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"Poor baby," said mother.
"He's depressed," said Father. "Dont make fun of him."
"I cant help but think of what Ender went through, fighting the Formics almost every day for weeks, completely exhausted, and yet he always got up and fought again."
Peter wanted to scream at her. How dare she compare what he had jusst gone through with Ender's legendary "suffering." Ender never lost a battle, did she think of that? And he had just lost the war! He was entitled to sleep!
"Ready? One, two, three."
Peter felt the whole mattress slide down the bed until he was awkwardly dumped onto the floor, banging his head against the frame of the bedsprings.
"Ow!" he cried
Wouldnt that make a noble last word to be recored by posterity?
How the great Peter Wiggin, Hegemon of earth (and of course, brother of Ender Wiggin, sainted savior), meet his end?
He sustained a terrible head injury when his parents draggied him out of a hotel bed the morning after his ignominious escape from his own compound where not one person had treatened him in any way and he had no evidence of any impendingthreat against his person.
ANd what were his last words?
A one-word sentence, fit to be engraved on his monument. Ow.
"I dont think we can get him into the shower without touching his sacred person," said Mother.
"i think youre right," said Father
"And if we touch him," said Mother, "theres a real possibility we will be struck dead on the spot."
Other people had mothers who were compassionate, tender, comforting, understanding. His mother was a sarcastic hag who clearly hated him and always had.
"Ice bucket," said Father.
"NO ice."
"But it holds water>"
This was too stupid. The old throw-water-on-the-sleeping-teenager trick.
"Jus go away, I'm getting up in a couple of minutes."
"No," said Mother, "Youre getting up now. Your father is filling the ice bucket, You can hear the water running."
"OK, OK, leave ther room so i can take my clothes off and get in the shower. Or is this just a subterfuge so you can see me naked again? Yourve never let me forget how you used to change my diapers, so apparently that was a very important stage in your life."
He was answered by having water dashed in his face. Not a whole bucketful, but enough to soak his head and shoulders.
"Sorry I didnt have time to fill it," said Father. :But when you started making crude sexual immuendos to my wife, I had to use whatever amound of water was at hand to shut you up before you said enough that I would have to beat your bratty little face in."
Peter got up from the mattress on the floor and pulled off the shorts he slept in. "Is this what you came to see?"
"Absolutely,' said Father. "You were wrong, Theresa: he does have balls.
"Not enough of them, apparently."
Peter stalked between the two of them and slammed the bathroom door behind him.
The only thing worse, in Beans view, was to use the first restoom in the airline terminal. "Everybody knows women have to pee incessantly," said Bean
"Actually, it not incessant, and most men dont notice if it is," said Petra/ But considering that Bean seemed never to need to pee at all, she supposed her normal human needs seemed excessive to him.
"You'll have to walk through my room in order to get to the bathroom," said Peter.
"Thats right," said Father. "I know youre Hegemon and should have the best room, but then, wer not likely to walk in on you making love."
"Dont count on it," said Peter sourly.
"We'll open the door just a little and say 'knock knock' before we come through," said Mother. "It'll give you time to smuggle your best pal out of sight."
It made him faintly nauseated to be having this discussion with his parents."
"Do you rhink," said mother, "that when we get back hto Earth we can find a place with little tiny bes like these?" She clung tightly to Fathers arms. "Its made us so much closer as a family."
"You were small-force tactics, if i remember," said Graff.
"And when you tried that experiment with military music-having the boys learn to sing together-"
Graff groaned. "Please. Dont remind me. What a deeply stupid idea that was."
more quotes funny quotes lol goin to work the concession stand tonight and dis weekend im goin to lubbock SO SAD i probably wont see any of my fwends but oh well not like they care
wuv evehbody
hugs and kisses yall
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