Thursday, October 7, 2004

Biting political commentary and the truth from a network of douches.
Anyone other than me forget to watch the presidential debates? Politcs are bullshit (more on that later) The other night, Bush opened himself up for mocking after Kerry gave a long winded half asses speech about how we are not a coalition in Iraq. too fucking bad. well, Kerry listed off the members of the coalition, and when he was done, Bush replied
"You forgot Poland""
Now, he is getting made fun of. What for? Knowing more about something he was involved in than a two faced horses face/ass? Since when did we become a society that pokes fun at someone for mentioning that someone ELSE forgot something? yeah, this is a short post, but I've got shit to do so bite me. And I do not want to hear the whole "Polish soldiers were the smallest groupd and they were late roflmaololol!!!!1"
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Monday, October 4, 2004

I got your battle sim right here.
Seems I have a new flaming fool after me. Kitsune Kage, in honor of you, and simply out of spite, here is Alasathor vs. Kitsune Kage.

Kage sits on the beach, talking to his ugly girlfriend. Alasathor, being the kickass Mongolian superhero that he is, passes by and Kage's girl immediately falls head over heels in love with him. walking off with his hand wrapped around that gross, moist thing she calls a hand, Kage is furious. Knowing that one on one, he is no match for our hero. Kage runs off to a gym to bulk up. Eight months later, Kage returns to find Alasathor locking lips with a supermodel. He flexes his new muscles, and Alasathor whips out a gun and blows him away. The End.

Since you obviously are a shallow and conceited person (and coming from a guy who calls himself the greatest thing in the universe, that is saying alot.) I have to ask. How do you plan on ending each of your fights? With you winning? Boring! I can see the future too you know, only I don't need any psycic power to do so. Each of your stories is going to consist mainly of you countering attacks and then figuring a way to kill off whomever you are put up against. Drop the tough guy act asshole. Since you know so much about japanese cartoons (I refuse to say it), I have to ask. How do you know martial arts, and how are you strong in any way if all you do is watch TV? And before I go, well, I have one last thing to say. Those pictures are obviously stolen as they hold no real connection. They are of different things, of different styles, and just no real connections between them. And before I forget, if you are just 17, how do you teach an art class at a university? You have had to graduate first to do that. Checkmate.
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Saturday, October 2, 2004

Oh boy! Now we can drive and shoot two guns at once!
Since it has been awhile since I have complained about games, I decided to preview one that I am not looking forward to, Halo 2. halo one, for those of you privelaged enough to not know about it, was a mediocre shooter that was released for the XBox when it first came out. It got rave reviews and a huge following of fans because they could not see through the facade of graphics and see a fundamentally flawed shooter. Now it's sequel is coming out, much to my dismay. No matter what video game site I go to now, everyone is screaming about how sweet this game is going to be. After all, no other game lets you wield two guns at once. And surely no other game let's you use a sword! So much hype for such a shitty game. Halo fans are among the msot rabid of the fanboys too. A Final Fantasy fanboy will fight to the death over someone hating his game. A halo fanboy will quit speaking to you forever and silently kill you in the night over it. While I am on topic I feel it is necessary to add that I know the worst halo asshole in America. He is constantly talking about how great he is at it, and how everyone should play the game so they know what real warfare is. Yes, since in real warfare we all get shields and laser guns and can drive a highly advanced alien fighter without any prior knowledge or training.. Checkmate mother fucker.
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Friday, October 1, 2004

