Tuesday, December 14, 2004

   What do you think? Feedback please!
I am not that good at drawing yet and have considered doing tracings in new collage-type arrangements. I may or may not be able to draw freehand after lots of practice that way, but do you think it'd be okay to post it as my own fanart? I don't know the specific rules, I guess. It wouldn't be the exact pictures--just trace a part of this one and a part of that one and put 'em together in new ways. I'm pretty confused about it . . .
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   Huh?
Isn't the html activated for the introduction? I wanted to add another picture . . .
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   I almost forgot!
Wadda you think of my song? It's "Toki O Koeru Omoi" from somewhere in Inuyasha (not sure where). Got it off InuyashaWorld.com!!! The more I listen to it the more I love it!!! (Ah! how do I make it into something I can burn to a CD?! It's all I wanna listen to!!!)
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   *grin* *grin* *grin HUGELY*
(don't ya just *LOVE* anime interjections? Kya! Gaaah! Gyaa! Etc!!!)
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   Kyaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah!!! I've got free Juno access now (only 10 hrs a month but I'll be able to set something else up!) AND a free hotmail address!!! MANY MANY THANKS to my very good friend and lovely clone ElvesAteMyRamen (Lindsey) for referring me to hotmail!!! And a little thanks to my bro for the Juno tip but he's got an ulterior motive--he wants online too. So . . . never mind. Next semester I'll sign up for access through the school so it'll be included in my tuition--which will be paid for! Yay!!! Meaning for *ME* it's Free!!! Bwahahahaha!!!!!

OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to take TWO finals in a little bit!!! KYAAAAAAA I HATE FINALS!!!!!!!!!!!!! (who doesn't?) Oh well.
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   Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Again?!
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Monday, December 13, 2004

   Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!
My AOL free trial thingy wore off!!! Now I have no email it's the end of the world AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!
Ah my phone has no reception I'm spose'ta be waiting for a call catcha later gotta run where there's reception (damn cell phones to hell)
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   Again?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Woooooooow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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   Has anyone noticed my rapid mood swings??? Just look at the icons of the posts I made--all in just the last few minutes . . .
Yeeeeeeeeeeesh
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   Yay!!!!!!!
I finished my psych final!!! I knew almost all the answers!!! Yay!!!!! (Although psych isn't really the one I'm worried about.) At least it's one test closer to BREAK and FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!! (can you say William Wallace anyone?)

Okay I feel like posting something interesting. I'm trying to hang on to my excited mood--I can feel myself slipping down--gotta distract--gotta think of happy things--I get to go to TWO different bookstores today!!!!! My mother and I have to go up to Boulder to get some stuff from my brother and seeing as there's a Barnes and Noble there and there's a Borders in Longmont (between here[Loveland] and Boulder) we get to go to BOTH!!!!!!!!! We coulda gone yesterday but we wouldn't have gotten to the bookstores before they closed--and I guess since finals are making my insane my mother decided we could go today so I could go to the bookstores!!! Yay for my mom!!!!!!!
I'm trying not to be depressed right now but . . . I guess I won't read it after it's up . . . so . . .
here's a poem I wrote, based on a quote by Oscar Wilde ("We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars").

we are all in the gutter,
but some of us are looking up at the stars.
and some of us are drowning in the refuse
and the mud
made of blood
and sweat
and tears
that make the gutter what it is.
we keep staring at the stars
and become increasingly aware
of our diminishing hope
for old heroes riding back
to bring us to the land where we can grasp
the far-off stars and our dreams can come true.
but no matter how far we gaze
or how long we search,
there is nothing to bring us out of our despair.
i had hoped that i could live.
but it is death or living death.
i am in unalleviated anguish
for i can live with neither.
i pine only for real life,
and am locked in an uncharted state wherein i cannot
hide from reality
or find the truth.
there is no one there to lift my head
so i can breathe.
no one will save me.
there are no knights in shining armour.
i will drown alone.

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