Monday, January 24, 2005

Oh, and one more thing. Thanks, everybody, for comforting and encouraging me. It really gives me hope I've lost over the last few days. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and stuff. You don't know how much it means to me.
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I'm not one to cry easily...I haven't cried since first grade when I broke my arm...but that was a long time ago. But I saw my sister today, and that nearly made me cry, which is really saying something. She was lying there, sleeping, and she looked so sick and pale...Her breathing was irregular...it scared me.

Cranes are harder than they look...I was up the whole night making cranes and I reached only 75...I gotta do them faster...

I'm skipping school now...my sister is way more important...I can always catch up later, anyway. But a few of my classmates drop off homework and cranes at my house. The homework piles up on my desk, undone, and the cranes go to the hospital room. I string them up on the ceiling...my sister likes that.

Oh yeah, and her name is Tamm.
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Sunday, January 23, 2005

I heard something that really made me mad today on the way to visit my sister. Maybe I should start from the beginning? I was adopted by an American family before I was even one. In the family, there was only one boy, four years older than me. My foster mom passed away when I was four, and my foster dad remarried six years later to a Japanese woman. That Japanese woman had a daughter before she was married again (she was a widow) who was the same age as me, and she's the one who has leukemia right now. Sorry if that didn't make sense.

So my dad and mom were driving my brother and me to visit our sister, and both of us had closed our eyes, so they thought we were asleep. They were talking really loudly, so my brother and I could hear what they were saying, and they basically said that they didn't like me at all, and it was my first foster mom's wish to adopt me. She was the only one who really loved me, but she's gone now, and now my sister has leukemia...My brother couldn't believe what we had heard...he feels differently than our parents, and I'm glad, too...

I told my sister this, and she got really upset. I guess she doesn't feel the same, like my brother. My sister's friend is thoughtful. I think it's a Japanese folk tale or belief or tradition or something like that, that making 1000 cranes will bring one wish true? So my sister's friend had the whole class helping her make 1000 cranes, and my sister makes them, too, in her spare time in the hospital. I make as many as I can, too.

When I was accompanying my sister, telling her about my day, and listening to hers, she said, "I wish I had just a little more time. There are so many things I haven't tried yet." When she said that, her face was so wistful. I will never forget that moment. She wasn't sad, but regretful that she didn't do all the things she wanted to, like snowboarding or reading a certain book. A simple wish so hard to fulfill. I feel really sad whenever I visit her...she's so young...
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Saturday, January 22, 2005

Words can't express my grief...my half-sister has leukemia...we found out yesterday...leukemia...this sucks...:'(
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Friday, January 21, 2005

Argh...I'm so sick, I couldn't even breathe in the morning...Stupid people who infected me...
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Thursday, January 20, 2005

Owww...killer headache...stupid fever...I must have gotten it from school cuz almost everyone has a cold or fever...
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   Meh...I'm depressed...It seems like nobody at my school notices me unless they need comfort or help with homework...only that stupid, perverted boy notices me, and I don't want him too. A boy who kept insisting that I was the best (yep, what a loser, ne?) knocked me to the ground and didn't apologize...I don't even think he noticed me...and now my shin hurts cuz I skinned it...My best friends and I are seperated into different classes...Wah...I'm depressed...
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Wednesday, January 19, 2005

   Gah!!! That boy is such an idiot! I totally shouldn't have apologized to him...that just egged him on...that little *beep*ing pervert! Always thinking of stuff he shouldn't be thinking about! And to top it all off, he dropped off a stuffed bear in front of my door! Grr!!!
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Hmmm...well, it seems that I have yet to figure out how to put the quiz results under today. But until then, just scroll down and check them out anyway!
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Grrrr! I can't put up a new avatar...my favorite manga is Shaman King, and I had this awesome picture, but it's not in JPEG form...grrr...

And the cake-slamming-into-that-boy's-face incident had the opposite effect. I wanted him to leave me alone, but now he goes around saying how fiesty I am, and how one day I'll be his...O.o wtf?? Any suggestions as to how to stop him from doing all that are welcomed! Even asking him nicely to leave me alone doesn't work! He's purposely aggravating me. Argh!
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