Sunday, November 20, 2005

   Listening to...

I'm listening to music right now and I realize that part of the reason why I've been feeling so sickly lately is because I never listen to music anymore... I NEED it because its how I releave stress, even if I dont sing along or anything just listening to it it gives me strenght... not that that's my only source of strenght but It helps... anyway I feel pretty good right now just relaxing for the time being... chatting with some friends... I wanted to let you guys know that I miss you, all of you but some of you stick out because of the fact that you've been more than friends to me some of you have been like family... where is everyone now? I wonder is everyone ok? well thats all my time right now... 'till next time... AleXavier

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Thursday, November 17, 2005

   Not sure about my mood...

OK let me start off with letting everyone know that my I just got back from Puerto Rico... I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone that I was leaving, but It was all rush rush. My grandmother died last week and we had to have her moved to Puerto Rico to burry her there. It was the worst trip ever, even though I was happy to go back homoe, and to see my family again, my mothers family was a mess, including me. I held out 'till the very end but when we buried her I cried like a little girl... On the other hand, I found out I'm not as estranged from my fathers family as I thought. Sure I hadn't seen them in a while, but when I did it was awesome. It was the one good day i had in PR. We had a barbecue at my grandmothers house and all of my dad's family was there, and for the first time in 8 years I felt like I really did have a family, like I hgad people who would love me no matter what. I even ended up telling some of them that I'm gay. I was so happy to see all my little cousins. And I met some new nieces and nephews as well as seeing some "old" ones lol. I got to hang out with and talk to a lot my older/same age cousins. I miss them so much now... but its ok because I will see them again and I know that I'll still be theyre cousin, and they will be mine! I feel so good about family right now!!! Here are some pix!!! My brother and sister at the beach, it was a stormy day but I loved it all the more... My cousin Jan Carlos and my brother standing behind Zach, my favorite little cousin Jan Carlos and I holding up my cousin Luis "Tito" and his brother, Jose, is grabing his "stuff"... My brother Walter, my sister Laura, and My half sister Ciata is holding my little sister Paola... thats me in the corner... My cousins, The one with short hair is Johan, the one with the mohawk is Zach, and the little girl is Danelis, they are my uncle Danny's kids. My favorite little cousin Zach, he's the best... My crazy ass cousin Angel with my mom and little sister. (Starting from the left) Hector (cousin) Walter (brother) Gabriel (2nd cousin) Giovanny (cousin) and David (cousin) at the funeral home... And last but not least my little baby Edmarie!!! I had just given her a cookie... look at that smile!!!!!!!! Well I got more pix but I think thats enough... my site will take eons to load now lol... 'till next time... AleXavier

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Friday, November 4, 2005

   SHEIST!!!!!

OK guys, its been a long time but instead of baing all apologetic, I'm gonna pretend Ive been here all along and just do a normal, and funny post... Well this morning as I was getting ready to come to work, I decided to shave, and as I shaved I noticed that my hairline was starting to grow in, so I decided to to shape it... now a sidetrack... Ever had one of those sneezes that just comes out of nowhere, you know like... you dont even know its coming it just does, well my friends... this story contains one of those and one fucked up morning... (Back to story) Well as I was doing my hairline, I suddenly sneezed and my hand kinda slipped, and well my hairline which is supposed to look like this: Looks like this: SO now I'm a work, and gonna tell everyone that I was dropped on my head as a child and that I've always had that scar... well I guess this just means the day can't get any worse... *knocks on wood* 'till next time... AleXavier

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

   Hi

hi everyone I dont have a lot of time because I wasted my lunch hour reading Manga... time flies and you dont even notice it in this place... damn!!!! Oh well Just saying hi... I had my first clash at work today lol... well I'll update during my break later on so check back again then ok? Bye!!! AleXavier

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Monday, October 17, 2005

   heh...

Tonight I work until 8, now Ive worked nights before, but never as a clerk... not downtown anyway, so I guess its kind of a new experience... anyway whats up everyone? I know only a few of you still come by but that just makes me appreciate it more, hm.... I dunno what else to say... haha working is great!!!! GOD I hated being a lifeless lump at home and I make the most money out of anyone else I know my age, woot woot!!!! I cant wait for my paycheck next week... HAHAHAHA!!!!! hm... I LOVE J-music, has anyone ever oheard of Shinjitsu no uta? ir Yami nbo Matsuei, they are by D.O.A. and Le arc en ciel (respectively)well gotta go, ttyl!!! AleXavier

