Wednesday, September 8, 2004

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For the love of God, not Bill O'Reily!
Who else hates this pompous old fuck? He is the biggest, probably most narcisstic jackass ever. "The Number 1 Watched Show In America". Yeah right Bill. It is so believable that you, an old drama queen who gets off on talking down to total idiots, has the most watched show in America. I always thought that shit pile Friends was the most watched show in America. Why is this man still on TV? He is constantly talking about how much he loves Freedom Of Speech, but then he bitches whenever he hears something he doesn't like. Don't like it Bil? Too fucking bad. My main problem with this guy is how hypocritical heis. He boycotted Pepsi when that one rapper got signed to do commercials for it, but when people don't want to buy his book, suddenly it is a bad thing to boycott people. Hypocrite. It is time we sent this piece of shit trouser stain packing.
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Tuesday, September 7, 2004

A few things that piss me off.
Nothing special, just a short list of things irritating me right now.
1. The Election. Instead of taking shots at each others credibility, maybe both candidates should try for real political merit. Just a thought.
2. The hurricane season. Too many, too fast.
3. People at school. Too many, most of them are angsty as hell, and all of them are idiots.
4. Pink. She sucks. She can't sing, she is not edgy or cool, and she is shitty in every way.
5. Sports Illustrated. Who gives a shit about what losers became good? They are just gonna suck anyway. I hate all sports figures. It is so predicatable. I am a small town nobody, suddenly I amke it big, no one hears from me for awhile, I do drugs, I am a nobody.
6. Ben Affleck. It is time we caned this bitch about a thousand times. Him and Matt Damon both piss me off to an extent previously unheard of. Time for both of them to die.
7. Matrix fans. If I hear, one more thing, about how much the Matrix ruled, I will kill the one responsible for saying it.
8. Michael Moore fans. A lying slander pushing fat ass piece of dog shit. How does this man make money? We need to just put him on the subway diet so he can get light enough to be put in a catapult and shot at a pack of rabid wolverines on PCP.
9. This list. Fuck this, I am going to bed.
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Monday, September 6, 2004

I prank call the Traditional Values Coalition.
Every once and awhile, when I am really bored, I decide to ruin someone else's day with a phone call. Today, it was the Traditional Values Coalition. These self righteous assholes believe the entire country should reverse itself one hundred years. My big beef with these cocksuckers is how they believe that the entire world is going to hell in a handbasket if we don't do all we can to appease them. Today, their view on cussing pissed me off so bad, it had me frothing at the mouth. They believe that the majority of people are fearful of cussing. Bullshit. Most people don't give a shit about cussing. Do any of you? didn't think so. These assholes want us to stop and think of something different to say when we are about to cuss. I had one thing to ask. I called and asked for an informed, well thought, and social person to talk to. I got a guy who sounded like he was ninety and born in Idaho. I asked,
"What makes you the laungauge police?"
To which he responded
"People need someone to tell them what is moral and what is not, that is the way the world works?" Bullshit. So I told him.
"And that is you, a pompous old hillbilly who thinks words are evil?"
Him,
"Yes, and I do not appreciate you calling me a hillbilly."
"Too bad, next question. Are you people aware that one hundred years ago, breast, as in chicken breast, was socially unacceptable?"
His response was pure gold,
"No, but maybe they were right. Breast is too racy for my tastes." I thanked him and hung up. There are no bad words, just bad thoughts. It is all in context. I cuss, on average about once every three sentences in real life. Do I mean or care if I offend someone? No. Why? I use all of my cusses in context. They are simply an expression to augment what I am saying. Ok, I am tired now, so I am going to bed.
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Sunday, September 5, 2004

