myOtaku.com: Alasathor

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Vitals

Gender
• Male
Location
• Earth. Florida, the shittiest place since Utah. Punta Gorda. A town of rednecks and old people.
Member Since
• 2004-06-01
Occupation
• Ass whooper. Owner of all. Jerk, asshole, and prick.
Real Name
• John The Greatest Thing Ever

Personal

Achievements
• Succesfully pissed off a really devout nun, hinduist, and buddhist monk.
Anime Fan Since
• I am not a japanese cartoon fan.
Favorite Anime
• What did I just tell you dumbass?
Goals
• Be richer than you, figure out where my socks go while cleaning them.
Hobbies
• Toungue sharpening, writing, making fun of angsty teens.
Talents
• Arguing, insulting, am reasonably good fencer, amatuer boxer, and quality bullshit debunker.

myOtaku.com: Alasathor

Tuesday, February 1, 2005

The Nun
Ahhh, the last in my trilogy of church related horrors. Note, this one doesn't happen at the church I go to now, this happened at a Catholic School I used to attend before getting thrown out. This story revolves around a nun I swear had it out for me. She was old, I mean Mother Theresa was sucking bottles when she was made a nun old, and had a heart of raw titanium. She would carve a bloody swath through anyone foolish enough to ditch class at the school, using her ruler of justice to crack the heathenous knuckles of us skippers. One day, she sees me skipping. I do what is natural for a coward of my magnitude, I run like hell. She gives chase. For an old bitch, that nun could RUN! Stamina and speed, she was hot on my heels like you would not believe. SHe followed me off campus in a mad dash down Kenzie Avenue. Oh what a sight we must have been, a uniformed school boy running in terror from a reject from penguin octogenarians. I thought I could ditch her in an enormous department store. I rush in about sixty feet in front of her, rushing into the women's clothing department. I duck down inside circular dress display, thinking I could hide there until the chill was off. WRONG! The nun comes bounding up, slowing to catch her breath. She was no more than five feet away, so close I could hear the cobwebs in her lungs rattling as she panted. She sniffed the air, looking, searching for me, the delinquint that made her run. Then, out of nowhere, she snatched me by my HAIR! Out of the display, into the aisle, she dragged me, kicking and screaming all the way back to school. I must say, having my knuckles whacked with a ruler and being force to write "I will never run in a high speed away from the Catholic School while being pursued by the Prioress due to my ditching of a required class again" 500 times was a small price to pay for the simple look on the Dean's face when he saw her dragging me into his ofice.
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