Saturday, July 3, 2004

I hate Mickey Mouse
Mickey Mouse is a stupid ass cartoon. Damn high voiced prick. Always lording it over me with his network and national iconship. Asshole. Why the fuck do people actually watch that dumbass mouse? Disneyland blows ass almost as much as Universal Studios. Disney is not family entertainment! Look at some of the shit those assholes have done.
1. Had nice Snow White cackled at by a witch as she went into a coma
2. Killed Bambi's parents right in front of him.
3. Had the Little Mermaid almost turned into one of those weird little mud monster fuckheads.
4. Endorsed witchcraft with Cinderella.
So that is family entertainment! Fuck Mickey Mouse, fuck Walt Disney, and especially fuck those dumb ass soccer moms who bitch about what their kids see on TV or the Internet while they weren't watching because they were to busy getting their hair styled. Bitches. I hope all of you choke to death on your own pretentious ways.
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Friday, July 2, 2004

   Fuck Star Trek
I just watched Futurama. It was about Star Trek. I goddamn fucking hate that show. I hate everything about it. I hate the original, I hate the Next Generation, I hate Voyager, I hate its stupid fans. Star Trek fans are the only people worse than anime freaks. These are people who train for years, for fucking years, in an effort to become the greatest fan of all. To do that, they must know technical aspects, of a fucking TV show. The Enterprise does not exist. Phasers are a scientific impossibility. Aliens are not going to look like humans with fucked up teeth and foreheads. I picture hem as rocks, or bugs, or even those weird ass grey things dumbass rednecks keep seeing, is more likely than those Star Trek weirdos. The cast is way to nice to these people. If ever, anyone walked up to me and said "Live long and prosper," I would immediately kick their ass. Jesus, it is a goddamned shitty sixties show. How the hell can people think that shit is good. Christ, Star Wars gets worse and worse wtih each shitty telling of it's story, and Star Trek, the most repetitive garbage in the universe, is considered holy by nerds. Same fucking show over and over. Generic crew member gets killed by horrible monster, the Captain and some crew go down to planet and see horrible monster thing that is basically a plant or a guy in a suit. Crew escapes, think of way to kill monster, go back and kill it. Captain bangs Queen, Princess, or Slavegirl. BORING! Fuck Star Trek, and all people who love that show. Go die in a horrible way.
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Thursday, July 1, 2004

I God Damn Hate Florida
The only palce worse than this shithole is Utah, and even then, not by much. Everything down here is in the nineties. The amount of the day spent with rain, the temperature, the ages, the IQs of the teenagers out here. God this place sucks. People are all like, "Go to Orlando!" Orlando sucks. Whats there? OH GOD! A ROLLER COASTER! Big fucking deal. Wait in line for two hours, ride for thirty seconds of sub par fun. Big deal. All the while I am there, I have to listen to some dumbass kids. "I am hungry! I can't walk anymore! I'm tired! That man stole my candy and popped my balloon!" Serves them right. I can pop all the balloons. Fuck Orlando. Fuck Miami, as no one should speak Spanish. Fuck Busch Gardens, it should be bulldozed. I HATE FLORIDA.
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Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Damn I hate Monster.
I just saw a movie that REALLY sucked. It was called Monster. In general, it was about this ugly bitch hooker who meets that chick who was Wednesday on the Addams family Movie, and they become lesbians. For some reason, the hooker feels the need to make her bitch ass lesbian friend happy and buy her stuff. Being an ugly and cheap hooker (seriously, ass is like 200 dollars these days, she was willing for fifty.) she starts shooting people who pick her up for cash. Over the course of this shit movie, during the few times I was awake, we find that the hooker was abused and raped alot as a child, inspiring her to become a person who gets raped for money. Damn that sucked. The plot was poor, the violence was on par with Barney the Dinosaur on a smoke break, and the one lesbian sex scene shows NOTHING! Do not see this movie. You will thank me later. Now fuck off.
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Thursday, June 17, 2004

   Ask an ass.
As a rather mean person, I feel the need to pass on my great wisdom to those unfortunate enough to have that troublesome thing called a "consicience". Blithering simps if you ask me. Ok, I shall make this nice and simple for you slower people. Send me a question, by comment, email, or AIM me when I am available. I will answer it, give you advice about it, and try to be helpful as only someone like me can be. Seriously. I can really help in bad situations, by being direct and honest. I shall never lie. Get sending you miserable apes. I need some goddamned entertainment.
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