Fucking Weathermen.
I want to speak a little bit about what I feel is the most arrogant profession in the world. That would be, the weathermen. You see these smug assholes all the time on TV, but they really don't do shit. Job wise, they interpert a fucking map. Big deal. My American Goverment teacher can do that, but she doesn't get paid a big ass salary like that. Instead, she works part time in a fucking bait shop. No justice in the world. See, I would have no problem with these jerkoffs if they realized that their job, is quite literally, impossible. Like predicting the outcome of a battle, there are too many side factors to consider when making a weather prediction. A goddamn breeze will change the weather. It is impossible to make an accurate prediction of the weather. Get off the TV, and get real jobs. Preferably oil drilling.
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Saturday, September 4, 2004

Alive and Kicking.
Well, I am back. God damn that shit was unexpected. We live in ground zero of Charley's landing, the most damaging hurricane that has hit Florida in history. It recently topped Andrew. We fared pretty well. Our house is fine with the exception of our pool cage, which collapsed. Most of the shingles came off our roof, and the shingles of everyone else on our block's house hit ours and went in our pool. I had the fun of taking it out. Another hurricane is supposed to hit tomorrow. Fun fun. No two hundred+ winds this time, but still one hell of a storm. In any case, today, I am still furious over my new accomedations at school. We now have to go to a school all the fuck away from here, about twenty miles, a forty minute drive, in the hottest part of the day. I personally do not care, but everyone else does. Bitch bitch bitch. Prior to the hurricane, everyone was bitching about how they had nothing to do. Now, the new school schedule cuts into their non-existant plans. How I wish they could pull their heads out of their asses. No avail.
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Thursday, August 12, 2004

Want a piece of me Charlie?
Well, today has thusfar been enthralling. A Hurricane is going to be here soon. I say bring it on. I Will not be afraid of a cloud. I am not going to run, hide, or barricade myself. This storm wants a fight, it has one. Bring it on you little drizzle piece of shit.
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Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Prime Time TV. The end of Modern Man.
I recently had the pleasure of seeingone of Fox's latest atrocities, the comedy hour. Now Fox is already on my shit list for canceling Family Guy. This new shit is just, horrible. I am talking of course, about Friends and Will And Grace. What the hell were those people thinking when they signed up to be on these mind rot shit piles? Goddammit, and who the hell watches Friends? If you watch TV to relate, how can you relate to a bunch of pretty assholes who live in a loft and spend 99% of their time fucking each other up the ass or engaging in huge games dealing with others social lives? If you watch TV for unrealistic but cool stuff, why not watch something better, like The Venture Bros.? There is no way out of this one, turn Friends off. Next is Will and Grace, same question. Who can relate to this show? Aging home decorators who live with a gay lawyer? Gay lawyers who never seem to work flirting with EVERY GUY ON THE PLANET? Evil cold maniacal bitch who make millions of dollars but still feel the need to live near cocksuckers like those assholes? Or scrawny gay men who love to enforce a negative stereotype of themselves? Well, pick. Goddammit, now I am so pissed about how much I hate those shows, I think I am gonna go blow up my neighbors.
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Infuriating days.
Well, now I can see why everyone was bitching about school. This is gonna fucking suck. My bus is way to crowded, two of my classes are horrific, and there are now WAY to many people here. I am not joking when I say that the school is now past capacity. Anytime you need a shotgun and a chainsaw to get through all the people, there is to much. I mean HOLY SHIT! Walking from one class to another is really damn hard. What we need is another good disease that wipes out another third or so of the entire planet's population. Then we need another war. A cool one this time, not like this pussy war we got now. A war where you stick your heado ut of the hole for a second, it gets blown off. Then we need myself and my robot pirate ninjas of death to go around icing wiggers, thespians, and all people who listen to good charlotte or blink 182. Oh man that would rule. I kick so much ass it is unbelivable.
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Monday, August 9, 2004

School's back in session.
I have heard so many complaints on "OH NO!! TEH SKEEWL IS TEH STARTED!" lately that it makes me wonder. What is it people are leaving that makes them so eager to stay out of school? Is it sleeping in or staying up to watch cartoons? I can't figure it out. Why is everyone bitching that school is in session? Jesus you damn pussies, grow up. There is always gonna be some shit you do not want to do, but you have to do it anyways. Now get your ass to school.
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