Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Actual stuff said in court
Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to say in your defense?
Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?

Q. : Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A. : I will be three months November 8th.
Q. : Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A. : Yes.
Q. : What were you and your husband doing at that time?

Q. : Were you acquainted with the defendant?
A. : Yes, sir.
Q. : Before or after he died?

Q. : How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q. : Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A. : All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

Q. : Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A. : The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
Q. : And was Mr. Dennington dead at the time?
A. : No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q. : Did he pick the dog up by the ears ?
A. : No.
Q. : What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A. : Picking them up in the air. Q. : Where was the dog at this time?
A. : Attached to the ears.

Q. : ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A. : The victim lived.

Q. : When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station ?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

Well, if you thought those were funny, check out my last post! (look down) I hope y'all had a good day! Goodnight!
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