myOtaku.com: Alasathor

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Gender
• Male
Location
• Earth. Florida, the shittiest place since Utah. Punta Gorda. A town of rednecks and old people.
Member Since
• 2004-06-01
Occupation
• Ass whooper. Owner of all. Jerk, asshole, and prick.
Real Name
• John The Greatest Thing Ever

Personal

Achievements
• Succesfully pissed off a really devout nun, hinduist, and buddhist monk.
Anime Fan Since
• I am not a japanese cartoon fan.
Favorite Anime
• What did I just tell you dumbass?
Goals
• Be richer than you, figure out where my socks go while cleaning them.
Hobbies
• Toungue sharpening, writing, making fun of angsty teens.
Talents
• Arguing, insulting, am reasonably good fencer, amatuer boxer, and quality bullshit debunker.

myOtaku.com: Alasathor

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Goddammit God hates me I know it.
I finally get my computer working, and my phone line gets severed by, get this, a bolt of lightning. Thinking God might be trying to say something to me. Anyway, on to the midget.

One sunny Sunday, I showed up to church late and ended up sitting by a parishoner I had never seen before. A young female midget. Normally, a midget would catch my eye the second they stepped within fifty feet of me, but this one has apparently been under (heh heh) my radar for several months. She sits right next to me. I stare. Confrontation developes in the parking lot.
"What, do you have a staring problem or something?" she asked, knowing the answer all to well. Unfortunetly, my traitorous mouth made the situation about a hundred times worse.
"Well, I was only trying to see if you were a person, or just a stool,". Smooth one. She got flustered and walked away. Cut forward one week. I go to church and who should sit next to me, none other than the midget. And this time, she brought her boyfreind to teach me a lesson. Normally, this would be a valiant and heroic thing for him, but when you are also a midget, teaching a lesson is not a good idea. They sit, girl to my left, boy to my right, staring at me throughout church. Awkward. Especially when we got to the parking lot. One thing to note, I am a grade A trashtalker, and I wasn't about to back down to a midget.
"So mother fucker, heard you don't like my people."
"You people keep bringing my inquirisitive mind on yourselves. Now, are you two stools or a love seat?" He screams and charges me. Impulse got me before sense did. WHAM! My foot, midget's chest. He crumples like a napkin. I decide to vacate the premises. I run, get in my car and drive off as fast as I can. I learn later I broke two of his ribs and fractured his sternum with one kick. Damn I rule. Plus, the girl stopped giving me lip service.In retrospect, that may have been the dumbest action, but hell, it worked.
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