Wednesday, March 8, 2006

life really does suck...
y'know, today started out ok, but it wasn't. she didn't even come to school today. The girl I'm talkin to didn't even come to school... yesterday either... matter of fact, haven't seen he since saturday... anyway, life sucks now cuz knowin me I prolly did somethin worng... I never wanted to hurt her... never that... and so today after work I had to type a 1500 word essay on somthin or other (I BSed my way through it) and decided to surf the web a little. it turns out i'm lonlier now than before... GOD THIS BITES!!! and to top it all off I don;t even have any anti-depresants... how depressing...

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Sunday, February 19, 2006

hey all! long time no see
's been a long time since I've been here.... been a long time since I've been online for that matter... but I'm back (not sure for how long this time). so, what 'cha all been up to lately? me?! oh I just found this wonderful little invention they call caffine... and let me tell you...... uh.... what was I sayin? neway, so sleep is now a thing of the past... that's right, I'll sleep when I'm dead (which may be sooner than anyone expects)!!!

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Thursday, November 3, 2005

sorry people... no poems today. but I figured I'd leave you with an overview of my life... IT SUCKS!!! I write poems like that to make me feel beter about the way things are. I do really think things like this every day. my life's a bitch... but it would be easier if I weren't all alone in this big crazy world. depression makes me feel good as well, only because it's something that I do when I'm all alone... I sit and wonder why I'm still breathing... why the pain won't go away... why people have to be so cold and unaffectionate in this the society that says the word 'love' every chance we get. If we 'love' everyone so much, then why can't it be spread around? anyway... the point is I'll be fine. don't worry too much about me. I'm not gonna let the scars on my wrists multiply any faster than they already have... (for now)
peac4now

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oh, and fyi for everybody, I, amogoi, have personally known, been friends with, and lived less than a block away from, aodtr666 for all my 17 years... so when I say I 'killed' him, or tend to write like him... it's cause I know all I know because of him. If you read this aodtr666, major props to you... you were my inspiration to get in touch with my artistic side... and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart(which happens to be at the bottom of a dupmster, on it's way to the bottom of a trash heap, all because oneday someone ripped it out and chucked it there).
well, guess this is the real...

peac4now

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Saturday, October 29, 2005

NEW POEMS!!!!
As if you couldn't tell, I added a shit house of new poems... just some stuff I wrote during my break from posting, and I thought I'd add them... all at once... comment if you want, or don't. it makes no difference. I'll have some new ones comin through the pipes real soon though, so keep watchin my site.

peac4now

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Visions of Demons
From the poem series HALUCINATIONS

I saw them again...
Last night in my sleep...
The ones who hunt me...
Wish me gone...
Dead...
Would harm those I love for sake of harming me...
My demons.
I saw them entirely...
Save only their faces...
Cloaked by dark of shadow...
Though I did not recognize them,
I fear I know them...
Better than I should, in fact...
As if they were my friends.
But that’s impossible...
My friends wouldn’t harm me...

Would they?

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Thinking Things
From the poem series HALUCINATIONS

Straining to see the room, but it’s spinning...
Spiraling out of control...
Blinking doesn’t seem to help...
My head is swimming in a sea of lies...
Eyes roll into the back of my head...
Things go black... numb...
That was last night... I think.
It’s morning now.
A splitting headache...
Body throbbing with pain...
Vomiting off and on...
Suicidal thoughts, but that one’s a usual visitor in my head...
Cotton mouth syndrome...

Not sure, but I think I might be dying...
Was gonna anyway, what with the trigger an’ all...
Oh well... guess my demons beat me to it...

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The Angel Of Death

There it is again
the rain...
It left for a while...
left me alone...
at peace...
it’s back again.
But different this time...
Colder...
Freezing...
to the bone...
chilling...
to the very soul
it makes me want to hide...
get away from it all again...
just like last time...
but I know...
this time is different.
This time, it warns me
Of the coming of him
The one who brings endless pain
Deafening silence
Yes, it warns me of the coming of...
The Angel Of Death

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Would You Miss Me?

If I died tomorrow...
Would you be sad?
If my life ended today...
Would you care?
If you never saw me again...
Would you miss me?
Then why don’t you seem to care about me now?

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Lethal Dose

Sweat beads up all over...
My body aches and throbs...
Suddenly the room is spinning...
The walls are closing in...
I strain to see my reflection,
But the bathroom goes black.

A white light in front of me...
So warm...
So inviting...
So comforting...
But it’s running away from me

My eyes open to find the floor
An empty pill bottle
A few spilled out next to me

Must not have been a lethal dose after all...

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