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Friday, October 14, 2005

   Hello everyone

'Tis my lunxh hour right now, and I'm listening to music and relaxing for the time being, I finally got some sleep last night and although I almost couldn't wake up this morning, I did so all is good, lol. I read your sommennts yesterday and I decided to take your advice, people youre all right, I should just enjoy what good comes my way and ignore the bad. today has been a little better here at work, although it wasnt bad at all to begin with I think they are starting to notice that I'm not a rookie and that I HAVE worked at the library before, so theyre not treating me like a retard anymore. I can't wait to see my first paycheck even though I have to wait two weeks because yesterday was payday for everyone (but I had just started) and we get payed every two weeks, not one. I want to hear about all of you I wish I had the time to visit all your houses, well I might, now that I'm making some decent money I might be able to get that high speed internet, cuz mine is just too slow. OH I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory a few nights ago at the $1.99 movie theatre... it... was...... AWESOME!!!! OMG so much better than the original, lol I was dying of laughter the entire time, when he was like "Good morning starshine, the earth says hello" I dont know why but that tore me apart, and the little kid Mike T.V. he was all hardcore and "DIE DIE DIE!!!!!" I wanted to hug him and call him son lol... ok so I'm a little psychotic... oh no now I sound like Jessica... UGH Being happy is though lol... AleXavier

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Thursday, October 13, 2005

   What is this... this strange... feeling... is it HAPPINESS?

You guys... I thank you all for all the support youve all given me over the years, from the bottom of my heart... I honestly do. I am very confused right now... I dont know what to do or say... everything seems to be going my way... I got a job, I'm at the library again, but this time I'm a clerk... I get payed more, its a full time job and its not a temporary position either... Harrison and I are doing great... my best friends and I are planning on moving out together, and this time were doing it right. I'm even going back to school in a few months... I dont know what to expect from the future but it all looks good... and that scares me because everytime I start to feel like this something bad happens... should I really be happy... am I finally getting a break? Who knows... I'm gonna try to make it a point to post everyday during my lunch break here on MyO, anyway... you guys thanx again... 'till next time... AleXavier

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Thursday, October 6, 2005

Oh my god....

*blows away cobwebs* I... It's been so long... I'm sorry you guys I have no excuse... whats going on with you guys? That is if any of you still remember me. Things have been hell for me... I have no job and I'm fallin into the habit of doing nothing all day. My mom and I dont speak anymore... I am moving out as soon as possible... I had a job interview and I will hopefully be starting some time next week... I really hope so. Things are good besides that my grandmother is hanging in there but they keep finding things wrong with her... but she is amazing the doctors said that she should be dead by now and she has been very close a few times now, she even fell into a coma, but she came out of it. I talked to her the other day and it was all I could do just to keep myself from crying. Oh my father and mother might be getting reconciled... mixed feelings about that one, but I just cant wait until I move out of my house... well I gotta go... I'm really sorry to all of you I have neglected you all and I apologize... 'till next time... AleXavier

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Thursday, September 8, 2005

Hey guys...

Another uneventful day here in my life... I was gonna try to finish my friends' info on the poeple that I missed yesterday but I dont have the strenght, I will do it tomorrow... I feel so shitty... here's a piece of a conversation between me and my friend Joyal: AleXavier R: but he's (Harry) not hes energetic all the time exept when hes with me and I get that he is starting college and that he is trying to enjoy it, but he doesnt even realize that its killing me because he's there and I'm not, he doesnt even notice that even though I'm happy for him I am jealous because he has stress, but its that good kind of stress that come with having responsibilities, I have the stress of not knowing what I'm gonna do tomorrow because I have nothing I have no job, no school, and I'm trying to get my shit together but thats just as hard as starting college it self, you know? He's all I got and I feel like I'm loosing him and he tells me not to worry but I cant help it. I would give anything to be where he is now, doing things, living life, learning... instead I'm at home... I'm even more sleepless than he is, and at least he has stuff to keep his mind occupied and off the stress, I dont I have nothing! I just wish he'd realize that... cuz I always try to look at it from his point of view and I get why he is stressed but I feel like he doesnt take the time to realize how bad I feel about everything and how fucked up I feel because I feel like... well I feel like a fuck up... a failure... and the other day I told him I was proud... and you know what? I have nothing to proud of... nothing at all... only him he's the only reason why I could be proud you know? and I am proud as hell, I just wish he could see that I act the way I do for a reason and not just to annoy the living hell out of him... AleXavier

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Wednesday, September 7, 2005

I'm back...

AleXavier

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