Monday, September 20, 2004

Fuck welfare get a job.
I have done it again. I have seen something that pissed me off so bad, I wanted to punt a kitten out the window. I was over by a pretty good friend of mine's house, enjoying a soda and staring at his retarded little sister, when his mother walked in. This is the first time I am meeting this woman, and I am wondering how one of my friends could have come from someone this white trashy. See, she is a whale of a woman whou has trouble reaching the car door handle around her bulbous tits and enormous jelly hanging off her arms. She has a total of eight teeth, and is just generally disgusting. What is worst about her is her personality. See, what she loves to do is to put out her disgusting DNA out in enormous quantities by having a shitload of children and not taking care of them so she gets a big fat welfare check. These assholes need to be killed. All they are doing is dragging the human race and the economy down. See, what these pricks ensure is that their ugly ass kids have no cash, and thus start doing the sleazy shit their parents did, further ruining the econmy as more and more white trash are born. See, what we need is another huge war. Alot of these assholes are super patriotic, and want to kill everything that isn't American if they get the chance, so if there was another war, all of them would sign up with gusto. What we don't tell them is actually, there is no war, we just needed an excuse to put them all in a really big boat, which we torpedo the fuck out of when it gets far enough away. Oh man, that would rule.
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Saturday, September 18, 2004

Whatever happened to...
Ever notice that alot of times someone will make a really shitty movie, and be popular for awhile, then vanish? Like that bitch from Home Alone one and two. What happened to that kid? I'll tell you what happened to that kid. He is washing cars in Hollywood because he sucks ass as an actor and needs to fucking die. Didn't see that coming did you Caulken you little shit? Don't want pizza? Hate the attic? Too fucking bad you wimp. I love poetic justice. Every time some popular twit ends up in a shit job, I have to smile. It doesn't even have to be a sports hero or a movie star, just anyone. My current favorite is a jock that used to go to my school. Know where he is working now? A cash station in a shitty gas station. Too fucking bad you realised that no one gives a shit about your sports until now huh? Ah, I love it. Every time you see someone mopping a floor, everytime you see some miserable asshole sitting behind the wheel of a bus or cab, everytime you see some schmuck on a couch sipping beer after beer, you see some asshole who never took anything seriously. They never will amount to anything because they are just to damn stupid. Know what we need to do? Reinforce corporal punishment! That would motivate some assholes to make things out of thmeseves. Oh man do I kick ass.
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Friday, September 17, 2004

Vampires Blow.
Middle class hardcore gothics parading around like they are tough shit. Goddamn I hate these people. They are so easy to spot too. They are usually scrawny kids, wear all black, gt a shitload of those dumbass bracelets on, and whine alot about how bad life is. Isn't about time we killed these assholes? They want to be death, let them meet it face to face. I am so sick of people like these parading around like they are mean shit. Most vampires
1. Are not strong
2. Are terrified by the thought of drinking blood
3. Are only vampires because no one understands them and they are in aot of emotional pain.
Ok, I made that last one up. Point is, vampires are shitty. I don't mean Dracula, as I think putting anyone he didn't like up on a stick is kick ass enough, but by vampire I mean teenage kids who think they are vampires. They go to rave's, have mini orgies they call "feeding" and practice spells. People can't cast spells, as spells do not exist. Reciting some latin cannot curse someone to bad luck. One last thing, is it just me, or at every zombie or vampire or monster movie ever released, is there about a hundred gothic kids who stand at the back and laugh when someone dies at every movie, or are they just here. God dammit I hate vampires.
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Thursday, September 16, 2004

