myOtaku.com: Alex the Lion

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1992-10-20
Gender
• Female
Location
• the punk streets
Member Since
• 2005-06-16
Occupation
• im in a band, and do quite alot of sk8ing
Real Name
• Sarah

Personal

Achievements
• im in a band and i sk8 and im am rich yay
Anime Fan Since
• dunno dun care
Favorite Anime
• anime is super gay
Goals
• famous me woot woot!
Hobbies
• guitar sk8ing and acting like a horse's ass
Talents
• being an idiot THANK U BAM!!!!!!

myOtaku.com: Alex the Lion

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Broken Home, Broken Life, Broken Child-Part 9-City Of The Damned(Dirty City, Hearts, And Minds, Blacketed In White Like A Hidden Sin)
"FUCK!!!!" i yelled as a came outta the bathroom around 12 noon. "what?" Tuck asked as he puffed a cigeratte. he was sitting in the window still and we had gotten 4 inches of snow and it was still falling. it was amazing, how the dirty streets could b sooo white. but it nvr stayed that way for long. soon the snow would be dirty too. but we could enjoy it while it lasted. now back 2 what i was saying......i looked at Tuck and laffed a lil, "this bandage iches like a bitch." i said. Tuck laffed a lil 2, he chocked on his cigeratte, and i started laffing at that. that smoke went down his throat and made him cough. he was laffing and choughin and chokin. and it was a hi-lite moment. a momet where we could laugh, and it ment sumthing. it wasnt THAT funny but still a comic relief. we didnt leave until 7o'clock that day. it was a tiresome day indeed. we sat around and watch MTV. it was kinda cool knowing we were only 25 minutes away from the TRL set. it was like not feeling sooo distant from what u want, who u want 2 b, and who u know. like it was rite there with u. all the time, everytime. so when we left it was dark. i liked it better at nite, it was more fun, and there was more 2 c and do. most of the people around here were nite owls anywho. me and Tuck went around, visiting clubs and meeting new people. alot of them, wide eyed and drop mouthed when they saw me, yes me the great Kurt-Cain going 2 c them. alot of them didnt care, they were just sitting there, maybe a head nod, maybe a "hey Kurt-Cain" but they didnt grovel at my feet like alot of them did. hardly anybody knew Tuck, but he didnt care. just the fact that he was my rite hand man made him feel superior, and better, he wasnt just one of my humble servants. i didnt like calling my people that, but they seemed scared, confused, afraid of what i would do to them. they had only heard stories, not ever met me. there was a great deal of partying going on since the death of MadDog the nite word got out fast here, just like i said. if anything bad or good should ever happen, every1 would know within 10 hours of when it happened. then the atmosphere out here would change dramatically. when the club streets started thinig out, we figured we would head back, there was hardly anything 2 do but party. and usually if no one lived where u were walking u could get hurt, maybe even killed!! so on our way back we took extra pre-caution. when we were walking a voice beamed from an alleyway, "well well well look who we got here....." me and Tuck were startled, it was so shadowy and dark we had no idea of who it could b. it was snowing too. the voice continued, "if it isnt Kurt-Cain, and......" "Tuck!!" Tuck said with confidence. "yeah, Tuck pleasure 2 meet u. "well" i sad, annoyed. "well what" the voice said back, "what do u want." i asked, this conversation was almost comical. "well Kurt-Cain, this is a privilege 4 u my humble leader." he asid as he emerged from the shadows, he continued, "my name is Randall, but most call me Rads, and for what reason i have no clue." me and Tuck looked at each other and back at Rads. "i wanted u 2 witness me suisde." he continued. me and Tuck knew what witnessing suisde was, horrible. we each had witnessed at least one murder. Rads was stern, around 17. i cant believe i was only 15 and i was the leader. he looked at me and Tuck, he was impatient. "well?" he said. me and Tuck didnt want 2 but b4 we could say anything Rads pulled one of those, well c for yourslef, "listen u assfaceed punk," he held a knife 2 my throat, he was rite 2 call me punk, but not assedfaced i draw the line at shitty-assed comebacks like that, like sumthing sum1 made up, and since i nvr heard that in my life even from my dad who was the king of cursing i knew he had made that stupid word up. "u and your shit faced friend better watch me die, or i will kill both your asses." i stared at him. he was at least 5 inches taller than me, i smerked, i wasnt afraid of him, "well in that case." i grabbed the knife and stuck it in his throat. he fell 2 the ground chocking. but b4 he died he said, "now u have the death of one of your followers on your hands. can u really take the guilt? we all know about your dad, the fire, MadDog, face it Kurt, your crazy.!!" he fell flat. dead. the knife lodged in his throat. i started stopping off. Tuck followed. "your just gonna leave him here?" he asked, "not my problem" i said back 2 him. "well u could have talked him outta it." "no i couldnt have" i was still stomping down the sidewalk. the rats cleared paths and people stared at me. i didnt care. Tuck grabbed me and turned me against his face. "no Kurt. it is your problem. u just killed an inisent man. sum1 u didnt even know, hes dead now, a knife in his throat." that was murder Kurt not what u did 2 your dad or MadDog this was real murder" i kicked Tuck in the nuts, "DONT TELL ME WHAT MURDER IS!! U THINK I DONT KNOW U THINK I DONT UNDERSTAND U THINK IM FUCKIN STUPID!!!! "but Kurt...." he rendered "BUT KURT NUTHIN!! I DID WHAT I HAD 2 DO EVERYTIME I NEEDED 2 DO WHAT I HAD 2 DO DONT TELL ME TUCK IM NOT STUPID!!!" i grabbed him by his color and looked him in the eye, eyes heavy, "do u not understand how much ive cried since we got here? do u not understand what ive put up with or did? ive made sum hard desicions, your sooo full of shit. and dont pull a suiside this time. cause u know what will happen." i released him. then i flashed back, and i relized what i was turning in2, what i reminded myself of.

