Sunday, August 7, 2005

   Well...
WELL! Now that I'm in a rather spiffy mood, I'll tell everyone I'm leaving Sunday until Friday afternoon to my Aunt's house. She's pretty much my haven away from home during the summer, and she has the good internet so I can check my mail and post whatever random stuff I did that day whenever I want. It's pretty cool! ^^

Let's see... Today I went shopping. Amazingly enough, today was one of those days my family got along with one another, but I learned a while ago my Granny has cancer in her brain, so that worries me. I suppose I overreacted about her in my long rant... Sometimes she does play favorites, but she's a really nice woman. Truth be told, I don't think she's adapting to the 21st century as well as most do. *shrugs* We sat down at her house today while I was helping weed her yard (Again) and she mentioned her will. My god that woman is giving me things I don't even deserve. She's giving me her -not even a year old- car, a mink coat (Even though I'm against real fur, but it's too late now ><), and some other stuff she showed me, which just made me go numb. DANG. I told her if I don't get a scholarship the money I inherit will go to good use for schooling. She seemed pleased with that. We were also discussing the manner in which my Aunt's (my mom's sister, not the one I'm visiting for a week, BLEH) good for nothing, idiotic, and plain old stupid husband will NOT inherit anything if it so happens my aunt dies right after my Granny. Believe me, it's almost like a race between those two. My aunt is far overweight, and she's in horrible health. Don't bother with pity or anything on that, she hates me because I like her ex-husband more than her. And I'm not afraid to admit that. Him and his new wife are kick ass...

ANYWAY, enough of that. Thought I'd share a few pictures before I left for the week... Even though I wasn't thinking about posting them but SOMEONE'S BEEN A BAD FANBOY! Damnit Darian... >< He's urking me now. Hasn't been online in over a week, I'm afraid the poor kid's got something wrong with him again. Last time this happened, it was food poisoning, which was a week. Before that, it was a 6 month freak-out-fest because something was messed up on his computer. I hope everything's okay. I hate it when I can't know... Oh well, at least you all will see the random stuff I draw for him before he even knows about it... Tee hee! ^^

Enjoy, I'll post in my journal Monday, or Sunday with the stuff I've done. Oh, and if I ever mention making a fuzzy fake-fur bracelet, someone smack me first. They're such a bitch to make, I almost broke my mom's sewing machine because the thread was shit. My mom agrees with that too... The thread's older than my Granny.

Logan, I'll be drawing your stuff while I'm away. Well, more aptly put at about 9:30 until Midnight every night while listening to music. I'll dedicate my week to drawing you stuff because you're my 2nd biggest fanboy I've ever had. YOU ROCK. ^__^ I do have quite a few, so you're high on the list! *shakes finger* Be Proud! And you do have me as a fangirl. Do remind me to comment on your new art, I think I'll forget while I'm lost in my art-meditation. No, I WILL forget. I know it. I'm weird like that.

On to different things. I thought I'd post a few random things I've drawn on paint and stuff on here since they'd do HORRIBLE if I submitted them. Bleh... None of them are aimed towards anyone out there, it's just random stuff where I got my thoughts down.


That would be something I drew on a 'Yahoo Paint-Chat' thing with my friend Travis. He's a pimp rper. ^__^ And, it's of ME! ^^ Can someone say a little self-obsessed? ^^; Heehee...

THAT, my friends, is the full picture of the 'band' my two friends Adara and Brandon made up with me one day. Well, it was more Adara and I. Brandon's like our brother. We love him, but we wouldn't date him. AND, before you get all weird, his shirt says HAT, not hot... The font messed it up. Her sunglasses were a bitch to do too. Remind me not to do that. It was hell.

This was my VERY first ever paint-program picture. You can tell I've gotten better since this, but they're so adorable... You so know Youko's going to drag Ami-Chan away somewhere. *winkwink*

This one was done by my WONDERFUL friend Shannon. I luff her... ^^ She inspired me into doing paint-art and I told her if she ever quit, I would too. She's my muse, man! I neeeeed her.


