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• Earth. Florida, the shittiest place since Utah. Punta Gorda. A town of rednecks and old people.
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• 2004-06-01
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myOtaku.com: Alasathor


Thursday, May 26, 2005

More hippy slapping fun today.
More hippies assualted me today. I was coming out of an adult bookstore, minding my own business, when suddenly, I was surrounded by anti- logging enviro hippies armed with signs and natural hair care products. I decided to violence them up a little bit. Grabbing my trusty tire iron of Horrible Pain, I started swinging at the hippies. Some ran off, but most stood and fought. Luckily, their superior numbers meant nothing as their diets of grains and nuts (both kinds) left them to weak to put up much of a fight. Unfortunetly, the other hippies that ran off had gotten more hippy reinforcements in the form of animal rights activists, led by Alec Baldwin. I unloaded a shotgun blast of "the rest of the world would kill for a burger you elitist frauds" but Baldwin repelled it with his unnaturally dep voice saying "But animals have feelings too!" Thinking quickly, I grabbed a shovel off the ground and started whaling on his head. He just wouldn't stop quoting PETA doctrine, and right as my common sense started to die and I just began the metamorphisis to one of them, the shovel hit his temple and blew his head in half. Seeing their leader defeated, the rest of the hippies quickly ran. I chased them all down and stomped a big boot filled with iron and leather and anger onto each of their brains. True story.
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