Saturday, July 23, 2005

a new installment of WANDERER
She's the one for me...
from the poem series WANDERER
poem #2

as I walk along the path, it soon turned to forest
a dark, forsaken forest
the leaves had long since left
the trees were dead

up ahead I could see a clearing
it seemed to glow brightly
brighter than the light of the sun
and I heard a voice...

the most beautiful voice I have ever heard...

as I crept closer, I noticed many animals...
deer, rabbits, even songbirds all gathered in a hush around her...
and there she was...

the most beautiful women I had ever seen...
and just as if it were all a dream
she vanished before my eyes...

I searched the forest, leaving no stone unturned, but found nothing.

Now only a memory of her beautiful voice lingers on...

And so, I continue onward on this path...

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

   about the 'lindsey memorial' at the top of my page...
just to clear things up a little bit... I didn't know lindsey... although it seems she was a nice person. I would have loved to meet her, get to know her... but knowing what I just said, let me now explain why the banner is there. I have been friends with aodtr666 since we were about 5... I suport him in his memorial completely... in fact, I support him so much that I would go as far as to put up a banner in her honor on my site... even though I did NOT know, I miss her for aodtr666's sake, and for the sake of the rest of you oout there who miss her as well.... the truth is, I'm just a big softy when it comes to anything dealing with emotions.... and why that is is for another day... or never. well peac4now....

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Rebirth of a Wanderer...
from the poem series WANDERER
#1 of many...

I remember it like it was yesterday...
I see it all too clearly
except the face of the man holding the gun
whose trigger gave to me my death

I remember the odor of the burning tapestries, wallpapers, carpets...
the unique stench of melting flesh, like that of nothing I've ever smelled before...

I was not dead yet
his bullet only pierced my shoulder
and so I layed there while he proceeded to torch the house

I remember the red-orange glow of the flames as they danced around my head...

and then, like the drenching downpour from a tropical rainstorm, the pain was gone
there was no more hunger... no more thirst...
and there was a bright white light... so inviting...

I had never seen a light quite like this one before...
I had to chase it... just this once...

the more I ran, the farther it seemed to get...
until suddenly, a if I had fallen from the very thin path that I had been cahsing the light on, the immense burning sensation came over me again
but the flames had long since subsided...

and I rose from the ashes of defeat...
vowing to seek vengance upon the one who did this to me

and so I walked along a winding, dusty raod... scars still burning
until almost as suddenly as I had reclaimed my body, it began to rain

instantly realizing that I wouldn't soon see that light again, I told myself that this rain would not heal, rather fool me into thinking so...


and I continued on...
scars burning, as is anger
eager to find the one responsible for all my pain....

To be continued...

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Monday, July 18, 2005

Hearing Things
From the poem series HALUCINATIONS

the rain is in my head now
I hear it all the time, day and night
no matter where I am or what I do
I can't seem to make it go away, no matter how hard I try
it's the worst kind of punishment that I've ever seen
to hear the rain that you know will bring you peace
and to look out your window for it
only to find that it isn't there...
it probably isn't even real...

I must be hearin' things again...

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Sunday, July 17, 2005

thinking back while sitting in church, I've realized that childhood holds it own set of ups and downs, refreshments and let-downs. one of mine was those mail-order sea monkeys... they never seamed to move in my jars... ever.... another was the old scrubbing bubbles appearance... they really arent bubbles that zoom around your tub like it's the indy 500..... they just kinda..... oooz down the side.... I was sad that they didn't have the smiley's either. How about you, what kinds of dissapointments were there for you as a child??

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Saturday, July 16, 2005

WELCOME NEWCOMERS AND NEW FRIENDS ALIKE!!!
I'd like to welcome you all to my site... small and unsightly as it is, it is mine. I'd like to ask you kindly to sign my guestbook and add me as a friend before you leave, if you don't mind. Besides that, feel free to roam around... take some of my previously taken quizzes... i'd recomend all of them, or else they wouldn't be here at all. Have FUN!! XD

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Unrequited love

I gave you my all
my heart in my hands
down on my knees
begging...

pleading...

questioning...

wondering why you can't see
what you've done to me
why can't you see
that this is killing me

and why is it so hard
for you to love me in return...

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Searching

searching for answers...
seeking the truth...
and the inner peace it brings
I wander aimlessly through my pathetic existance
never resting...
eyes always open...
sifting through the countless lies
to find the honesty in you....

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Friday, July 8, 2005

hey everyone. I wrote a new poem. just thought I'd share it with you...

The Perfect Girl...

I am 5
School has started
I've made some new friends
And I'm happy

I'm 7 now
Up 5" from last year
Grew 20 pounds as well
Learned how to ride my bike last week
And I'm healthy

I'm 12 since last week
My friends are all gone now
Nobody likes me anymore
I guess this means no girlfriend
And I'm lonely

I've turned 15
A freshman in highschool
I've seen you around, but never said hi
Even if I wanted to, I'd make a fool of myself
So for now I'll just admire from afar
And I like you

I'm almost 16
I'm in a class with you this year
I've talked to you for a month now
Your much nicer than I thought you'd be
Maybe I have a chance after all
And I really like you

I've turned 16 now
I'm almost out of time
I'd better tell you how I feel before it's too late
I just hope you feel the same
And I love you

Christmas is over
Guess Santa isn't real
All I really wanted was you
Guess you don't feel the same
And I'm heartbroken

Sophmore year is over
Yearbook signings are inevitable
I asked you to sign mine
and to my suprise, you said yes
and I'm comforted



What's this I see?
A phone number in my yearbook?
I can't beleive this!!!
And I'm hopeful....

if you manage to get ahold of this, and you know who you are, I'm always thinking of you.......

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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

hey every body... it's been a while, hasn't it? well, to make a long story short, I don't have internet @ my house, and am currently on @ a friends house. NEhoo... I'm pretty bored right now... got nothin else to do, so I think I'll go take some quizes.
(later) ... well, I took some quizzes, and it made me think... about this time... when I fell in love... it was the first... and last... I gave her my heart... told her I was hers for the rest of time... and she turned around and found someone knew to toy with... cause she was bored with her puppet now that she got out of him what she thought she wanted... and at the same time, she made a servent, because he stopped trying to convince her that he was truely in love... that's what I did... I just couldn't get her to beleive me... cou;dn't make her see that I give up... that I was hers for the rest of my life... and it bored her to death knowing that I had stopped trying.. stopped flirting.. stopped calling... left it all for her to pick up where I left off... just return my feelings and we could coninue seeing each other... it annoyed her to realize that she didn't want what she thought she wanted..... and so, as these quizzes that I took today made me see...... I will never love again.
well, g2g.....

L8R

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