And all those were a spur of the moment-I was bored-lets use some bases- project. For the life of me, I can't remember where I got ANY of the bases I used, but I love these! ^^

That giant thing is a comic I made for Darian for his birthday ON PAINT PROGRAM... Ugh... >< Took all Sunday, but it was worth it. Made 'im happy... And I'm plotting in the proccess with new comics for him. IF HE EVER GETS ON! *spazz*

And, I believe, my friends, I'm done... I don't think I want to bore you TOO much with this post. ^^; But, it's better than a long-SAD-post, isn't it!? Whee!

Write later, for sure!
~Ami-Chan

P.S. I reposted my -Prayer Ring- banner again... My photobucket was being a bitch. ^^ And, sorry again for the REALLY long and huge post... Entertained your boredom for a while though, didn't I? ^^ LOVE ME! ~egotism~
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Thursday, August 4, 2005

   Aaah!
Thank you guys SO much for all your support, really. You have NO clue how much it means to me that there are people listening. Even if it was one rather long rant. ^^;

To tell you the truth, I'm feeling pretty darn good now. Right now, I'm going to be posting Logan's birthday stuff, one of which features me... ^^ And, just to SHOW you I'm doing a bit better, I'll show you guys... ME! ^__^

Look happy? Well, at least I am for now. I've decided to deal with my parents in a different way. Instead of putting up with it, I'm just going to stick it out in my room. Hey, it's a lot better'n it seems. I love it in there, so it's my sanctuary. And, once school gets rolling again in Portland, I'll be extremely happy. School is practically my home! ^__^ Yay!
Love me! Thank you all so much, AGAIN. And, Logan, check your pms and get your booty over to look at your presents! Oh, there might be more coming too, just thought I'd tell you. ^^

Lots of LOVE! ^^
~Sadie (Aren't I adorable when I smile? XD)
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Wednesday, August 3, 2005

