Sunday, August 8, 2004

World Peace and other idealistic bullshit.
There was just a commercial on TV that stated "World Peace is in our grasp". Bullshit. Let me give you hippy dipshits a little lesson in human history. There has NEVER been world peace. Ever. Even during Pax Romana, there was no world peace in China, North and South America, or in half of Russia. It is against human nature to be peaceful. Even the most devout Buddhist can be pushed to the point of snapping and killing someone. I have actually gotten a peace advocate frothing at the mouth. So fuck world peace. Moving along to the next idealistic mind stain, gun control. Guns do not kill people, assholes with guns do. If more people had guns, there would be less crimes in the world. Why? Are you really gonna try and rob someone if they have a gun? Didn't think so. Also, putting bans on guns doesn't stop criminals from robbing people. Instead, they look for an alternate means of scaring people. Personally, I would hurl cats at people. Next up comes Communism. Contrary to "intellectual" belief, this does not work. Simple fact is, greed and ambition kick communism in the face every single time. That's enough of this rant, I hate you all and I am off to bed.
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Sources of my wisdom. A brief bio of me.
I getm ost of my rants off of the little things people do around me. Everything you see here was made in it's entirity by me. I steal no one's ideas, and ask no one to pimp out my site like I really want the extra viewers. If you want to, go right ahead. Pretty much everything I write about is stuff that happens to me on my daily adventures. Just little things that people do gnaw away at me in the back of my head until I can't take it, and write it down here before hitting a pillow or working. I am great because I let no one else weigh me down. I currently have no girlfriend, we broke up last December, and I can't say I miss her. Back on topic, I decided to start this thing up out of boredom due to my shitty ass vacation from school. That's all you get. Updates will now come at about six in the morning rather than midnight starting Monday. Night all, hope youi all die in your sleep.
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Saturday, August 7, 2004

How to be a complete asshole!
Tonight, I have decided to go a slightly different direction. Instead of complaining, I am offering some advice. How to be like me, the greatest guy in the universe! In other words, how to be a jerk.
Step One- Help no one. This is important. Anytime someone asks for your help, just say no, you do not want to, and you never will. Soon, people will stop trying.
Step Two- Take things. People will start to trust you less, and hide the valubles when you visit.
Step Three- Be mean to children. Very, very important. Kid haters go far in the world because they do not worry about what they are doing for the future's children.
Step Four- Smoke. Enforces badass persona.
Step Five- Lie, cheat, and steal more stuff. This one is self explanatory. Cheaters and liars go very far in the world.
Step Six- Become really good at proving people wrong. People will be impressed at how great you are if you can make them sound stupid at everything they say.
Step Seven- Make innappropraite jokes when people who will get offended are near. Again, self explanatory.
Step Eight- Complain. Alot.
Step Nine- Flip people off.
Step Ten- Be Lazy.
Step Eleven- screw this, I am going to bed.
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Thursday, August 5, 2004

Really, no one cares about your religion.
I want to be honest, I hate punks. I hate gothics, and I hate all those idiots who stil think religion is a great topic to bitch about. Really, no one cares. Get a new cause. If I hear anymore from either camp, atheist or pagan, about how shitty christianity is, I will kill them. No one gives a shit what new age bullshit you are into. Really. I am bored to death of people complaining about how horrible so and so is due to their religion. Get a new cause. This debate has been going on for years, and it is high time we gave it a rest. Most people drift from one simplistic cult to the next, merely because they have no sense of self and want to feel bigger than they actually are. Nothing else. Man, I hate people. Except Pantera. He kicks almost as much ass as me.
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More dumbasses I go to school with.
Well, as a continued informative article, there are still some more that I left out of the priot list. Four to be exact. Slow night here fellas.
1. Redneck- Easily the most pitiful group, this group is full of internal strife and fighting. Typical redneck is easy to spot. Blue Jeans, Dixie Outfitters shirt, boots, rebel flag somewhere on them. Real genuises here.
2. Playah- White kids who think they are black, or black kids who think they live in Compton. While not as numerous as the rednecks, these guys are almost twice as stupid. Baggy pants, chains (blings) and sneakers, as well as a fubu sweatshirt even though it is over a hundred degrees outside.
3. Fighter- Hates everyone and everything. Wants to fight literally everyone. Can be apart of any other group.
4. Stoner- Most common. Plays video games, does alot of drugs, talks about sex ALL THE DAMN TIME! Easily one of the dumbest groups, these assholes amount to about as much as jocks.

