Friday, February 8, 2008

   HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO
anyone out there?????
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Thursday, October 25, 2007

My story

I once heard a story
It was about a girl who believed that when you are 10 you are also 1,2,3,4,5....,9 also.

I don't know about you but I think when we are happy or sad you are everything jealous, spiteful, depressed, ecentric, and so on.

I believe everyone has more than one face, but I can't speak for everyone only myself.

I feel I passed though my 14 years as a wallpaper flower. Seen, but unnoticed at the same time.

At home at school. I see wrong I know right, but as a wallpaper flower you would lack the courage, spirit, and heart to correct it. After 14 years of oppression.

I can't look in the mirror
Because when I do I see an enclosed, spiteful, hateful, and envious girl.

Enclosed I hide the truth I bear the lies. You make me laugh you think you know me? Do you know I hate you? Do you know I fear you? Do you know that I would give up everything to be you and yet you whine on the most ridiculous things, you naive fool.

Spiteful spiting any love that comes my way. After 14 years everything looks fake
so don't give me your I love you's or you friendly hugs because it makes me tremble it makes me weep. I can no longer accept love. I fear love because I don't understand it, what is this four-letter word?

Hateful hating myself for the lack of courage to fight for what I want, what is right, and what is needed when it is right in front of my face. All the forced back words and swallowed tears I begin to hate it all.

Envious jealous of everyone who seems to have real happiness but like I would be able to recognize that.

When you see me you will know why I am the wallpaper flower. I am not Emo, gothic, or running around mourning for the world. I smile, I laugh, I play, I live. My perfect cover.

Fragile as glass.
All I have is hope and dreams
but I know it is only my refuge in the night in my slumber
I live the way I want to without you.


I fear of being alone and even though I hate you please don't leave me.
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Her sad song
Sitting in her room,
All day long.
She is sitting there singing,
Her own sad song.

A song about misery,
A song about hope.
A song about a problem,
and how to cope.

She wants someone to love her,
She wants someone to care.
But when she turns around,
Nobody is ever there.

She wants a family,
and some friends that she can call her own.
She wants all these things,
So she doesn't have to be alone.

She's hoping someone will love her,
She's hoping someone will care.
She hears something and turns around,
And notices that nobody's there.
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No wishes well
I want to run away
Inside my bright red scream
I want to break the doors
Holding back my dream

Living like this
Checking the skies for rain
A constant reminder
Of this burden and pain

I'm holding on to
A shooting star
Its points cutting my skin
This time it's gone too far

Nothing left to wish on
My bloody star fell
Left me drowning in hopes
Inside my wishing well

Not looking for a hero
To owe such a debt
I could not ask for saving
This loss is not a regret

I want to run away
But there's nothing out there
I want to shatter windows
That look out on nowhere

This is not life
If I'm already dead
My bleeding heart stopped beating
And tears I no longer shed
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My best friend
Our friendship is an ocean, stretching
Far and wide
Never ending-
Filled with memories-
That last a lifetime

You've always known
Just what to say

You were always there,
When I needed you the most

When I needed-
A shoulder to cry on
Yours was always waiting

When I needed-
Someone to talk to
You were there
Just listening

When I needed-
Someone to hug
Your arms were
Doors wide open to me

Our friendship's
Just like the
Stars-
Both go beyond
Man's reach

All of the giggles we shared

Let the salty taste of tears
Run down our cheeks

All the Laughs,
The smiles,
The hugs,
The inside jokes,
The hours online,
And
The eighty minute phone calls

Just because

You were the family that
God forgot to give me.
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forever till the end your my best friend
If we ever seperate,
It'll have to be certain fate.
No matter what,your my best friend,
As the chant goes'Forever to the end'.
You are my very best friend...
When we fight,
I fight tears.
Not to mention my fears of losing you,
We may grow apart,
And drift away,
But I will always remember you as my best friend forever.
Always,
Like the chant goes,
Forever 'till the end,
You'll always be my best friend

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