Friday, July 20, 2007

this post isn't showing up for me again damnit
I slept for a long time last night, 11 hours, a new record even for me. So now i have to get started on my room after i eat. I want my mom to let me paint the walls white so that i can draw on them and then paint in the pictures to create a mural. She kinda already said i could. But and ways i wrote a poem yesterday and what not and i figured i would post it up since i dont have anything better to put.


I think of all those times I let you down,
I remember how I just sat back and watched you hit the ground.
And I think to myself where would you be,
If I had been able to make them see?

You always thought you were worthless,
And amazingly you might have deserved this!
My words always fell on deaf ears.
They had destroyed your spirit after all those years.

You swore you were fine,
But I know now that you had crossed the line.
You called one night crying and scared,
Releasing all the pain and hate they had layered.

They couldn’t come quick enough!
Suicide is one thing you can’t bluff.
I cried that day at your funeral as they lowered you down.
Your face looked so different, smiling. Where was your frown?

And I cry now as I think these things.
The tears, they run past my side swept bangs,
I don’t know how to tell you that I’ll be there soon
I don’t know if you rest in fire, or a field that is abloom.

But I will find you soon.



A/N, If it confuses you, it's about a girl who's boyfriend had abusive parents.
And one night he commited suicide right after he had called her and told her
goodbye. Sadly she was the one that called the police and tried to stop him, but
when she arrived at their favorite place, a abandoned rooftop, she wasn't quick
enough. She fell into depression and at the end of it all she commits suicide in
the same place where he did.
Comments (7) | Permalink

Thursday, July 19, 2007

   You're like a slug, everytime you touch something you ooze.
Welp i'm here at em's..... again......yes again..... I'm over here alot for some reason. I think she's trying a different method of stalking... yeah thats it. She keeps hitting me in the head with stuff, i'm losing braincells here so help. She just said i didn't have any brain cells to begin with, feh yes i did... one .... and his name was silver..... all i have left of him is a grave now..... thanks to em >.<



Well anyways, I haven't gotten to type anything since i've been over here. But let me tell ya someone on werewolf forum pissed me off by saying he wasn't gonna read it because it's too long. And it's only gonna get longer, so he's really being an ass. because i dont post 60 pages at once, it's not like you have to read it all at once either, but yeah i'm just touchy aboot that stuff for some reason.


Welp i gotta go now. Someone anyone pm me, the boredem is brutal when i'm at my house.
Comments (8) | Permalink

Monday, July 16, 2007

Music
Sick Puppies and Paramore are alternative rock bands. If you have ever heard the song it's all the same then you've heard sick puppies. Paramore sings misery business.

Guess what guys, em broke her finger in a four wheeler acciddent so go give her a hug at Kogasgirl4ever.

Secomdly iu have reached page 70 in my story and i think it's going to be longer then i expected but i have everything mapped out and ready to waeve into words so hopefully i'll be finishing it soon. I wanna finish it before school starts, then i wanna get it published WOOHOO! ^_^

So how have ya'll been?
Comments (10) | Permalink

Sunday, July 15, 2007

hey ya'll
I did my daddies old and moldy dishes and he bought ,me Sick puppies, their new cd called dressed up as life! ^_^ so that makes both Paramore and Sick puppies all in one week. I'm rewriting snow white for the FN callenge, woohoooo. Also i am going to set up a rough version of my advice site and it'll be called Advice on Otaku. So if you have any problems visit it. Alright i gotta go and type.
Comments (7) | Permalink

Friday, July 13, 2007

Sigh
A lot of em's guy friends are butts to me. And i dont know why, for instance i just got called a bum by a british guy who i had only just then met. What am i some kind of person who has the atitude of a bum? *sigh* em just said that i kinda do, just cause i sleep alot.
Comments (7) | Permalink

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

BWAHAHAHAHA
WOot friday the 13th is coming up soon, and we're all spending the night at em's. so woooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.......... i decided that i am going to open a myo advice site, so when i get that up i'll let ya'll know. Em says hi.
Comments (5) | Permalink

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Hey ya'll
I got only 3 hours of sleep last night but i can proudly say i now have 60 pages, 9 more then i did yesterday XD WOOT!!!! GO ME!!!!


