Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Temporary Freedom With Rants On The Side!
Yup, well, I have been out of school since last Friday. I didn't go to school last Thursday though because, thanks to the block schedule, I didn't have any exams to take that day. I had taken my first block exam a day early because it was a business course and I exempted my third block on perfect attendance. Can't wait to start my new classes though. So much fun! XD * Studio Art, Mythology, Psychology, and Human Anatomy *

Meh, any new updates in my life? Not really. I was sick from food poisoning on Monday because of something my mom put in the eggrolls and rice. You'd think she would have the heart not to kill me during the holidays >.>

Got bombarded with the dolts of society a few times, making me wonder why I even bother to get up in the morning. The usual things. Had run ins with the worst breed of humans as well. Posers, and wanna be EMOs.

O.o Who da hell wants to be an EMO!?

Jerko: Yeah, I'm a hardcore EMO!

......"hardcore" EMO?... THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A HARDCORE EMO!!! EMOs are softcore! They will shoot themselves in the head and not care!

If you wanna be or meet someone "hardcore", then be/meet a Vegetarian. Yes, we have hardcore veggie heads. They are dedicated to something by choice, not because others say it is "cool" or others think that it's the "thing" to be or do. (My Rants of the Day >.>;) I honestly can't stand someone who claims to be something they are not. I especially hate it when others follow the trends of others! >.<

Example: Entertainment.

You ever notice that when someone brings up a certain singer, band, or show, someone seems to ALWAYS come up and say. "Oh, man, they/that/he/she sucks!"

All right, I respect the fact that you don't enjoy a certain thing. That's no problem. However, what I hate is when others make a comment that is based just on the comments of others.

Meaning, they simply have the opinion that something sucks or kicks ass just because someone else said it, not because they actually gave it a chance to see for themselves. Social situations show that most people only listen and watch, or don't listen and watch certain things because their friends or the majority of the people around them do or don't.

I also find it fucking sad when someone tries to make me feel like an idiot and a freak of nature when I say that I actually enjoy some songs by Hilary Duff or someone else.

What? I'm supposed to be ashamed and embarrassed of the fact that I can actually think for myself without the influence of others, or the fact that I am actually capable of HAVING an opinion?

How about actually being true to yourself and allow yourself to speak up and enjoy life? Honestly, if they don't like it, then screw them! If you enjoy it, that's all that matters. If you don't, then that's fine too, just don't let your opinion about something be based on the opinion of someone else. The only opinion that really matters about your social life and who you are is your own opinion.

Hey, I don't like Harry Potter or Slip Knot or most other loud bands (Sorry, Logan, not a fan of Metallica either, but if you are then that's fine. It's just an opinion and taste. ^^). I don't really have a thing against Courtney Love, I don't know her well enough to do so and I honestly don't know why people make a big fucking deal about her name being on the cover of the Princess Ai manga. *rolls eyes* (Still has no idea who the hell D.J. Milky is... >.>;) I'm not religious either. I believe what I believ and am happy with it. When someone asks me about it, I share my opinion even if that person just so happens to be the youth minister at the church my parents attend. However, that is because I am not ashamed of what I believe. Why would I be? I couldn't care less what about what your own religion is or what gods or goddesses you worship. If you kickass, have a mind of your own, and I enjoy your company, then that's all that I really care about. I'll respect your beliefs and opinions, but only if you show the same respect for mine.

Yes, I like Pokemon and Yu Gi Oh as well. I honestly love the thought of something cute and fuzzy that could kill you. Plus, I think the concept of using an Egyptian theme is damn creative and original. I don't like FLCL... Sorry, Xero, I just couldn't get into it ^^; After the first three episodes, I gave up.

I enjoy the music by Trapt, Simple Plan, Five Iron Frenzy, Bowling for Soup, and some Manson. However, I also find some country music to be nice as well. Like 'One Voice' by Billy Gilman and 'In My Daughter's Eyes' by Martina McBride. I hate Rap though... Sorry, I just can't take it and I honestly hated the Phantom of the Opera moive. I enjoyed the book so much better.

Anyway, all in all, please don't become someone else's duplicate!!! We have enough of those as it is. T.T
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Monday, November 21, 2005

Much Fun! ^^
Hey, everyone! Yeah, I recently got back from my trip to Florida some time around last night. I actually had a rather good time and the convention was pretty cool, even though it was the convention’s very first year and all. I even got quite a few cool things for the most awesome prices I could ever find. I was even lucky enough to find a long haired, white wig and some gold contacts for my Youko Kurama costume. ^^

List of things I blew my cash on this weekend:

1. Crystal Beaded InuYasha Necklace
2. InuYasha Action Figure
3. Human InuYasha Action Figure
4. Sesshoumaru Action Figure
5. DDR Hoodie
6. InuYasha Black Bag
7. Kurama Wall Scroll
8. Chibi Kurama Pin
9. Chibi Hiei Pin
10. Kirara Pin
11. Chibi Hiei Key Chain
12. I Love Kurama Button ^.^
13. Long Haired White Wig
14. Gold Contacts
15. Yusuke Plushy
16. Yu Yu Hakusho Rare Trax CD
17. Yu Yu Hakusho Collective Tracks CD

