myOtaku.com: aliryn

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1985-09-27
Gender
• Female
Location
• . . . any world but ours . . . anywhere but here . . . perhaps somewhere in the middle distance on another planet populated by all the characters from all the different universes that I love so much. oh, wait . . . did you mean *geographically*?
Member Since
• 2004-12-06
Occupation
• ...being an otaku...?
Real Name
• to the abnormal freaks around me who know nothing of my true self I am known as "Elizabeth Anne". my REAL name is Aliryn, of course.

Personal

Achievements
• one published poem
Anime Fan Since
• spring 2004
Favorite Anime
• that's a hard one. I like Case Closed and Trigun and *especially* Fullmetal Alchemist and Inuyasha
Goals
• to do stage theatre and to be good at drawing/painting and to learn Japanese NOW (good luck I have no self-motivation whatsoever) and to go to Japan (don't we all say that though!?)
Hobbies
• reading novels and manga, gaming, movies, anime, all of the previous in the scifi/fantasy genre; crochet, bead (make jewelry), draw&paint (not that good though), trying to get back into practice w/piano/flute, write (scifi/fantasy but mainly poetry)
Talents
• writing. and I'm kinda smart but not *too* smart

myOtaku.com: aliryn

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Fanfic -_-
Sooooooooooo I've been looking around at fanfic on deviantart... and you know, I only got into it cuz I was looking at Inuyasha fanart on deviant and someone had a fanfic tacked to a pic... and it was awfully good... and I thought, maybe there's something to this stuff after all! I had never given it any consideration before, you see. So I've been reading fanfic from there and other places, but only Inuyasha because I'm still in my little Inuyasha-obsessed world though I'm not hyper right now (damn it. I hate being anything but hyper these days. Any other state of mind sucks to me right now). So anyway just after I read that first story I was reminded of this story I'd made up for Inuyasha that'd been rolling around in my head for two months or more and felt inspired to write fanfic for the first time in my life (...HOW when I've been so obsessed with fandom universes since I was BORN!?) and started writing. I liked how it was going...

But as I've been working on it, I'm not so sure it's all that good. Not the writing itself, if I really try I can write circles around the lit profs at my school *ashamed at the pretentious thought, but still starts skipping smugly around the poor befuddled profs* I know there's things I need to fix with the actual writing but I can do that. I do love some of the little individual bits, and I know I can make them come together, but... just the overall plot... and some of the specific elements, too... I'm not so sure it's any good. After reading quite a bit of fanfic today I'm thinking my story is kind of bland and not very interesting and not very original. I still think I can do it well, but what if it's not worth doing?! I'm feeling kinda down... and depressed... and lonely... and inadequate. If you gave me anyone's fanfic plot I can turn it into something AWEsome... but... I have such a hard time with original ideas! Grrrr! That's probably the only reason why I gave up deciding to do writing as a job. I love it. I love taking ideas and making awesome things out of them and I love the little piddling details I have to work out to make the words go right and the imagery provocative and the whole thing work together--but I need somewhere to start! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! Damn!! If I just had half a good idea I could really do something, but... T_T I don't and I never will. Arg. I feel strangely needing encouragement. Arg. Arg. Arg. Arg. Arg. Arg. I wasn't planning on that many Arg.s but they just came out. Ah damn it all. I have to go find something to distract me from this... anyway probably no one will see it. It's already eight here and most people probably checked people's sites before now and since it's still today they can't tell I wrote more.

ARG.

*alternately seethes and cries*
Comments (2)

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