That's all of em. All of them piss me off, and all of them need to get pushed into a fire. That'll teach those dipshits to fit into groups.
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Wednesday, August 4, 2004

Tech Support. Finally, something worse than hippies.
There were alot of computer problems at my house today. My internet was down, all thanks to my network adapter. Now instead of checking that and fixing the damn problem this morning when it happened, I had an experience that I believe will happen in hell. I think I must have broken some sort of record for annoying shit to happen on tech support. I got the following people.
1. Indian guy who was eager to help, but really hard to understand.
Time spent with- two hours.
2. Sassy mouthed black girl- Connected me to the billing department. Got smart with me all the way until I contacted her manager.
Time spent with- 45 minutes.
3. College guy obsessed with Counter Strike- This asshole infuriated me. For one, I spent the majority of the time with him, second, I tried to make it painfully obvious that I DON'T PLAY THAT SHIT PILE COUNTERSTRIKE! Nonetheless, in between wait times, he had to tell me his life story of Counter Strike. Also, not very helpful.
Time spent with- four hours.
Last but not least, my favorite- Machine guy- Has that irritating monotone voice. Gave me all my options over and over, and broke when it asked for what type of PC I use and I told it.
Time spent with- 15 minutes. That's right, I have spent literally 7 hours on the phone today. And none of them helped. Not one of them. They all suck in comparison to my kick ass neighbor with his sweet hacking skills. He had that bug fixed in about ten minutes, and he did it while talking to me about a good game (POstal 2) and drinking a soda. Hats off to him. Fuck you compaq and fuck you comcast. You go ahead with your pretend prose, im sticking with my neighbor from now on.

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Tuesday, August 3, 2004

Hollywood can blow me.
Where have all the really good movies gone? It used to be, movies had original ideas and featured something to make you think. Now they all fall into one of three categories.
Vomit Inducing Romantic Comedy- Boy tries like hell to impress a snobby too good for you twat. Really sappy and boring.
No Plot Action Movie- Features no plot, sub par action scenes., and a girl with too much brains who is socially inept.
Scary Movie- Boring scenes of generic monster running around. Really damn boring.

Whatever happened to the really good movies like Rambo, True Lies, and The Last Boy Scout? Movies that made sense, made you think, and had really damn cool shit going on? Like in True Lies, when Arnold turned that diesel truck into a flamethrower to melt those terrorists? Or In Boy Scout, when Bruce Willis did a happy jig after killing the bad guy? Movies that ruled! Hollywood has gone soft on me. In a day and age where Matt Damon is considered an action star and Ben Affleck is a war hero, what is the point of seeing a movie? I have an idea for a movie. There are zombies everywhere for some reason, and two guys wtih flamethrowers and chainsaws are sent out to kill them. That would rule. Fuck Matt damon, fuck Ben Affleck, and fuck that little shithead Toby McGuire. I hate movies these days.
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Monday, August 2, 2004

I dont't like you.
Last poem I am doing.

If I thought you could find the way, I'd tell you to go get lost.
I can't ask you to pay attention
Seeing how you can't afford the cost.
I don't like you.

You are a disgrace to the human race,
you are a waste of time, a name, and space.
I look at you, and that state your in,
Compared to you, Roseanne is thin.
I Don't like you.

If a thought came into your head,
it would die a lonely death
you rate absolute zero,
no more but maybe less.
I don't like you.

You don't entertain ideas,
you only bore them.
You couldn't find your feet
if you were looking for them.
I don't like you

Looking at you,
its hard for me
next to you,
is no where to be.
I don't like you.

So tell me, better than my poem to a gothic loser?
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Sunday, August 1, 2004

I review The Village (no spoilers)
The monsters are the elders in suits, and it's set in modern times. What, you thought I was being serious? Be glad, I just saved you assholes ten bucks and two hours of your life. That movie, while not nearly as shitty as Spiderman 2, was horrible. For starters, and I mean literally, the beginning of the movie, we get to see a Monster (known from here on out as Red Riding Hood, or RRH for short) walking around aimlessly. This threw me off when I remembered it after the revealing of the fact that the RRH was really an old dude in a suit. Why was the RRH walking around in his cloak in braod daylight? No explanation.. Next comes about half an hour of plot building. I use that term loosely, since there is very little plot so much to references of modern society being bad. That seems to be a theme in Shyamalan's films. Watch the preview, that is quit literally all you need to see of this movie is the preview. It contains all the good stuff. After the plot building, we get a strange attack by the Red Riding Hoods. Since all the old crusty assholes were in town at the time, we must assume it really was a monster and not Red Riding Hood! The RRH paint a cross on all the walls with apparently a paintbrush, and leave. More plot building, the only cool part of the movie where a retard crazy guy stabs someone, and then more plot building til we get the SHOCKING SECRET PLOT TWIST! The movie is happening in modern times! Which leads to my question, if those elders were trying to get innocence into that town, why was the entire thing built on lies? Hmmm? Still no explanation. Point of all this, do not see The Village. Save your money, and rent Cabin Fever, a far superior movie. Don't take my advice that it sucked, read some other reviews. That reminds me of how stupid most people are. Never trust anyone who gave that ball of shit a good review. Stay tuned tomorrow when I post my world renowned poem (the only other one you shall ever see) I Don't Like You.
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Saturday, July 31, 2004

Damn I hate MTV.
What the hell is the point in watching that shitty network? Is it the Real World? A bunch of college assholes playing grabass? Is it Those two Jackass spin offs, where people marinate themselves in shit and intentionally hurt themselves? Maybe it is all the censored videos? Whatever it is, you can always tell one of the MTV watchers by looking at them. Spiked hair, pierced ears, wifebeater, baggy shorts, and a skateboard because we all know the XTREME SPORTS R TEH KEWL!!!!1 I honestly can not figure out why people think that bullshit is cool. Hey everyone, a guy taking a shit in public, that's good TV! Turn that shit off, put on Family Guy. Stupid pricks.
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