I have an idea! Quit stealing all your thoughts from comedians!
Anyone ever see that George Carlin routine where he tries to prove religion is stupid by some pointless banter? I have heard it twice, once from him, by him I mean that jackass Carlin who thinks his shit doesn't stink just because he hates most things, and someone else, a friend of mine. This friend was bitching about how I can't do something sunday thanks to my going to church, and he used that argument. I countered with a big slap of "well, at least everything I say isn't stolen from comedians." This launches him into a fury of how he thought of it first and how he is right anyways. See, I love it when people mimic people on TV. Makes them sound stupid. Proves that they are too damn dumb to make up their own opinions about anything. Assholes.
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Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Truth Commercials..
First, let me ask. Ever hear of a little thing called panic mongering? It is where people say things that are scary to try and get viewers, readers, or supporters. This process usually doesn't give information so much as spooky launguage. People flock to these things, as most people don't give a shit as long as they can feel important about something. These assholes are called sheep. A group of sheep I have recently met are the Truth sheep. Their truth? Smoking. For starters, I am a proud smoker. Tell me I can't, and I will put it out in your eye out of spite. See, these jackoffs need people to tell them about what is right and good, so they can demonize what they say is bad. sadly, that means me. See, truth commercials use plain, regular english to creatively hide lies and holes in their speeches. My fave commercial is:
"When my mom was 14 she saw a movie that made smoking look cool. She died six months ago." Way to make a connection you dumb cunt. Another is:
"I would like to thank all those big time tobacco corporations for trying so so hard to kill my parents. Thanks guys!" Once again, a great connection! That girl was way too upbeat for her parents to be dead. Who the hell is that happy when their parents die? see? all lies. Look, someone dying of lung cancer is indeed a tragic event, and anyone whose parents die do have my sympathy, but that is no reason to fuck around and try and get all taxes raised because you are pissed off. Now I am so pissed off, I think I will go drop a crate on a toddler.
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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Can you spell hypocritical enviro loon, bitch?
Had an entertaining argument this morning. Girl was coming up with anagrams for enviromental problems, so I told her to shut the fuck up. See, enviro assholes are hypocrites. The main weapons of the enviromentalist movement are:
1. Cell phones,
2. Gas powered cars,
3. Public protests with alot of signs.
4. Plain old single minded, political agenda pushing bullshit.
Most of these enviro assholes could care less about the enviroment, but hate corporations. I don't really know why, as those same corporations let them use cell phones and shop at places like Old Navy. No enviromentalist I have ever met has been able to explain the greenhouse effect, or how a logging company cutting down ten trees and planting ten more being false, or any argument they make with any clarity. Instead, they resort to the old Animal Farm chanting of "All green good, all money bad". Few fun facts that most enviro jackasses either don't know or ignore.
1. If global warming does happen, it will be an increase of maybe a single degree fahrenheit.
2. It is international law that every logging company that cuts down a tree, they MUST replant it.
3. Thanks to new engine technology, most cars produce less pollution than ever.
4. They aren't really anti- enviroment, but they sure as hell are for their politcal candidate.
I would have no problem with these people if they realised that no one cares and shut up. But, until that day, I do the same thing to enviromentalists that I do to hippies. Hit them in the chest with a cannon shell. This has made me so mad I am going to go beat up an old man.
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Saturday, September 25, 2004

Can't take a joke?
How did everyone like my attept at being a whin angsty bitch rocker kid? A few people actually emailed me about that. All of them claiming thaat I had been hacked, and one wondering if I had been held at gunpoint and been forced to write that. It was a joke you dumbasses. And, I am back bitches. See, I realized something after I got those emails thinking that I had been hacked. You are all idiots. (For sake of the dumbasses who posted, I deleted your comments. Don't bitch about them you dolts, you were better off without them). If it wasn't obvious about that being a joke with all the complaining and angst, the use of one simple word should have given it away. LOL. See, I was thinking about quitting this stupid web blog thing and getting something better to do, but now, I am staying. And to celebrate, I am going to review something I freaking hate. Pseudo Intellectuals, this is for you. Enjoy.