My god, I wish they'd die already...
My parents are goddamn stiffs that won't let me do anything I would like to do. They always answer no before I even get the chance to ask, because they know what I want. Is it too much to ask to get online to talk to my friends? To post my art online so other people can see and comment on my work? It's what drives me to keep going. Without those people, I feel like I'm a thought. There for one second, and gone the next. As if I never really existed. Is it too much to ask for some recognition? Some respect from my parents? It must be. They don't trust me at all. They won't even let me go outside on the front porch if no one is home, or if my mom is asleep. I had to post my art in secret online because I knew my mom wouldn't let me from the beginning.
It hurts to know that they don't even like it anyway. My mom hates my artwork (as she calls is 'jap-crap'), and my dad's not even interested; the only thing he's interested in is my writing, but what I write, he wouldn't like anyway. One of these days, I'm just going to move out. Unannounced, and I'm not telling them where to. When, in fact, I'll hopefully be able to move into my fanboy's house. That is, if we're still friends and he'll let me. Who knows by then... Maybe I won't even be drawing anymore, maybe I'll just be another worker in the world, or maybe... I just won't be here at all. Sometimes that's how I feel. Invisible. Half the time no one notices me anyway. Take Monday for example. The whole family was home except for my dad, and when he got home, we were all sitting on the couch in the family room, and he goes to kiss my mom, says hello to my sister... And then leaves to change without so much as a hello to me. Half the time, my sister comes home and doesn't even aknowledge my presence, even when I'm standing in front of her.
I must say, my mom's the worst. She didn't even care that I got into the student art show in my Freshman year. I didn't even get to go see it up with everyone elses stuff. No one would take me. The day I finally broke down about it, I was at my cousin's house two days before his wedding. I went down into his basement where no one was and cried until we left the party... Five hours later. That's right, no one even noticed I was gone. Well, my cousin-in-law's best friend Becky noticed. She and my cousin Sara are the only ones who really pay attention to me at all in this family. My grandma plays favorites and loves the older children like my sister and cousins more than me. The only thing she wants me around for is so that I'll go fetch for her. She tries to buy my love with money. Truth be told, sometimes, all I want is to hug someone who cares.
Another thing, my room is right next to my parents. One night last summer I woke up screaming bloody-murder in pain. For what, I don't know. It was some sharp pain in my side and I felt like I had been stabbed or something, but I wasn't. The sad thing is, no one even woke up. I could've died that night and no one would have noticed until the next morning... Maybe not even until the next night. That kind of thought scares me. What if I did die? I'd be letting all the people I promised things to down. I'd be letting down Kevin, and we'd never meet. I'd be letting down Darian, and I'll never get to meet him and see him smile at something I drew for him. I'd be letting Austin down... For just being stupid and dying. And I'd be letting all my friends at home down. My friends are the closest thing I have to family anymore. Online or at home. They love what I do, which makes me feel important. Sure, some of them are better at drawing than I am, but I realized it's just because they have a different style than I do.
My dad's also an alcoholic... And he won't admit to it. That makes things worse at night. When he gets home, the first thing he heads for after he's done getting dressed into his comfy clothes, is the booze. Sure, a drink of wine is okay, but when he gets out a whole bottle every night, or when he downs half a bottle of Gin and Tonic, it gets to me. He scares me so much when he does that, I don't even eat dinner. I go into my room and hide. That's when I do most of my drawing actually. Late at night, when everyone's asleep, I'll go into the kitchen and get something to tie me over for the night. The last time I was around when my dad was really drunk, he actually chased me around, yelling at me, for some stupid thing. The stupid thing you ask...? Leaving an empty can of dog food on the kitchen counter because he was in the way of the garbage can under the sink. I was scared to death. That, and my mom scares me too. She spanks me. She yells at me. There are times when I just move my whole room around so I can hide in cleverly hidden nooks. Most of the time, it's on the other side of my bed when it's not pushed against a wall, and sometimes it's in my closet.
I know a lot of this seems like nothing but a mindless rant, but the truth is... I just want away. To go somewhere that the least I can get when I'm sad is a hug. You see, right now, as I'm typing this, I'm crying. It's not like I can go and get a hug from anyone at 11:11 pm when everyone is at work or asleep. When this happens, all I do is cry and keep it bottled up, so the next time it happens, it's worse, and I keep it inside too. So, sorry if I wasted your time by writing this. I just needed to place it somewhere out of my head and away from my parents, and this happened to be a place. I'm sure I'll put it one more place too, but maybe I'll just stop. I don't know. I just need to go for a while...
~Sadie

Sorry about having a rant the same night scan your birthday stuff Logan, even if I can't post it yet, I'm getting kicked off by them... I'm really sorry. The only thing that even made me smile today was drawing them and thinking about how happy you'll be when I post them.
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

   Yay!
Horray, I'm in a semi-good mood! XD
People like the picture I posted of myself, which I think I made myself waaaaaay cuter than I really am. But, hey, that's alright with me. ^^
I don't know if I'll be able to post anything more this week since I'll be gone Wednesday-Thursday, and Thursday night is my last night online for the week until Sunday or so when I get back from the beach. Hopefully I'll have more stuff posted by then! ^^ Yay!

Let's see... I got a new cd, which I love and reccomend to you called Silverchair-Neon Ballroom. It's from 1999, but I'm hopelessly addicted to it like I am starbucks. Now, you can't blame me for THAT... Blame my mom.

Oh well, I'd better go reply to all the e-mails I've gotten now. >< Shesh... Five every 10 minutes is extreme!

