Wednesday, July 21, 2004

100th View Hatemail Ho-Down!
Hey there boys and girls. Today marks my 100th viewing. I would like to thank:
1. myself, for having the patience to do all this.
2. My buds Nathan and Heath, for moral support.
3. All my fans who come here and realize this is just some random shit that comes to my mind.
4. The hatemailing dolts who keep me interested.

Now then, let's begin the festivities. I decided to celebrate with the viewing and eventual destruction of another hatemailer. Note, I post these for the reasons that one, I feel they are more interesting than fanmail, two, I love reading a page or two long email, and stomping it's writer to the ground. Let's get started, with this from Luminae.

Is this not ironic, there I was just reading malkav's post, so, upon returning to the backroom page, I click random member, and lo and behold, your screen name comes up.

It would indeed seem that controversy is the only thing you are capable of stirring up, which is quite sad, seeing as how you appear to be itelligent enough to create an entire page of ego boost for yourself. Do you not have anything better to do with your time?

It is quite funny, that you only post hateful, senseless posts. I actually find that quite endearing seeing as how you remind me so very much of my father.

I also find it rather amusing that you feel that all other people's opinions are obsolete, and yours is the only way to go, ne? Well... Isn't that so nice of you to value us all so very fucking much.

My last comment would have been if you were a top or a bottom, and I would have gone so far to call you a numbfuck, but It seems highly impossible(at least from my quote unquote unimportant opinion) that you could get laid, as you find it only possible to be disagreeable.

So love, I must say, Its a rather nice thing you've done for yourself, building up this litte fortress of childhood fancies of being perfect. I must comend you, Your mind seems to be amazingly one track.

ja ne!
~luminae

Do stop by my site, I enjoy hateful little posts, I'd almsot say I get off on that sort of thing.

Now, as I like to do, I will go through this piece by piece and prove this girl a dumbass who is wasting my time. For starters, it is a coincidence, not irony. Irony would be getting linked here after reading a page from someone who hates me. What you got was an amazing coincidence. You then state that it is a shame that I can seem only to, come up with controversy, despite my being ITELLIGENT enough to create a site to boost my own ego. Why yes, that is one of this sites principal purposes. With each dumbass kid trying to sound intelligent that I slaughter using his own ideas and emails, my ego grows. All your little rants are fueling my fire. Now what I have often stated is this, this site is a waste of time for me. I am bored, so I decide to update this every night prior to going to bed. Wastes time, and that is it's intended purpose. Now you mentioned something about me reminding you as a father figure. Good. Go to your room and turn off the computer and your Blink 182 CDs. Your grounded. As you stated yourself that I seem to try and make other people's opinions seem obsolete. Although that isn't really hard to do, it is not my intended purpose. Rather, I try to show bullshit for what it is, and I try to entertain those people nice enough to check out my rants everyday. (Thanks guys, I do appreciate it.) Now tell me Luminae, did you actually fucking read any of my topics, or did you immediately infer the entire argument from the title? Seems to me that you did. I have rarely met someone who does that, and it usually suggests that they are, in fact, lazy incompetant dumbasses who can't understand the difference between an educated opinion or editorial, and a mindless hate rant. Next, you tried to figure out if I am a top or a bottom. Since that is really releavent to the argument you are trying to make, I'll answer it for you. I am a bottom. Choice, not necessity. Allows freedom of hands, so I can use them for her pleasure.In closing, I do have a suggestion for you. Realize that there are more people out there than just you, pull your head from between your legs, and get bent. You state that I have a one track mind? Explain that for me.
One Track Mind- Thinks solely of obtaining or accomplishing one thing. Does not put any relevance on anything else.
Definition. Rather, I am open minded about ideas, but closed minded to bullshit. Now go fuck yourself.
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Eat Shit. (New Hatemail)
I just got this.