Ever been sitting in class, probably thinking of me, or things like me, when some little dipshit's conversation sparks your interest? Usually, it is something so blantantly stupid, you want to crack them in the face for thinking it? I sit next to one of these geniuses. They are so hell bent on sounding smart, that when you back them into a corner on top of that massive bullshit pile they have climbed on, they resort to the old "Well, that is just your opinion" comeback that is a white flag without the hassle of surrendering so they don't lose face to a lesser being, such as yourself. These motherfuckers need constant reassurance that they are indeed enlightened or they will start rambling on and on about shit they would never do. See, you are going to run into a plethora of these dumbasses no matter where you go, so I came up with a plan to keep them quiet. It is a simple three step plan to get any psuedo intellectualist to shut up. Ready? Here we go:
1: Say "Shut the hell up you jackass" in a loud and threatening voice. This usually pulls in the timeless classic retort "well, you are just mad for I am right"
2: Look them right in the face and say "No, this is just a pointless waste of breath I could better use fueling my lungs and body into kicking you in the nuts" They rarely have anything to say to that, but if they do, sigh and pull your foot back.
3: Walk away. They will start blubbering about how they woere going to prove you wrong anyways, it was better you left. This is the old intellectualist standby for reassuring they are indeed enlightened, when in fact, you have shown them that you are onto their shit. I would have no problem with thse people if they weren't so god damn stupid. No matter the issue, these dipshits will fight against overwhelming odds and against scientific fact to prove you wrong. Most of them are leftist, middle class, trouser stains that need a good ass kicking to see what life really is about. Do them and yourself a favor, beat an intellectual today.
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Friday, September 24, 2004

   No one understands me.
i am so depressed now, no one can understand me. my parents just grounded me, but i hate them so it doesnt matter. no one can understand me like raven can. she understnds me! she always has. we were meant to be, i can sense it. our great love is a triumphant beacon of our rebelliousness against our oppressive parents. i remember the pact me and raven made. me and her in the afterlife. tomorrow we do it, we cut each others wrists. then we will be in the afterlife and we can listen to slipknot and good charlotte all the time, and not worry about our parents interrupting, lol. o raven, we shall be 1 perfect unity of true love and happiness, at our tender age of 15. i remember how we met at skool, in the library. i hate school so much. those teachers dont understand anything, they are all wrong. we should kill them, and proclaim a new world punk order, because we are the hardcore gothic rockers of the world! i see it, the future. millions of people listening to blink 182 with us, waving and dancing and moshing as we are hardcore like that! it will be so beautiful. and raven will be there, making it more and more beautiful! i cant wait for our revolution against rich people. our band is right, and have been ever since their last album sold 5 million copies. the album with benji, on the cover with that pepsi shirt on and those hipand cool hot topic pants. i cant wait for our future.
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Thursday, September 23, 2004

Inspiration needed.
Simply put, I am low on shit to write about lately. Call it a creative block. Point is, I am really freaking low on shit to complain about lately. So, I am going on a short journey of discovery. A few things that pissed me off before will now be examined closer. Examples? Gothics, vegetarians, Good Charlotte fans, Final Fantasy, skaters, sluts and players, stupid names and things, video games, shitty cars with shitty accesories, rednecks, old people, preppy types, and, my favorite, fat chicks in short shorts. Now fuck off.
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Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Too damn bad/ Good TV
Seems my abscence has wooried a few people. I got a fanmail yesterday that filled my ballsac with a happy feeling. Simply put, my fan thinks "u are a funny bastard and should writte more". Alright. Fair enough.

Today's vitriol and hate soaked rant is in the form of something I do all day. Watch TV. Who the fuck decided to take off all the really good shows and replace them with shit? Three comedic gems are gone. Simply, gone. Freakazoid, The Tick, and The Critic, all gone. Replaced with shows like Inuyasha, the Powerpuff Girls, and SpongeBob SquarePants. Ren and Stimpy is no more, transformed into Courage the Wowardly Dog. Why is it, everytime I like a show, it gets taken off the air faster than a Jackson flashing, but shitty shows like Friends last for what feeels like ten years? When are network execs quit bowing to the wishes of their advertising masters and put things on that are rude, crude, funny, and controversial? Answer? Never! Those execs shit a brick whenever something controversial becomes popular. They can't wait to think of an excuse to cancel it then. I am so mad right now, I am going to go and kick my neighbor's children around.
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