myOtaku.com: Alasathor

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Gender
• Male
Location
• Earth. Florida, the shittiest place since Utah. Punta Gorda. A town of rednecks and old people.
Member Since
• 2004-06-01
Occupation
• Ass whooper. Owner of all. Jerk, asshole, and prick.
Real Name
• John The Greatest Thing Ever

Personal

Achievements
• Succesfully pissed off a really devout nun, hinduist, and buddhist monk.
Anime Fan Since
• I am not a japanese cartoon fan.
Favorite Anime
• What did I just tell you dumbass?
Goals
• Be richer than you, figure out where my socks go while cleaning them.
Hobbies
• Toungue sharpening, writing, making fun of angsty teens.
Talents
• Arguing, insulting, am reasonably good fencer, amatuer boxer, and quality bullshit debunker.

myOtaku.com: Alasathor

Sunday, August 1, 2004

I review The Village (no spoilers)
The monsters are the elders in suits, and it's set in modern times. What, you thought I was being serious? Be glad, I just saved you assholes ten bucks and two hours of your life. That movie, while not nearly as shitty as Spiderman 2, was horrible. For starters, and I mean literally, the beginning of the movie, we get to see a Monster (known from here on out as Red Riding Hood, or RRH for short) walking around aimlessly. This threw me off when I remembered it after the revealing of the fact that the RRH was really an old dude in a suit. Why was the RRH walking around in his cloak in braod daylight? No explanation.. Next comes about half an hour of plot building. I use that term loosely, since there is very little plot so much to references of modern society being bad. That seems to be a theme in Shyamalan's films. Watch the preview, that is quit literally all you need to see of this movie is the preview. It contains all the good stuff. After the plot building, we get a strange attack by the Red Riding Hoods. Since all the old crusty assholes were in town at the time, we must assume it really was a monster and not Red Riding Hood! The RRH paint a cross on all the walls with apparently a paintbrush, and leave. More plot building, the only cool part of the movie where a retard crazy guy stabs someone, and then more plot building til we get the SHOCKING SECRET PLOT TWIST! The movie is happening in modern times! Which leads to my question, if those elders were trying to get innocence into that town, why was the entire thing built on lies? Hmmm? Still no explanation. Point of all this, do not see The Village. Save your money, and rent Cabin Fever, a far superior movie. Don't take my advice that it sucked, read some other reviews. That reminds me of how stupid most people are. Never trust anyone who gave that ball of shit a good review. Stay tuned tomorrow when I post my world renowned poem (the only other one you shall ever see) I Don't Like You.
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