Hey YOU! YEAH YOU! I saw you little comment you left in my friend's guestbook. If you dont like what he is doing, then just stay the fuck away from his site. I hope he gets the fuck at you for talking about him. I am just reinforcing what he says. You are telling him to grow up, but you dont know him for real. I bet he has you something that you wish you had. A hot ass girlfriend. Even if you do have one (an internet relationship) i bet her ugly ass is a thousand miles away, and if not i bet her ass is so ugly that she isnt even considered a fucking girl. enough about your girlfriend (boyfriend). you have just showed how much of a better person that malkav is than you. you might have stated your opinion, but you spoke before you thought. if he wants to be insane, then let him. He doesnt need you talking shit to him, he has bigger problems, and better things to deal with. I am going to laugh my ass off at what he says to you, you ass master, who likes to bother ppl, because they have an advanced imagination, unlike yours that thinks spiderman was the worst movie of the year, fuck you! that movie was the shit, dont you know good ass entertainment when you see it? Its fuckers like you, that make otaku suck ass. You and anime_dude need to hook up, and have a nice buttfucking adventure. Because you both have alot in common. You are the one that needs to grow up, all Malkav is doing is just being himself, and if you cant except that, then fuck the fucking fuck off!!!!!! you have truly pissed me off. Dont be fucking with my friend's creativity, he is a fucking genious, and you are just a professional asshole, just like you said, JOHN! Damn you really are a boring asshole, how many ppl actually put their real name. I might expect that from a girl, but not from a dude named Alaswhore. I am running out of things to say, so shit, have a blessed day, and go fuck yourself, dont come to my pimped out site saying shit, because if it is weak, i might not even come back and bless you with a comeback comment. so, just stay away with your dull as site, that looks like straight up grey and white shit! later, john

Signed in my guestbook. Well, can't say that was an enlightening read. For starters, want to trade insults and theories? Fine. But do so in a reasonable manner. Don't waste half an hour writing a response as big as that. Now let's get started. At the beginning of your post, you went YEAH YOU! Well who else would be reading? Santa Clause? Quit the wannabee tough guy act asshole, it doesn't work. Now while you were jerking off in the satisfaction of writing that monolithe of a guestbook entry, did you consider that maybe, just maybe, I did read anything besides Malkav's intro? I read the whole first page, decided it was bullshit, and then IM'd him with the whole intention of first, showing him that I saw through the bullshit, and then trying to make a new friend. I think I suceeded, for I found that myself and Malkav havea few shared interests. I can't believe the double standard you dumbasses are pulling. You claim that I need to shut up for attacking Malkav's creativity, then you come here and attack mine? Get bent. Also, next time you little dipshit, try and sound intelligible when attacking someone. I found so many errors in your post that it was actually hard to read. Example? Accept, not except. Dumbass. Since you were so deadset on defending your friend (commendable and honorable) I have decided to stop this verbal ass kicking you have brought upon yourself after one more comment. My site is black and white, and I present my real name, for one reason. I am not into aesthetics at all. With me, what you see is what you get. Don't like it? Go to hell. Since this has already taken up too much time I could spend doing more meaningful things, I bid you adieu. Now fuck off.

P.S. To you people thinking that your hatemail will make me see the light and stop being a jerk, quit trying. If I were a shallow wannabee maybe that would work, but as is, never gonna happen. All these little hatemails are just feeding the fire. Keep them coming. The more you hate, the more I update. Don't like it, don't come here.
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Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Nostradamus was a fruitcake.
There was a french poet named Nostradamus.
Who bitched alot that doom was upon us.
He was full of shit
I know i can prove it.
And I know that I hate all the walrus.

That is a true poem. fuck the walrus. On a more prevalent note, I hate all those doom dumbasses. OMG the wurld gonna die out soon! Fuck you. Die. Die. Leave me alone. I hate you. Damn liars. My main beef with these dumbasses is the fact that, according to all of those books and speakers and jackasses, that 90% of the planet's population is dead. Ok, I have always played the better odds, so I am guessing that I will be dead. What good will knowing about all this in advance do? If I am gonna die, I sure as hell don't want to know about it in advance. I love surprises. On another note, why do they have schools for this? They have little schools in the woods for how your gonna survive when the planet is on fire with radiation. These places always teach how to kill with sticks, and how to make fire without matches. What disaster is so bad that it gets rid of matches and guns? Hell, I'll bet the post apocalypse world is gonna have hundreds of guns just lying around. Take a few. If I live, damn straight I'll have a few. Alot of them rigged onto my car. Oh man, cars with guns rule. Almost as much as I do. Anyways, as I was saying, the end of the world ain't gonna happen anytime soon. The only reason people keep forecasting it is because it's good for the selling of books. Why, just look at the Left Behind series. That reminds me, if the Apocalypse is in the bible, doesn't surviving veto the word of god? Huh, I think I'll take a quick death in a nuclear inferno thank you.
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Monday, July 19, 2004