You know i think i might open another site as a kind of advice giver, who people can come to with their problems and i'll give advice to the best of my knowledge. Which would me i would have 3 sites cause right now i have this one and Forgottensmile, my story site.

Welp anyways tell me if ya think that might be a good idea. I'm going over to Em's tonight so that'll be fun, i cant wait. And i'm seeing harry potter on thursday. And then i'm finally gonna get to work on my room, which again joy *sarcasm*

I finally got some new summer clothes after 2 years, so that has me exicted. I'm gonna try surfing whilst My family's on vacation in South Carolina, cuase where were staying with our RV is right on the beach. It rocks.

Welp anyways i gotta go.

oh and as a thanks for all the comment that ya'll have given my lazy ass i'm handing out free jumping hugs XD

*glomp*

bye ya'll.

Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, July 9, 2007

Hey ya'll
Welp I can never stay depressed long with ya'll cause there were atleast 5 people talking to me last night. I couldn't keep myself from luaghing even if i want to. Danke guys.

I am so happy today cause guess what, i have 51 pages now in Slowly Disappear, which means i typed 8 pages last night >_< and when i formatted it it was over 100 pages WOOOOTTTTTT Go me ^_^
Comments (8) | Permalink

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Eh
Welp so I'm gonna stop talking about my boring life. I've hit depression again and my emotions are haywire. For instance i am currently pissed beond belief for no reason at all. Secondly I might be deleting Akiko44 and ForgottenSmile from myo. I might.


But i probably wont, but either way i wont be posting anything meaningful for a while and i probably wont be too talkative in pm's so really honestly just forget about me for a few days, i need to find a way to be happy again, something i haven't been for a long time.



Welp bye ya'll have a good week.
Comments (6) | Permalink

Saturday, July 7, 2007

YAY!!!!
YAY I got two more books, so now i have to finish snow walker really quick which shouldnt be a problem cause i read nearly two hundred pages today while we were driving up to get our new RV, so about 3 hours. But the books i got are, Book one of the Codex Alera- titled Furies of Calderon it's about 500 pages so it should take me only a day or 2, and then i got Dragon Lance- The lost chronical volume one- Dragons of the Dwarven depths and that about 600 hundred pages so all in all i have 4 days reading material not including the hour or two to finish off the last 300 pages of snow walker. Woot! go me! So how have ya'll been?


Oki dok so i've had a few people ask me to show them my story so here are the first couple pf pages. It's gonna be kinda long and you dont have to read it if ya dont wanna-


Alone- prologue

Puffs of air ran past frozen lips and blue fingers grasped at the earth. The change had been instantaneous, occurring due to her complete loss of energy. She had been running so long, her haunches ached and she lost her way long ago.

She lay on the ground, bare skin covered by bits of leaves and grass blades but also marred by lengthy cuts and scratches. Her fingers flexed dragging lines through the earth as her razor sharp claws sank back into her skin. She moaned in pain as her teeth slowly shrank back to normal size and her vocal cords took on human shape.

As the change completed it’s regression she laid there on her side breathing hard trying desperately to keep in the tears that had threatened to fall for most of the night. But to no avail, she wrapped her arms around her legs and she pulled them to her chest as the tears fell; burning hot trails down her frozen face. Her breathes came faster and soft wails of emotional pain entered the quiet clearing resting in the middle of an expanse forest.

Thousands of animals stopped their midnight ministrations to listen to the soft cries and far off in the distance if you listened hard you could make out the howls of wolves; they were answering her trying in their own way to give her solace from her pain.

She could not stop her tears but her brethren’s cries gave her strength so she tried her hardest to in the least bit to stop her wails. She seceded.

With tears still making steady trails down her cheeks she bent out her arms from her legs and lifted herself into a sitting position. She brought her legs around to sit Indian style with her head down cast.

