slightest unwanted noise, she screams, "SHUT UP!!!" It's really funny because my friend Dylan couldn't keep his mouth shut if his life depended on it and he kept on getting yelled at and he would just laugh and say, "Pirate monkeys!" or something of that nature. I was bored in math so I took the cap off of my water bottle and held it in my eye with my eyebrow and the skin under my eye and said, "Arr!" Dylan saw me and took a poker chip out of his pocket and attempted to do the same stunt I was doing, but he failed miserably. I was really funny. ^^ The substitute for my science teacher was a guy bloodandtears, Rachel, and I call the Skeleton Man because he looks like a man from a horror book and he scares the crap out of us for some unknown reason. It was so funny in science because everyone was screaming and stuff like that and he kept on saying, "Quiet down, young folk." Like we're gonna do that! Everyone started mimicking him, it was great. The Skeleton Man is so fun to screw with. :P Tommorow bloodandtears and I are invited to this stupid party for students who apparently have "outstanding behavior." We get to bring our own drinks and I can't decide what to bring. Green tea or the unhealthy caffinee-packed coke? I don't know. Yay! Kei-chan has been doing much better with her school work and she is getting over her flu! Hazaah! Unfortunatly, Purgatory has not been so fortunate. She's been having a tough time lately and I feel really bad for her and there is nothing I can do. It makes me really sad. Poor Purgatory... T.T Um... do I have anything else to babble about? Eh... oh, yeah. Eric better play Tekken with Tyrell or he's gonna go crazy!!! Just thought I'd announce that to everyone. ^^ I'll stop stalling, you been very patient. Here are the daily pics.


Hizumi-san from D'espairsRay! ^^


Another pic of Hizumi. :P


All of D'espairsRay. (Zero, my hentai bishie! ^^)


It's fluffy Miyavi! ^-^


Sakito (Due le Quartz) all pimped up in his trippin' feather boa. :P


Miyavi just chillin' with his homie Ronald McDonald.


Aw, lookit! It's a doggie! *short attention span -_-;*


Yomi (Nightmare) as a puppet! How kawaii! ^^


Aww... they like each other! ^_^ (Nightmare pic)


-_-; Nightmare is so crazy...


Kyo-sama is so kawaii... ^^


That's my boy! ~.^


I love this pic!


Kyo may be short, but he could kill you faster than you could laugh at him.


Don't you just love him? ^-^

That's all the pictures I can post up today. Gomen, minna. Ja ne!
+Shiyume+
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Wednesday, March 2, 2005

   Konnichiwa, minna.
Hello, everyone. I am still sleepy and insane, but I am unfortunatly lacking in sleep and sanity. For instance, I wrote "duty=doodie" on my paper in social studies. I showed bloodandtears and she almost burst out laughing. Social studies and science are always fun. ^^ I've been practicing my hirigana like crazy lately and bloodandtears thinks I'm funny because I've been spazing out about Japanese. Today I read some of the chapter about Japan because I wanted to. Hiroshima is so sad... when I go there I will lay a bouqet of roses on the countless graves. T.T So sad. Today I watched one of my InuYasha DVDs in Japanese just to hear some of the words in Japanese. Am I going insane or further into it? -_-; Oh well, my Japanese homies and I can party and ride the short bus together. Like Jun! ^_^


This is from NaeNae's page. ^^ Arigato, Nae-chan!

Anyhow, I am not the only one who has been scary lately. Bloodandtears made a pink decahedron in math today and drew purple flowers on it. o.0 I despise pink, despite when it is sakura. That is different. That is the second time she has done that! It is truly starting to scare me now... she's going all Kagome-ish (from InuYasha) on me! T.T I felt bad for her though because when she made it everyone was screaming, "OMG, she has a soft spot!" No, duh! If anyone ever listened to us babble about j-rock they would have figured that out a long time ago! Bakas. >_<

I'm still babbling about Naraku and bloodandtears hates it and finds it rather annoying. I can't help it, though! It's Naraku's fault for being so hot... ^_~ I like everyone's voice better in Japanese than in English on InuYasha. Sesshomaru seems less uptight in the Japanese version because he is more open to speak improperly. For example, in the English version, when he first meets Rin, he asks, "Where did you get those bruises?" In the Japanese version, he asks, "What's with all the bruises on you?" He's cuter in the Japanese version. ^-^ In Yu Yu Hakusho, I find the Japanese voices rather annoying. Except for Hiei's and perhaps Yusuke's. Yusuke sort of sounds like InuYasha's and Hiei has a really deep voice and in the English version it's... odd. o.0 Sorry Neko-san. -_-;

Today in Social Studies it was really funny because it was Rachel's birthday and just for her, I threw up my arms in the middle of the class and did the "rock on" sign. The teacher didn't even notice, but she thought it was great. At least she's happy. ^^ I feel really bad for bloodandtears because she has to go skiing with a bunch of Japanese students that her mother teaches over the weekend. She has to share a hotel room with her family, another family, and three highschool students. (I think. -_-;) Apparently, she really hates then so she's going to style her hair really freaky to scare them and to celebrate Hitsugi's birthday. Yay, Hitsugi!!! ^_^



Eh... I don't believe I have anything else to babble about. Now for the only good thing about my posts, the pics!


Nightmare, the crazy crackheads! ^^


Iie! Ruka-sama has fallen! T.T


Yomi and Ruka are so kawaii together. ^^ (YAOI. :P)


This picture sort of reminds me of Malice Mizer. ^^


Due le Quartz, my homies! ^_^


hide-sama. We shall remember you forever. T.T


This is when Malice Mizer was with Khala, not Gackt.


This is with Gackt. I showed my psychiatrist my website and she thought Gackt was cool. She should see him with a pot of curry... :P

I have to get off. Pushy parents. >_<
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