Spider Man 2, the shittiest movie this year!
Well, normally I would never believe a review, but after seeing nothing but good things for Spider Man 2. Let me just say this. Doc Ock is easily one of the coolest villians ever. But, him in his badass mode was onscreen for all of about twenty minutes. And this movie is ten hours long. Seriously. This is nothing but sentimental bullshit. First off, Toby Maguire is a shitty superhero. He is tiny, meek, and a crybaby. "Ohhh, I don't want to be a superhero because it means I can't see Kirsten Dunce the whore." Quiet pansy! Oh no, poor baby don't wanna be a superhero? Does baby want his bottle? Grow up you little shit. you can't try the superhero thing out and then go back to normal when it gets tough. Little shit. I remember when movies had tough heroes. Rambo, Ash, that guy from True Lives, Bruce Willis. Real heroes who could kill you with a finger if they wanted. Remember when Rambo jumped off the cliff and elbow dropped that kid? Or when Ash said "Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun," after he had shot his evil twin in the face with a shotgun. Not some nancy boy who cares about feelings. Real men! One last thing about Spider man. Do Ock made a small sun in his house. Aren't suns typically millions of degrees fahrenheit hot? Like when he put the sun in the water, shouldn't it have boiled the entire damn ocean? Greatest movie of the year my ass. It should have been Doc Ock running around throwing cars, snapping off peoples heads, and kicking midgets. Oh man.
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Sunday, July 18, 2004

I had to kill several hundred hippies today.
Hippies attacked me today. I was seeing a movie, and when I came out, hippies everywhere. I had to pull out my machine gun and waste as many of them as I could. I was shooting and shooting, and heads were flying off and bodies exploding into blood and entrails, but there was so many. So I screamed at the top of my lungs "KUNG FU ROBOT PIRATE NINJAS OF DEATH! ATTACK!" And with a mighty Yo-Ho, fifty robots jumped out of the ceiling going "ARRRRR" We attacked the hippies. My crew of fifty robots versus a thousand hippies. They were shooting stupid rays out of their peace sign fingers and hurling those little buttons at us, but we fought on. I grabbed a spare sword off of one of my robots, and we went to town. We hacked off arms, decapitated them, and disembowled them, but more kept coming. We were being overwhelmed. Suddenly, a brilliant light blew up behind me, and Jesus, dressed as a ninja pirate, walked out of it. He pulled out a big ray gun, and vaporized most of the hippies in one big blast. Me and the robots killed the remaining hippies.
"Thanks Jesus." I said as he walked into the light he came from.
"Just doing my part to get rid of hippies John." He said as he vanished. True story.
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Saturday, July 17, 2004

Remember TRON? A list of great movies.
So few kids these days remember truly awesome movies. Movies that literally changed the way we watch movies. So as a favor to the small public that reads this stupid shit everyday, I compiled a list of movies that kick ass and the reasons they do.

1. Pulp Fiction- Quentin Tarantino's best. Loads of guns, drugs, sexy women, and blood. Awesome movie.
2. Evil Dead Series- Pound for pound the best overall action movies ever made. The first is damn scary, the second has many scary parts as well as great twisted humor, and Army of Darkness has so much ass kicking in it that it is unbelivable.
3. Pi- About a math whiz who finds a pattern in the stock market that relates to ancient Jewish writings and then gets chased by two hardcore groups wanting his discovery. Awesome movie, good luck finding it.
4. TRON- Revolutionized animation with it's awesomely detailed enviroments and original plot. Prepare to be bored to tears though.
5. Dracula: Dead and Loving It!- hialrious if somewhat corny. A great rental if you can find it.
6. The Thing- Not very original but hella cool special effects and a deep plot for it's overly exhausted genre.
7. From Dusk Til Dawn- Strippers, guns, bikers. Need I say more? Oh yeah, some of those suck ass vampire bitches are in there. Damn stupid vampires.
8. House of 1000 Corpses- HA! Gotcha! This belongs on the "What the hell is going on and what the hell were they thinking?" category. This was so unbelivably shitty. The plot made no sense, the characters were weak and unmotivated, and the ending was... seemed to be made from two rabid, PCP addicted pedophiles. I hate this movie more than I hate hippies. The rest are all superb.
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Friday, July 16, 2004

More hatemail, and a clarification.
I got a new hatemail today. This one was about how much I despise creationism.