LOL, yeah, I’m VERY happy right now! XD I already have my sexy Kurama wall scroll up on my bedroom wall. ^.^

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Friday, November 18, 2005

He's Loved By All! ^^
Well, I am now currently in the middle of my Interactive Multimedia Design class just waiting for the next few hours of the day to fly by. Why? Well, because today is the day that I finally head down to Florida for the weekend with Sayuri for Anime South. ^.^

Anyway, this morning was rather interesting for me. ^^; I ended up getting quite the surprise when I walked through the school doors. Turns out that Xero had come down to visit and he had a late B-day present for me as well. LOL, funny thing about it was that it was a Sesshoumaru plushy. ^^ However, by complete coincidence, I had just so happened to have brought MY Sesshoumaru plushy for the Pep Rally today. *nervous laugh* I had gotten that plush at AWA-Con so I can understand him not knowing that I had one. Plus, I don’t get to see him as often as I used to. However, the one he got me happened to have a little Sesshoumaru keychain attached to it! XD

Now, what made this even funnier was what I did next.

I decided to actually keep the gift Xero got me because of the sentimental value it had and decided to GIVE AWAY the one I got at AWA-Con!

As soon as I announced this, every last one of my friends went ballistic and started fighting each other to get the plushy as I threw it up into the air to see who would catch it first. XD They literally elbowed one another and screamed to get to it! It was the funniest thing I EVER saw! XD

My friend Green-day won, and he was clutching it while Jamie tickled him to death, trying to get him to drop it.

Next time, I think we’ll just draw names out of a hat. It will probably be a lot safer. ^^;
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Sunday, November 13, 2005

Another Year Older...
Apparently my memory is already starting to go on me. XD I actually forgot that today was my birthday twice today, kind of sad eh?

Well, anyway, I'm now seventeen. Yes, I'm getting old and I'll be a legal adult in exactly one year now! LOL, I can't wait either! XD

So far my birthday has gone well. I got lots of cash and a new clip for my digital camera. However, my greatest gift won't be here until this Friday. That's when I will be leaving for Anime South in Florida for the weekend! ^^ My brother has a three bedroom condo already rented out in the Hilton Beach Resort for me and my friend Sayuri. (Sayuri The Mouse)

We'll be staying in the resort the convention is being held in so i know I'll have an awesome time. XD I really hope to see some people from the Otaku there if they are able to go! ^^ If you are, look for someone dressed as Youko Kurama! I'll be walking around with a Hiei! XD
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Friday, November 11, 2005

Updates
Okay, lots of stuff went on recently. So far we've had two deaths at our school and this morning I just found out that one of my friend's mother just passed away this morning as well. She's holding out strong, but it's still a rather uncomfortable situation.

I don't mean to bumyou guys out or anything. I realize that most of the posts I have made recently aren't the most happy ones and I apologize. However, they are just things that I felt I needed to type down...
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Thursday, October 20, 2005

Feel Like I'm Being Smothered To Death...
I feel like my patience with Alabama has finally cracked. Back in the day, I was able to handle the stupidity of the people here and I was never really bothered with it much. However, now I'm damn sick of not only this state but most of the people living here! More than 90% of the population here is made up of Larry the Cable Guy wanna-be's, hicks, and uneducated dicks! I'm so SICK of hearing the same nasally, southern hick voices almost 24 hours a day! Oh and by 'uneducated,' I mean that whenever these people see something written in a different languages or see something they've just never seen before, they automatically start to make fun of it. As though that someone else's religion, language, and interests are just alien and NO ONE else has heard of it. They're all a bunch of hicks and I'm just damn tired of it!

It doesn't matter if you're Japanese, Korean, or Vietnamese here. You're automatically CHINESE! That's how stupid it is down here! No one here can get the poems of Emily Dickenson, the stories by Kate Chopin, Soujourner Truth, or ANYTHING! Nothing makes sense to them here! That's just how narrow their minds are and how incredibly ignorant they are. It's almost disgusting!

*sigh*

I honestly don't know when this all happened. I think my patience began cracking in the middle of September. I had the sudden urge to REALLY get away from the people here and the state itself. Luckily for me, I was going to AWA-CON with 4 of my girl friends the upcoming weekend.

That was the best weekend I have EVER had so far. Not just because I was going to an Anime convention, but because I was getting AWAY. I also met so many interesting people at AWA-CON. The reason why I liked them so much wasn't because they shared my same interests, but because they weren't afraid to show their passion for something, or actually HAVE and opinion of their OWN, unlike most of the people here in Alabama. They were real and not what others wanted them to be. Some were average and some were above or below on BOOK smarts, but when it came to real issues and understanding, it was overwhelming. I felt as though I was drowning in bliss.

However, when I'm here at home, I now feel as though I'm being driven into a corner.