Toodloo! (Love Meee!)
~Ami-Chan
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

   Oookay...
Well, I posted even newer stuff! And, I posted the picture I said I'd draw for Logan. YAY LOGAN. I had fun drawing that dragon for you. Any time you have a request, as well as anyone else on theotaku, you're more than welcome to ask. ^^
I'm kinda tired, and a little upset. My granny just got out of the hospital a few days ago, and now my aunt is in due to a blood-clot in her brain. I think she's going to die since they can't remove the whole thing. It's just really nerve-wrecking. I've had a rough weekend and now my week is turing rough. Last Friday I spent a grand total of 14 hours (in the dead of heat as well) weeding my granny's lawn and backyard. Her lawn-service sucked so bad. And, within my good-deed, I got a sunburn on my butt. Can things get any worse?!
Oh well, I think I'm just going to go mope for a little bit. I don't think too much stress is good for me. And I'd nearly kill for some tea.

Wishing everyone else a wonderful week/weekend,
~Ami-Chan
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Monday, July 18, 2005

   Hello agaaaain!
Yesh, I posted even MORE STUFF! So, here's the dealio...
I won't post stuff everyday, but I WILL post stuff at random times and there should be more than just one to make up for my slack. Thank goodness everyone on theotaku and everyone I know off theotaku drives me to draw. I'd be lost without it and you guys! Especially Logaaaan. *waves* Thank you for your uplifting pm and comments like always. Everyone else, including Demon_Fangirl (OF COURSE), DARIAN MY NUMBER ONE FAN, ifrent (one of my best friends from school, hey home-G), redheaddragon88 (whom I love their sketch of Gojyo...), evanescence3000, and everyone else! YOU GUYS ROCK WITH MAD SKILLS! Each and every one of you inspire me in a different way. Even Logan's morbid little death pictures...
You morbid thing, you.
Anyway, hope you like the new posts, I'm looking forward to a lot more. INSPIIIRE MEEE! *still chases Logan for creativeness* GET BACK HEEEERE! ><

~Ami-Chan
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Thursday, July 14, 2005

   BY the way...
I FORGOT TO POST WHERE I GOT THE BASE FOR MY FRICKIN' AWESOME TRADING CARD! http://carosio.altervista.org/PXL/

That's for the body, of course. And I'll post the others soon. *swats self* how could I forget to post something as important as that?! AGH!
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

   Hello Everyone!
Hello, hello! I'm so sorry I've been neglecting theotaku! *bows* It's PARTIALLY my fault... Even though I STILL don't have internet on my computer, I still get online on my mother's, and I just don't sit there and post stuff anymore. SORRY!
Aaaah!
Anyway, you SHOULD, if you are a loyal enough friend and reads this to know, be glad to know that I will periodically- more than before- be posting new art on theotaku just like old times.
*Sighs* I HOPE I STILL HAVE FRIIIEEEEEENDS! Aaaaah! >< FORGIVE ME FOR MY NEGLECT! FORGIVE MEEEEE! ><
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Thursday, February 17, 2005

   AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AGAIN!!!
%@()#%_(@*$#&%_(@$*% BAAAAH! He still hasn't gotten my computer back! IT'S MINE! *curses for 5 more minutes* Mom got a new computer for her and my dad, I technically can't use it but low and behold... I AM! Mahahaha... Just for a bit though. I'm on to just tell you I'm fine. No alien abductions or random things like that. I'm sitting here, cold, and about ready to go to bed. Be back as soon as I can! MISS YOU GUUUYS! T__T
~Ami
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Monday, February 7, 2005

   AAAAAAAAAAAAAH
I'm sorry everyone, but I haven't been on only because my computer is gettting fixed. This is just a check up and I'm telling you that I haven't left or anything, so don't worry. ^_^; I should have TONS of stuff to post when I get my computer back and all hooked up. I just have to gouge my sister's face off and slip it through the shredder to do it. ^_^ Horray! Sorry for all the quietness, it's rather sad. I'll talk more when I have more time!
I LOVE YOU ALL! *mumbles 'spoiled brats'*

^_^;~Ami
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