Yeah you atheist heathen shit, i hope you burn in hell for your ways. the Lord created all you see and feel, and the internet so foolish kids like you can spread your blasphemous ways. He will find you.

I am terrified. Really I am. For starters dumbass, I am a devout Roman catholic. Being a fundamentalist protestant fuck does not give you the right to be a dumbass. Second, give me proof of the creationist theory being true and I will gladly change my opinion. Until then, blow me. Lastly, go to hell. Look, I did not say I hate the people who believe that bullshit, I just hate the complaint that it needs to be in schools. And finally, when I said family problems, I meant that several family members were staying at my house and I had no free time to update this. My family life is great. The reason I am such a jerk is the fact that I feel like it. If I was poor, I would be mean. Money didn't change anything about me. So fuck off. I am mean for the hell of it. Just like this site. I am doing this for shits and giggles. I don't give a shit about whether anyone reads this, it is just me fooling around and saying what is on my mind. That is all. So fuck you.
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Thursday, July 15, 2004

When did GTA become the standard for all free roaming games?
I rented Spider Man 2 today. After playing it for a little while, getting bored with it, and realizing that I wasted a rental, I decided to actually read the reviews. Almost everyone of the reviews I read said that this game tried to be like a GTA where you could go to the tops of buildings. Since when do all free roaming games have to related to the dogshit GTA series. Roadkill, Spider Man, hell, even Fable are all being compared to GTA. I hate that damn game. Jesus christ it is so damn stupid. "Look at me driving around! Now I will go ona killing rampage!". There are better games for both. Like to drive? Try Gran Turismo. Like murder sprees? There is a game superior in every single way. It is called Postal 2. Easily the best game ever. Especially if you like shooting things. I sure do. It got compared to GTA. what is so great about GTA? Is it the bugginess of it? The shitty graphics? The "amazing" amount of pedestrians and their awesome A I? The cars that all just about handle the same? What is it? Someone tell me how the hell this pile of shit beat so many superior games! tell me!!!!
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Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Creationists can kiss my ass.
There was just a guy on CNN that REALLY pisses me off. I forget his name, but he pisses me off. He is saying that creationism (the belief that all was created by a single all powerful god) should be taught in all public schools along with evolution. That argument REALLY pisses me off. I hate that arguement. Creationism shouldn't be taught in public schools because, get this, IT ISN't SCIENCE!!!!!!! A scientific argument goes in the following order. Observation, hypothesis, experiment and study, sharing results. What creationism goes by. Spooky laungauge, fear, oppression, torture, and heresay. Huh, how bout that? No science at all. Want to hear a trip? The only evidence that creationists can think of is, get this, the Grand Canyon. They say it was formed when alot of water was released over a very fast period, aka a massive flood. Right. That's it. It wasn't made over millions of years like every other canyon, it was made over the course of five to six weeks. I hate the whole Noah's ark story anyway. It is damn impossible for all billion species to get put on a boat. It is even more impossible for him to put all these animals back o0n their respective continents, especially if he didn't know they existed yet. Oh man, I rule.
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Tuesday, July 13, 2004

This is a crock of shit.
I got some spam today that intrigued me. First, the link at the top
http://www.4-men.org/penisenlargementexercises.html
Third paragraph. Read the part where it says to "slowly milk your penis" I've got a feeling that that is a load of grade A, premium cut, bullshit. Why? If moving your hand up and down your dick made a man's penis bigger, all boys over the age of thirteen could raise a flag on theirs. Why are there so few guys who are ok with dick size? I am fine with my dick's size. It is sort of like saying that you hate the way your face looks. You have what you were born with. It is stupid to change that. Quit being a shallow little bitch, and be yourself. Assholes.
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