Sunday, October 16, 2005

Random...
KK, i really dont have time to type up a real post today, because I still have homework to do ^^' So, today you get a random compilation of stuff! (Yay! Random!) Umm, ignore tthat last bit... So, here we go!


The Anime Laws of Physics.
#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive', or when friends and lovers are being killed, but time speeds up whenever there is a big fight.

#3 - First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence, or why the toast always lands butter side down.

#4 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#5 - Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#6 - Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Correlary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#7 - Law of Inexhaustability
No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#8 - Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. And whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

#9 - Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignifigant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

#10 - Law of Antagonistic Americanthropomorphism
The really nasty 'Bad Guys' are always skinny Americans.

#11 - Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: (1) be female; (2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation; (3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#12 - Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

#13 - Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#14 - Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#15 - Law of Ethnic Irrelevance
The overwhelming majority of the attendees of the Japan Club's annual anime marathon will be gawky white guys.


Did you like those? If you did, keep going, if not, keep going anyway!


Odd Instructions On Product Packages

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding - Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron - Do not Iron clothes on body.
On Boots Childrens Cough Medicine - Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol (a sleep aid) - Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife - Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor - Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's Peanuts - Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.


Anyway, kudos to you if you actually read all of that! And if you diddnt... well.... shame on you! you really missed something special! And now, as a conclusion to this very ramdom day, a (few) FMA quote(s)!

Roy: Dog, huh, I love dogs!
Recruit: Really? You do?
Roy: They're the loyal servants of men! You can be mean to them and they never once ask for a paycheck!

Roy Mustang: You can call me Roy Mustang. Or just Lieutenant Colonel. Hell, you can call me the Flame Alchemist. Whatever you do… remember the pain.

Roy Mustang: Maes Hughes - Killed in Action, and promoted two ranks for it. Brigadier General Hughes. You were supposed to work under me, help to push me to the top. Now here you are surpassing me in the ranks. I don't know what's more absurd - you or the State.

Roy Mustang: [stops in the hall and strikes a pose] That day all female officers will be required to wear tiny miniskirts!
Jean Havoc: [falls to his knees with a nosebleed and rubs his face on Mustang's leg] You're a miracle, Mustang! I'll follow you forever!
Roy Mustang: Yes.

Well, thanx for readin'! Buh-Bye!~
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