Tuesday, September 7, 2004

The first time I had a sample of your love, in such a tiny package, it made me want more. I was satisfied with just a kiss and that is all I wanted once a day, a kiss from you. The first time I felt your soft lips touch mine. I was shocked I did not know who did what, if I started it or if you did. After that moment was over I excused myself from the room and walked into the bathroom shaking tremendously. I wasn't scared, I was just a little uncertain. It isn't as if I didn't want to, I just didn't know why I did it... I wanted to know why I kissed you or you kissed me. My breathing was shakey and I didn't know how to breath. I started splashing cold water on my face to wake up from this trance.
I finally regained my normal behavior, still shaking a bit, and walked out to see you once again. I slowly walked toward you and wanted that feeling again, shaking with happiness, I needed your kiss again, and again. My eyes stayed locked on yours. I started to feel fear once more... the fear of loosing you in anyway. I only knew three words now, 'I love you' and those were the only things I could say to you.
In reality I wanted to say 'I don't want to leave you, you are everything I want and I really need to be with you so much, I need you and I don't want you hurt.' but... I couldn't. The fact of the matter is... I love you more then life itself. I would give anything to make your past the one you want. I want you to have the perfect past, present, and future... but you will always have the past that we don't want. Remember you have the past you don't want but the future is yours to make. I wish I could have told you that...
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As I look up into the night sky and see all the stars. I only think of you, you are the one I love, and I will never forget you. I will always need you and I can see you wherever I go. I love being with you, holding you in my arms. The only thing I need in this world is you. To hear your voice, to see your face, to smell your scent. I need it all. I can see you in the flowers, I can see you in the sparkling ocean. I can see you everywhere I go. I need you more then I need life itself. I really need to be with you... I am sorry for the trouble I caused in the past and I cannot make up for it but.... just know that I love you and will always love you. I have messed up before but I will try not to in the future. If I never come back... please forgive me.
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Thoughts rush through my head every day. "Why do you live?","Why are you still friends with people?", "How can I stop them from being my friends." I just wish I could make the thoughts dissapear. I live with myself everyday knowing I hurt people and make them cry or turn into an enraged beast who craves for my blood. Their eyes turn crimson red as they start thinking of ways to kill me and take out my soul. The only way I can make up with them is to say I am sorry... but those words have never escaped my lips... I have never been sorry for anything.
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Sunday, September 5, 2004

Since the first time I saw you I could not quit thinking about you. I could only imagine spending my whole life getting to know you and only you. I want to get to know you so I can fall in love with you. I have longed to be in love once more and you know all about me. I know only a little bit about you and I will always strive to learn more. I feel an odd warmth in my heart when I see you. My lips long to touch yours, just so gently when I think of kissing you my heart beats faster then it has ever done before. I wake up and smile because I imagine you are beside me but then I open up my eyes and realize that you are not. I slowly become cold, distant, and my smile fades, as I sink into a time of depression. I call you to hear your voice, it makes me happy, my sadness becomes happiness when I see and hear you.
I will always long for you in many ways and I always feel a bit of love when I say your name. I hear your name everywhere and I look around for you but I cannot see you. I am happy for the brief moment I hear your name, and when I imagine you near me. I would give my heart for you, if it made you live... I would love to see you for that last minute of my life. You are the only one I care for now. And you will be the only one I will care for, for the rest of my life. I have dreams of you, and I cannot get you out of my head. The dreams take place under the moon, and you cannot imagine how beautiful you look, how radiant you are. I see you under the moon and just love watching you run your hand through your black hair. It looks almost platinum in the moonlight as I see your beautiful body bask under the full moon. I can only say three words but speaking them would either end our friendship or turn it into a relationship. I did not want to risk it but I couldn't help it. I love you, I will always love you and I cannot stop loving you. I cannot help but tell you how much I care for you and want to be with you. I will always love you, you are always there for me and you will always be my friend and I can only hope that you could return my love.
You said you would have to think about it. And when I woke up I was saddened. I called you first thing and confessed my love for you, but alas it was the same, you had to think for a while. I waited for hours, which felt like years. When you finally called I could only feel hurt, I thought you would say you could not love me but you finally returned my feelings. I almost passed out, I wanted to tell you over and over how much I loved you, and wanted to be with you but I could not speak.

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Hello everyone
Sorry For being gone for so long Everyone.I've been doing more constructive things than I thought I would've ever done.

I've started practicing Guitar and I've been brushing up on my drawing skills along with photoshop skills.

I finally got me a job at Hot Topic ^_^.
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Tuesday, August 3, 2004

theOtaku.com: What Spirited Away Character Are You?
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Monday, July 26, 2004

New Quiz


theOtaku.com: What Soul Calibur 2 Character Are You?
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Sunday, July 25, 2004

Im Back ^_^
Camping was fun. We left after 6 AM Friday for about a 3 hour drive to the camp site at Harrison Bay State Park. It was nice. Nikorasu and I set up our tent and Nikorasus' parent's tent. We then went white water rafting on the Occoee river. It was awesome. Right when we started, another raft flipped and people fell out. Nikorasu and I helped pull them into our raft until the other one was flipped back over. We saved people. Cool. After that, we went home and ate hamburgers. We went to sleep. We shared an air mattress, which was bigger and better than Nikorasu's parents' air mattress.

Saturday. We went down the Hiwassee river. It was longer. We were in these things called Torrents, which were just kayake's with a seat on top of the Torrent instead of inside. It was awesome. We each had our own Torent. I got stuck a few times, and Nikorasu flipped over 1 time. We also helped someone out who flipped over. It was really fun. We then went back to the camp site to eat Dinner(steak). Then, a park ranger came over because the radio was too loud(it wasn't really loud at all). My stepmom came over with a beer, and those aren't aloud. The ranger went through some coolers and emptied the beers in them. Nikorasu and I laughed. It was funny. We then went to sleep.

Today we Packed up and left to Nikorasu's house. When we got back the Nikorasy's house, we had to unpack everything.I called my dad after that to pick me up from Nikorasu's house and I'm here now posting this.

that was pretty much the whole trip summed up into small paragraphs.

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Thursday, July 22, 2004

Cool ^_^.

Take the Spirit Quiz and visit Castle Diqueria.

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