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Saturday, May 19, 2007
I just cant.
I dont understand life anymore, before i used to love it, laughing and emotions and what not. But now it's just a way to fill an empty void, as i grow farther away from the one's i love. How am i supposed to take part in something i dont understand. I just cant lately. It never changes, the same old stuff, i know what to expect everyday and i know how to react. It's like the notes of a song or a slow piano melody, no matter how much you try to change it, it always sounds good the first way but eventually it gets harder and harder not to wander in your mind, and just let it all play through without really putting forth any effort. Sure i love my friends to death, and i'm sure i would lock myself in my room and cry for hours on end if on end if any of them or one of my family members died. But i cant help but fade from who i used to be, i cant make myself act how i always did, even if it's just to make a friend or family member happy, it gets harder and harder to be me.
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