Thursday, October 20, 2005

Feel Like I'm Being Smothered To Death...
I feel like my patience with Alabama has finally cracked. Back in the day, I was able to handle the stupidity of the people here and I was never really bothered with it much. However, now I'm damn sick of not only this state but most of the people living here! More than 90% of the population here is made up of Larry the Cable Guy wanna-be's, hicks, and uneducated dicks! I'm so SICK of hearing the same nasally, southern hick voices almost 24 hours a day! Oh and by 'uneducated,' I mean that whenever these people see something written in a different languages or see something they've just never seen before, they automatically start to make fun of it. As though that someone else's religion, language, and interests are just alien and NO ONE else has heard of it. They're all a bunch of hicks and I'm just damn tired of it!

It doesn't matter if you're Japanese, Korean, or Vietnamese here. You're automatically CHINESE! That's how stupid it is down here! No one here can get the poems of Emily Dickenson, the stories by Kate Chopin, Soujourner Truth, or ANYTHING! Nothing makes sense to them here! That's just how narrow their minds are and how incredibly ignorant they are. It's almost disgusting!

*sigh*

I honestly don't know when this all happened. I think my patience began cracking in the middle of September. I had the sudden urge to REALLY get away from the people here and the state itself. Luckily for me, I was going to AWA-CON with 4 of my girl friends the upcoming weekend.

That was the best weekend I have EVER had so far. Not just because I was going to an Anime convention, but because I was getting AWAY. I also met so many interesting people at AWA-CON. The reason why I liked them so much wasn't because they shared my same interests, but because they weren't afraid to show their passion for something, or actually HAVE and opinion of their OWN, unlike most of the people here in Alabama. They were real and not what others wanted them to be. Some were average and some were above or below on BOOK smarts, but when it came to real issues and understanding, it was overwhelming. I felt as though I was drowning in bliss.

However, when I'm here at home, I now feel as though I'm being driven into a corner.

Today, for example, when I finally got home and was out of the comfort of my friends (The only ones that can seem to keep me sane here) I was over come with the sudden feeling of stress and depression. I didn't want to hear the sound of another human voice being directed at me, and I sent hints to my parents that that was what I really wanted. However, because parents suck, they didn't follow the warning signs and started talking and pushing me to my limits. I was so pissed that I just had to get away again and went to the only safest haven here. My bedroom.

I felt so pressured that I just wanted to cry and I'm not sure why. I was close to tears twice before I finally did break down into tears the third time. The invisible pressure was suffocating me and I felt like I just couldn't breath anymore and I was choking. I just can't take it anymore and I can't stand it here! I've never wanted to get away from something more than I do now. That's why I'm praying for November to come soon. That's when I'll be going to Anime South on the 18th-20h in Florida. I NEED to get away and meet new people. I HAVE to get away again and find release from all the mental stress that these people are giving me.

However, when that weekend is over, I'll have to come back HERE and that's what I dread the most. I don't want that suffocating feeling again.
Comments (7)