PETA? don't make me laugh.
What the hell is wrong with these dipshits? Yesterday, I was eating at my favorite restaurant, Outback Steakhouse, when four COWS walked in. That's right, cows. They were ranting and raving about how we are all unethical monsters for eating cow and sheep. Well excuse the fuck outta me. I wasn't aware that eating meat made you a horrible person. Why do college kids have to think they are smarter than everyone else? You know its college kids, no one else would actually think that anyone gives a shit about their cause. What pisses me off most is the double standard these veggie assholes are pulling. A plant, by definition, is a living thng. When you bring that up to them, they back down. Why? They know that you are on their bulshit. They act like they are great shit when they are parading around like the morality police, but when you point out what frauds they are, they shut the hell up. All this moral bullshit is just that, bullshit. They drive around proclaiming how pro envirment they are in volvos and talk on cell phones. All using energy and fuel, all polluting. What all these moral enviromentalists and vegetarians need to do is congregate in a huge field somewhere, grow their own crops, and stare at the ground while we drop a payload of bombs on their empty little college middle class dumbass heads. I rest my case.
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Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Forget to drive? How about John's new Ramming Plan!
I was riding to school yesterday when I got cut off by a minivan. Yeah, that's right, a minivan. It was drove by this ugly ass kid, dressed like he was straight outta Compton (and by Compton I really mean Palm Beach), smoking a big cigarette, which he wasn't inhaling on, and listening to that shitty R&B music that wiggers love so much. If i was him, I would be embarrassed to do that. It is astounding the amount of idiots there are on the roadways today. It has gotten to the point that you need to shoot the sonsofbitches just to get to wherever you are going. So I, being my great and all knowing self, created a plan to deal with these highway hooligans. We get a crack team of NASCAAR drivers for their ability to drive in a circle, and some truck drivers so they can work the machinery. Then we send them out on the highway with specially made cars with a huge ram on the front. Whenever they see one of those dumbasses who cant drive cut someone off, or go twenty miles slower then they should, or someone with a blinker on for ten hours, they ram them off the road. There, they keep ramming the car until it is just a big smear on the side of the raod. Finally, they give the bastard a ticket, and strand his ass out there so they have time to think about how shitty their driving is. Then let them figure out a way home. This plan works on many levels because good drivers will be safer, and there will be things on the road at all times to kill should you be pissed off. Oh man my idea kicks ass.
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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Sick./ FAt chicks in short shorts.
I ain't feeling to good lately, so too bad about the updates. Got a stomach cold. I think I got it at the mall. See, I was eating a gyro at the mall, and i noticed that I was surrounded by really, really fat chicks, all of them in the skimpiest, most revealing outfit they could find. I was sickened. Look ladies, if you have a big ass beer gut, do not show it off. Yeah, it may get you laid, but that doesn't mean shit. Why do people need to try and feel accepted for being just like every other whore out there by looking like a slut? why can't they just realize they are whales and cut the whole skimpy thing out? Is it part of the whole thing where we all need to feel great about our selves? Look, we all wish we looked like a supermodel. But you are an insecure lardass who listens to that trendy musical shit just because all your lardass friends do. I am so pissed right now, i am gonna go set my neighbor's dog on fire.
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Sunday, September 12, 2004

Parents. Grow Up, and raise your own goddamn kid.
I actually got bitched at by someone this morning for, get this, buying a five year old a candy bar. The kid was begging his mom for some candy, and being one to hate begging kids anyways, I picked up the candy, bought it (i was ahead of her in line) and offer it to the kid. The kid looked overjoyed, reaches for the bar, and before he could get his hand even near it, his mother had snatched him and shot me a dirty look before lecturing me on how I "shouldn't try to raise other people's kids." Since that was indeed what I was doing, rather than simply being nice to a kid who wanted some chocolate. When are parents gonna realize that there is a world outside of them? Here I am trying to be nice to a kid, and his mom screams at me for it. Parents, trust me on this, do some fucking parenting by yourselves. Get the kid a candy bar, give them a hug, maybe talk to them once and awhile, and quit jogging and gossiping. Who knows, maybe they will grow up and not be like you, a slow witted piece of shit who spends all day finding things to bitch about to Congress that limit personal freedom and gets us closer to a fascist America. That is probably the best argument I have ever made.
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Saturday, September 11, 2004

I hate tech support.
Once again, my internet was down for most of the day. Still is fuzzy, so I need to make this quick. Seems my area is getting tech support. So i called them up to inquire what the problem was. What I got was consumer rhetoric and a massive headache. Here is what I learned about cable service in my area.
1. Comcast is having a sale! Buy high definition cable, get a free channel!
2. Cable is better than satellite, and nay sayers must be beaten.
3. Indians (as in from India) can speak perfect English and cost only about thirty cents an hour.
4. All problems are solved by simply readingyour serial number printed in micro font on the side of the modem. And by solved, I really meant, nothing shall be done.
5. All wait music can induce crying.
I am not exaggerating when I say that I spent about an hour waiting to find out what the hell was wrong with my internet. Up yours Comcast. I am gonna go watch some porn.
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Friday, September 10, 2004

Enough is Enough already.
Ivan the terrible is coming. I think it is safe to say that Punta Gorda is fucked. It is supposed to head right here. Once again, I am not running. But, judging by the looks of things, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. I have nothing else to say in this one. Until later fans.
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Thursday, September 9, 2004

Get a new cause already./ Bad anime
God damn I am tired of people bitching about religion. Get a new cause. Religious debate could go on forever, so stop talking about it. You can't change someone's religious convictions with some pointless rhetoric, so don't try. I am tired of 'enlightened' jerk offs trying to change my religion to suit something they like. Just shut the hell up, and get something else to bitch about. I am sure you can find all sorts of other enlightened blowhards to talk to about things that most people do not give a shit about.

Dear god anime sucks so hard. I just saw the commercial for the new Inuyasha movie. Affectionous Touching Across Time? What kind of name for a movie is that? Better yet, who the hell likes anime? Those are easily some of the dumbest cartoons ever. Random superpowered fighter guy saves world from evil power that is in reality some sort of symbol of industry. GOOD JOB! Jesus, I hate anime
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