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• Earth. Florida, the shittiest place since Utah. Punta Gorda. A town of rednecks and old people.
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• 2004-06-01
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• Ass whooper. Owner of all. Jerk, asshole, and prick.
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• Succesfully pissed off a really devout nun, hinduist, and buddhist monk.
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• I am not a japanese cartoon fan.
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myOtaku.com: Alasathor


Saturday, August 7, 2004

How to be a complete asshole!
Tonight, I have decided to go a slightly different direction. Instead of complaining, I am offering some advice. How to be like me, the greatest guy in the universe! In other words, how to be a jerk.
Step One- Help no one. This is important. Anytime someone asks for your help, just say no, you do not want to, and you never will. Soon, people will stop trying.
Step Two- Take things. People will start to trust you less, and hide the valubles when you visit.
Step Three- Be mean to children. Very, very important. Kid haters go far in the world because they do not worry about what they are doing for the future's children.
Step Four- Smoke. Enforces badass persona.
Step Five- Lie, cheat, and steal more stuff. This one is self explanatory. Cheaters and liars go very far in the world.
Step Six- Become really good at proving people wrong. People will be impressed at how great you are if you can make them sound stupid at everything they say.
Step Seven- Make innappropraite jokes when people who will get offended are near. Again, self explanatory.
Step Eight- Complain. Alot.
Step Nine- Flip people off.
Step Ten- Be Lazy.
Step Eleven- screw this, I am going to bed.
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