myOtaku.com: Alasathor

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Gender
• Male
Location
• Earth. Florida, the shittiest place since Utah. Punta Gorda. A town of rednecks and old people.
Member Since
• 2004-06-01
Occupation
• Ass whooper. Owner of all. Jerk, asshole, and prick.
Real Name
• John The Greatest Thing Ever

Personal

Achievements
• Succesfully pissed off a really devout nun, hinduist, and buddhist monk.
Anime Fan Since
• I am not a japanese cartoon fan.
Favorite Anime
• What did I just tell you dumbass?
Goals
• Be richer than you, figure out where my socks go while cleaning them.
Hobbies
• Toungue sharpening, writing, making fun of angsty teens.
Talents
• Arguing, insulting, am reasonably good fencer, amatuer boxer, and quality bullshit debunker.

myOtaku.com: Alasathor

Tuesday, January 4, 2005

The strange and interesting people of my church.
For those of you who do not know, I am a devout Roman Catholic who just happens to be one of the worst sinners in his parish. Over the next three days, I shall tell of three very interesting occurences at my church, made exceptional by who the people bothering me were. Today's tale of My Church happened just the other day. There is a man in the back that no one sits by. He is a lonely man, slow in the mind, and very creepy looking. He is hunched over all the time, wears enormous coke bottle glasses, and is bald. Most days, he sits there all alone, not talking or moving until church is over, then he gets up and leaves. I used to think he was alone for the strange smell he emits, but no. Sunday, I discovered the real reason. About midway through the service, it hit me that this creepy, balding, middle aged man was... staring at me. Not a sideways stare like I would expect, but actually turned towards me, looking right at me. Or rather, my crotch. I start staring at him. Soon his gaze shifts up so he is looking at me. Well, at my eyes now.
"That's a mighty fine looking Bible you got there" he says. I play it cool.
"Yeah, and you know what else? You have one right in front of you." Real smooth. The rest of church, he kept staring at me. Or more precisely, my crotch. Then church ended, and we get to the parking lot. I am in a hurry to get as far away from my pedophillic freind, and he is in a hurry to do the strangest thing ever. Normally, I would take this as a compliment and just leave faster, but seeing an old ass like that playing pocket pool with his eyes closed at the bus stop. Fucking grand. Another parishoner, and older woman by the name of Ethel, came up and said "and now you know why we don't sit by him." I hate my life for that. Come tomorrow for an episode with a midget.
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