my father

Tuck backed up. he kicked the ground, "well then fuck u Kurt im leavin" he turned around and started running. and he didnt look back. i was on the ground. every1 was staring at me. i pulled a gun outta my pocket. "OK WHO EVER IS WITHIN 50 FEET OF ME IN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES IS GETTING SHOT AUTOMATICALLY!!!" every started running. i felt bad about that2, cause my dad used guns as intimidation all the time. i sat the sidewalk, leaned up against the wall. i was crying. that gun was lookin pretty friendly. what did i need 2 stay here 4. i didnt know what 2 do anymore. Tuck was gone, i had just commited a murder. i was alone. 4 the first time i was alone. i thought 2 when i was watching Green Day music videos, Blvd of Broken Dreams, but it wasnt Billie Joe walking down that road, it was me. it was me, and i didnt have Tre or Mike of Tuck or any1, it was me. out on the dirty city streets with no one but myself. and i was no longer Green Day's so called "Jesus of Suburbia" i was Kurt. just Kurt Blackwood, kid from smalltown Fairville, New Jersey, no more Tuck, no more gang under the bridge. no parents. i wasnt anybody special i wasnt the mighty Kurt-Cain i was Kurt, and that made me not matter. becuz i had nuthing left, no family, no home, hardly any money, and now no friend. i had gone crazed. within my reflection in the puddles from the snow, i saw not me but my father. i was not even Kurt anymore, i had sunk 2 Robert Blackwood, as low as it got. when i was crying, the snow melted, and the streets turned dirty and blakc. no longer a brilliant white, no longer welcoming at all. just the dirty black streets. nothing came 2 mind as of who i was. i 4got that nite. i was just sum kid, Kurt Blackwood, not punk royalty, not a sex god, not a druggie, or a lover or a fighter. judt a troubled lil rebelious teenager. it was gone. it was all gone. Tuck was gone. and now even i was gone. it was black. just an abyss of black. and it felt like eterity in 30 seconds. hell, pure hell. i went in2 a near-by alleyway. of corse my razor was out, probobly seemed like the best time 2 use it. the blood wrote

ive lost me
who am i
all there is
is the blakc road
and the black sky
no longer the winner
and always the loser
not the one chosen
but the chooser
i had 2 make the desicons
decide on the spot
doesnt matter if they were right or not
seemed like the thing 2 do
ive lost em all
and i lost u
and now i have no where 2 go
thoughts of u
and my broken home

and i didnt feel like returning 2 the world, but instead stayed in the alley, like the demon i was. and slept and cryed. where was Tuck? and what was i gonna do? did any1 care?

to be continued

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