Thursday, November 3, 2005

   Eh...
Well, I don't even know who's looking here anymore, and I don't know why you bother. I think I'm going to be on a... Break for a while. Probably a long while, I don't know yet. So much has been going on, I don't know if I can cope with it all and the pressure of checking up with all the little things I normally do because it's not comforting anymore...

For one, my friend is having a miserable time with a different friend because he keeps pissing her off... Two, one of my friends is playing the 'pity' card and it's PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF. Three, I gave a lot of my spare time, heart, risked my ass, and helped him through bad times, hoping he would get the clue I wanted to ask him out... And he goes and gets a girlfriend. I don't think I ever want to fall in love again, it hurts.

And now... I wanted someone to stay over tonight because I felt like trash, and the person I wanted to come over couldn't because his mom's a rancid BITCH. So, I invited one of my other friends, and told my mom she was asking her parents, and then my mom's all urked about it because she didn't think anyone was coming anymore... So... I called my friend back, told her she couldn't come as nicely as I could, and my mom thought she was still coming over! I told mum that I was upset no one could come and then she pulled the "We're horrible parents" card on me and I feel guilty! I NEVER SAID THEY WERE HORRIBLE! I said I was disappointed no one could come, that's all. All I wanted was someone here so I could just... Be friends with. Hug... Laugh... Y'know. Friend stuff.

SO... Now I'm drawing crap all over my tablet and it's nothing spiffy. I don't have anything to transfer to this computer still because I'm currently cleaning all the stuff out of it that I put in it. Mum's getting mad.

Sorry for putting this all out on you, it's not all your fault. Well, it's mostly not all your fault. There's very little that has to do with you guys. Daily stress of my life is driving me insane, and I don't know what to do anymore. It builds up to the point where I can't even talk to anyone and I just go in my room... And cry.

For the second time in my life I feel helpless. *shakes head* I think I'm going to go mope for a while on Gaiaonline. I have someone on there who's helping me with a little bit of my problems.

And one last thing... Don't you DARE go off on how I should feel. The LAST thing I want to hear is a rant about my rant and how y'all think I should feel. You don't know me enough to tell me how I should feel, you don't understand, and no one's going to change my mind about life. I know it's not all honky-dory, and things will get better, it's just now is not my time. I understand if you're just concerned, and I'm all up for some advice, but not shit that's going to make me hate you or feel worse, because it's happened. And I hate y'all who did it.

No, Logan, JD, Dar, Cassie, and few others... It's not your fault. In fact, you help. IT'S THE PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW AND DON'T KNOW ME!! *points accusingly*

The ever-stressed and distraught Kitsune,

~Ami-Chan
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