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• GoldenAlasathor
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• alasathor

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Gender
• Male
Location
• Earth. Florida, the shittiest place since Utah. Punta Gorda. A town of rednecks and old people.
Member Since
• 2004-06-01
Occupation
• Ass whooper. Owner of all. Jerk, asshole, and prick.
Real Name
• John The Greatest Thing Ever

Personal

Achievements
• Succesfully pissed off a really devout nun, hinduist, and buddhist monk.
Anime Fan Since
• I am not a japanese cartoon fan.
Favorite Anime
• What did I just tell you dumbass?
Goals
• Be richer than you, figure out where my socks go while cleaning them.
Hobbies
• Toungue sharpening, writing, making fun of angsty teens.
Talents
• Arguing, insulting, am reasonably good fencer, amatuer boxer, and quality bullshit debunker.




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myOtaku.com: Alasathor


Sunday, July 18, 2004

I had to kill several hundred hippies today.
Hippies attacked me today. I was seeing a movie, and when I came out, hippies everywhere. I had to pull out my machine gun and waste as many of them as I could. I was shooting and shooting, and heads were flying off and bodies exploding into blood and entrails, but there was so many. So I screamed at the top of my lungs "KUNG FU ROBOT PIRATE NINJAS OF DEATH! ATTACK!" And with a mighty Yo-Ho, fifty robots jumped out of the ceiling going "ARRRRR" We attacked the hippies. My crew of fifty robots versus a thousand hippies. They were shooting stupid rays out of their peace sign fingers and hurling those little buttons at us, but we fought on. I grabbed a spare sword off of one of my robots, and we went to town. We hacked off arms, decapitated them, and disembowled them, but more kept coming. We were being overwhelmed. Suddenly, a brilliant light blew up behind me, and Jesus, dressed as a ninja pirate, walked out of it. He pulled out a big ray gun, and vaporized most of the hippies in one big blast. Me and the robots killed the remaining hippies.
"Thanks Jesus." I said as he walked into the light he came from.
"Just doing my part to get rid of hippies John." He said as he vanished. True story.
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