Monday, February 28, 2005

   WILL IT NEVER END?!
Okay, I know that Kei-chan told me to shrug it off, but I can't! My parents did it again!!! Yesterday we were watching a commercial for underprivledged children and a picture of a little asian girl smiling really wide came on. I started talking about how cute she was and my mother glared at me and said, "There are people up in the mountains that are starving!" I looked at her and told her that I knew and she said that it seemed like all I cared about was the asians! How dare she! I care about less fortunate people all over the world! If bloodandtears and I become famous, we plan on donating money to people and animals all over the world that don't have the riches like normal people and we have been planning things like that ever since 5th grade. In 5th grade, we were planning on building a school and making it a pleasant atmosphere. And I know for a fact that I give more money to charities than she does and I'm only a teenager. She had no right to talk to me like I was heartless. Also, my father was watching Braveheart and he said that if he could, he would grow out his hair to Braveheart's length. I looked at him skeptically and said, "And you pick on my j-rockers why about their hair?" He got really angry and he started screaming about how they style their hair like women, wear dresses, wear high heels, and crap like that. IT'S THEIR CHOICE AND THIS IS WHAT I LIKE SO THEY NEED TO SHUT THEIR FREAKING MOUTHS!!! After that I shut myself in my room and listened to Dir en Grey and finished coloring Kyoko's kimono and wings. Then they acted like nothing happened. When we went to Jack in the Box for lunch, they asked me what was wrong. WHAT KIND OF IMBECILE FOOL WOULD ASK THAT AFTER WHAT THEY HAD DONE?! I told them and then I ran in the bathroom and locked myself in a stall and cried. I'm tiered of being teased by my family and everyone else around me. Home is where you're supposed to feel safe and where you are accepted. Instead I just want to run away. It's not fair. I don't want to be a teenager. I want to go back to believing in everything. I want to go back to when I would be afraid that there was a monster under my bed and my parents would let me sleep in their bed and I would feel safe in their arms. I want to back when everything was alright. After that, we went back home and I posted on the internet and my mother yelled at me for not getting off when she told me to. I ran in my room and locked myself in there for about three hours. I wrote, I listened to Dir en Grey on my stereo instead of headphones as a sign of rebelion, I layed on my bed staring at the ceiling, I read a magazine, and I took pictures. I took pictures of all my asian trinkets, my plushies, my anime trading cards, my mangas, and myself looking miserable. I finally came out of my room to eat dinner and paint my fingernails black and take a shower. After that I went to bed. I'm still angry at my parents.

Today was a snow day so I suppose I'm feeling better. I got to sleep in until noon but my mother woke me up. I ate a grilled cheese sandwich, listened to Dir en Grey, watched my brother watch The Proud Family, and here I am on the computer. I'm listening to Evanescese to fit my angsty mood I'm currently harboring. Hopefully it will fade soon. The snow outside is already melting. What a pity, I'm always happy when the snow is in the grass. But now it's gone. I also feel like I'm getting sick, the third time this year. I think I'm gonna watch Saw and The Ring to cheer myself up. Maybe I'll watch some episodes of Invader Zim and The Nightmare Before Christmas as well. Maybe even Army of Darkness as well. I have way too much spare time. -_-; Here are pictures for you all to enjoy and a big "SCREW YOU!!! to my parents. Please enjoy.

Harleyquin Mana-san. :P


Aww... sleepy Mana. ^^


The entire group


So colorful.. X_X


MALICE MIZER PLUSHIES!!! How kawaii... ^^ *hugs*


The true colors of Malice Mizer.


Gackt was unwise to leave Malice Mizer, but you have to admit that he is doing well on his own... and is hot. ^o^

I think this post has been long enough. Sorry to ramble on. Sayonara.
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