Today, for example, when I finally got home and was out of the comfort of my friends (The only ones that can seem to keep me sane here) I was over come with the sudden feeling of stress and depression. I didn't want to hear the sound of another human voice being directed at me, and I sent hints to my parents that that was what I really wanted. However, because parents suck, they didn't follow the warning signs and started talking and pushing me to my limits. I was so pissed that I just had to get away again and went to the only safest haven here. My bedroom.

I felt so pressured that I just wanted to cry and I'm not sure why. I was close to tears twice before I finally did break down into tears the third time. The invisible pressure was suffocating me and I felt like I just couldn't breath anymore and I was choking. I just can't take it anymore and I can't stand it here! I've never wanted to get away from something more than I do now. That's why I'm praying for November to come soon. That's when I'll be going to Anime South on the 18th-20h in Florida. I NEED to get away and meet new people. I HAVE to get away again and find release from all the mental stress that these people are giving me.

However, when that weekend is over, I'll have to come back HERE and that's what I dread the most. I don't want that suffocating feeling again.
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Saturday, October 15, 2005

Just Being Stupid...And Tired...
Ok, I was basically off this entire week for Fall Break and I just got back from my friend Sayuri's house. I was spending the night there, along with my other friend Kathy. I also did one of the dumbest things you could possabily do at a sleep over.

Not sleep...At all........
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Monday, September 26, 2005

Back From Awa-Con!
WOOHOO!!! I just got back home after being in at Atlanta and attending the AWESOME Awa-Con, a HUGE anime convention that is held in a large mall and hotel. I wanna go back!!! I tell you that I have NEVER felt more at home than I did at Awa-Con. I got hugged by SO many random people that I almost felt like a whore! XD Seriously though, I had an incredable time there. ^^ I bought SO much freaking stuff there and I got hit on by a 28 year old guy because he didn't know I was 16, but I also got hit on by some guy who was cosplaying as Sesshoumaru. I even got to slap a black Miroku (in a playful of course) because he asked me for a picture after he glomped me from behind and kissed my cheek. I was cosplaying as Sango in her traveling outfit. XD



LOL, yeah, it was AWESOME! XD



The gal friends I went with also cosplayed. Summer was Fuu from Samurai Champloo, Rayanna was Jin from Samurai Champloo, Kara was Melfina from Outlaw Star, and Sasuke (Cristan) was Itachi from Naruto.

Everyone there was SO friendly that it was almost insane! I lost count at how many hugs I had recieved and pictures I had to pose for when people pulled me aside. XD I even made friends with the AWESOME chick who was cosplaying as Kakashi. Her outfit was AMAZING! O.O She had in the red contact lens with the dark swirls in it and everything!

I ended up spending all of my cash on stuff there, I'm not kidding you. ^^

1. Inuyasha Beaded Necklace

2. Black Fox Eared Hairband

3. Loveless Window Scroll

4. 3 Yu Yu Hakusho Doujinshi

(Twins)

(Seikimatsu no Heiki)

(T.V. Magical)

5. A Gundam Seed Doujinshi

(Cherry Blossoms)

6. White Sesshoumaru T-Shirt

7. 2 Hiei Plushies (One was for my friend Sayuri)

8. Sesshoumaru Plushie

9. Hands Off Volume 4

10. Angel Sanctuary Volume 9

11. Fruits Basket Volume 11 (All manga 20% off)

12. Anime Fan

There were two separate large areas that we mainly went to. The stands where starving artist's were selling their things, and the MAIN area where all the STUFF was being sold, like the merchandise I just listed. LOL it was awesome! We plan to go to the one in Madison this December. ^^
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Friday, September 23, 2005

Anime-Con!
Yeah, well as you could tell from my last post, I didn't have too much of a good week. However, everything is ALL better now. I talked to him and everything is straightened out and we are both still the best of friends. Thank goodness too! ^^

However, I do still need a weekend away from Alabama so me and a few other of my gal pals are gonna be heading up towards Atlanta, Georgia for the weekend. We're leaving today right after school.

I can't wait either! XD I'm currently in my Multimedia class right now. Only three more classes to go. ^^
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Monday, September 12, 2005

I Guess I Can Only Keep Dreaming...
I guess I was just too late. I was just too afraid to tell you how I truly felt, and now I won't have that chance for a while now. Maybe never again.

I never knew that this would hurt this much, or just how many tears I would cry because of it. You're with someone else that isn't me, and that's all my fault. I never told you how I felt so it's also my fault why I feel all this pain.

I think it hurts even more because you and I are so close, but you never told me that you were with HER.

I'm not jealous though. If you are happy, then I will try to be happy for you as well. I can't just push you away because things didn't go the way I had hoped they would. That would be more hurtful and selfish of me.

However, even though I can only watch you from a distance now. Even though I can only hold on to the few simple touches you give me.

I still, and always will, love you more than anything in this world. You're the reason my world is still able to go on, and I'll still stand by you no matter what.

Even though the only thing I can do now is dream, I love you...
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