Her thick, rich, red hair fanned around her pale face and she whispered into the darkness.

“Disappear… how does a wolf disappear?” Her voice broke on the last word and her wails began again.

Using her last bit of energy she forced her teeth to elongate and she bit into her wrist to bloke out the mental pain she was experiencing. She fell to darkness.


Dead chapter one

“Now, now please wake up wolf ling. I can’t have you dieing on me now.”

Through her groggy dreams of blackness she could make out the cragginess of a male voice asking her to stay alive. Life what use does she have of it.

She was just about to let herself fall back into peaceful blackness when the delicious smell of meat entered her nostrils, the sweet, juicy, charred, tangy smell of steak. Her stomach rumbled loudly announcing her hunger.

“Well obviously this steak isn’t going to eat its self young lady, do you mind waking yourself we have much to talk about.” There was that voice again. It belonged to a plump middle-aged man, resembling a kind grandfather with an open face and a joyous smile. His balding head was rimmed in frail silver hairs but his beard was full and thick with light brown hair.

The pale girl finally cracked open her dry and swollen eyes to the onslaught of sunlight that she later pinpointed to originate from a small window right above the soft bed she also found herself to be resting upon.

Her red hair was tangled with various leaves and sticks and her whole body ached. She pushed back the titian colored blanket and reached for the plate of rare steaks that the kindly old man had set down on the bedside table.

Knowing they were for her, she ate with a vengeance.

The plump old man sat himself down in an old rocking chair adorning a corner of the small sunlight lit room. He folded his hands together and watched her with contentment, just slowly rocking back and forth.

The only sounds in the room were the creaking of the rocking chair and the scrap of the young girl’s knife as she tore vigorously through the pieces of meat. Soon she was finished eating and with a clink of her utensils the room fell silent. The creaking had stopped.

The old man was now looking at her with an unwavering stare.

“Imagine to my surprise when I walked out of my cottage this morning only to find a Girl scratched and marred lying in the grass.” There was no hostility in his voice nor was there anything that would hint questioning, his voice was strong but kind. When the girl made no move to retort he went on.

“I have room in my home for you, if you don’t want to go home. But you will also have to do some work for me. I trust you can control your wolf; otherwise I will have to hand you over to the local alpha for training. If you do not wish to stay here that is your choice, I know you have been through something and I will not push you to do something you don’t want to do.”

He ended on a light note after the girl started to shake her head in terror at the mention of another Alpha no doubt with his own pack.

She does not like her own kind, the old man realized.

“Well come on then time to get up, you slept well past noon. I need to go over your tasks that I will have you do for me. The shower is down the hall I have already set out a fresh pair of clothes and a towel. Seek me out when you’re done, I will be outside.”

He hoisted himself up out of the rocking chair with a creak of old bones and just when he was about to make it out the door way her voice stopped him.

“How did you know?” When he turned his head back around he found that her head was downcast and he could barely make out the tip of her nose through the curtain of deep red. He smiled a knowing smile.

“I know a Fea when I see one, being a Fea myself.” With that he was out the doorway and his footsteps faded moments later.

The girl just sat on the bed for several more minutes just breathing in the earthy smell of dwarf goblins completely losing her self in her memories of her abusive pack.

When she felt the suns rays on the back of her eyelids she willed herself to move. Her aching body protested when she pushed herself up even further and she rested on one arm; using the other to swipe the hair back behind her shoulders.

Though she was not concerned any longer with her appearance, an idea formed in her mind.

Finally she dragged herself out of the quaint bed and stood on the floor with firm feet and a rigid posture.

She was so sore; she had been running all night. Running away from her pain and sorrow, she truly was a coward just like they said.


A/N okay okay i know that the " 's and the 's are ,essed up cause i copied and pasted from word but just ignore it and if it gets hard to read let me know. Also if ya wanna read more i have 40 more pages if ya want. And once again my myo is messed up so i cant tell if this story shows up cause it just has the first part, so if it shows let me know please. Thanks

Comments (5) | Permalink