myOtaku.com: Aimai-Kagura

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Gender
• Female
Location
• In the monkey that eats your nuts!!!
Member Since
• 2005-01-24
Occupation
• Obsesser, fangirl, headbanger, phycho, etc.
Real Name
• Momo-chan! ^o^

Personal

Achievements
• I know a little Japanese. ^_~
Anime Fan Since
• Before I was a disgusting little embryo. o_O
Favorite Anime
• Too many to type in this little space.
Goals
• Start a j-rock band with Zakuro, become a psychatrist, move to Japan, and help people all over the world. ^^
Hobbies
• Writing, drawing, music, computers, singing, hanging out with ZakuroIro, practicing Wicca, and learning Japanese
Talents
• I can decode dreams! ^^

myOtaku.com: Aimai-Kagura

Monday, January 31, 2005

Gomen Nisai!
Sorry about yesterday's posts. I feel sorry for the people who read my first one, I didn't mean to rant, I just needed to get some anger out. Sorry. The second post was short so I apologize. The reason it was so short is because my cousin/idol called me and talked to me about cutting. (Yes... I cut myself.) But she talked to me about her past experiences and how it began to take over her life. It is the same with me... I can't control it anymore. That's the only thing I want-control. Cutting was the only thing I could control in my life and now I can't. It's an addiction. I burn when I don't and I bleed when I do. Will this ever get better?
I'm going to have to see my new psychiatrist again today. Maybe she'll send me to the hospital. I don't know any more. Nothing matters.
I don't know what to do. I'm completely numb. I just want it to be alright... and I want to go back to when I believed in everything. The world is black and white in my sight. Where is the grey?
Comments (5)

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